By Alex Merriman for WeddingWire
you’re chatting with a bride- or groom-to-be within the last few weeks
leading up to their wedding, here are 25 things you should avoid saying.
1. Are you planning to lose weight? We actually don’t think you should ever ask a bride-to-be about her figure in the weeks leading up to the wedding.
2. Can I get a plus one?
Narrowing down the guest list can be a tricky and overwhelming process,
with budget constraints and both families’ lists to consider. Chances
are most couples would give everyone a plus one if they could, but it’s
often an unrealistic option.
3. That’s...different. Maybe some of our plans aren’t necessarily how you would do things, but it’s not your wedding, now is it?
4. Relax, it’ll be fine.
We're going to be stressed no matter what, so telling us to relax is a
moot point. Unless you want to get disinvited from the wedding, we
suggest you refrain from this statement regarding last-minute details.
5. Why are you having the wedding there? If the venue I selected is too far for you to attend, then simply don’t come.
6. Don’t be a bridezilla.
If the bride is acting out of line, address is directly without tossing
out the b-word. “Hey, I think it’s a bit much for us to spend $500 on a
designer bridesmaid dress and fly across the country for your
7. Will there be any gluten-free or dairy-free options at dinner?
If you have a legitimate dietary restriction, we will of course do
everything we can to make sure you’re comfortable. But don’t assume the
caterers are going to bend over backwards to accommodate your diet of
8. What’s your engagement ring carat size? Oh, that’s cute.
Tacky and awkward. And even if she’s rocking a more petite rock or
plus-size carat diamond, never say the ring is too small. It could
create a giant gash. In your forehead. Just kidding, sort of.
9. I’m not wearing that bridesmaid dress!
Maybe it wouldn’t be your first choice, but we’d do it for you. If you
have serious concerns about the dress that you just can’t hold in, bring
it up gently. Throwing a temper tantrum isn’t the most productive way
to address the issue.
10. Your wedding dress isn’t very flattering on you. From
the Queen B herself, “Don’t you see my body? I want to let it out
tonight. Wanna dance, wanna party, wanna be myself tonight.”
11. That’s really not my style. Cool. We all have different styles. See #3 re: not your wedding, not your problem.
12. Can I sit next to [name] at dinner? Seating chart logistics are a doozy and we promise we’re doing the best we can to make everyone happy.
13. Are you sure you want to marry him? If
you’re a close friend or family member with a serious concern, that’s
one thing. But throwing a comment like this in casual conversation? Not
14. Wait, there’s an open bar? No cash bar please.
If you encounter a guest who isn’t exactly shy about broadcasting his
or her complaints, don’t feel obligated to defend your choices. Take the
high road and let them know that, if they can get over it, you would
love to have them there celebrating with you.
15. Why am I not a bridesmaid? Friends
come and go throughout the years. If you can’t picture them in your
life in five, 10, or even 50 years down the road, it’s safe to say you
didn’t make the cut. Plus, it’s a huge commitment, so perhaps she should
16. That cost how much? You wouldn't ask someone how much they paid for their house the moment you walk in, would you? Same common courtesies apply.
17. I met your in-laws . . . so sorry.
Whether you have a good or bad relationship with your in-laws, they are
still your newest additions to the family. Stick up for them!
18. What’s the rush? You just got engaged! Everyone
has different timelines for different reasons. What’s important is that
it makes sense to the couple and that they’re happy.
19. I saw all of these ideas online. Real original. Even
though every bride has websites and blogs readily available to them,
that doesn’t mean she’s the first or last to “steal” the ideas via
20. When are you going to have kids? First
comes love, then comes marriage, then comes whatever the bride and
groom wants. i.e. a house or job promotion. Not just a baby in a
carriage. The only appropriate answer is “When we are ready.”
21. Tonight’s going to be a fun night, huh? Seriously?
The sex life inquiries aren't necessary. Instead ask about what is
already happening: the fabulous food, drinks, and entertainment.
22. Where are you going to have your wedding published? Some
couples might want to submit their photos to every publication under
the sun, while others prefer to keep things private. As long as they
enjoy the day itself, why should it matter?
23. Maybe this one will last. Be positive, not negative. Against the odds, you two have committed to each other and are making a public vow by saying so!
24. You know 50% of marriages end in divorce. What
do you expect us to say to this? “Oh in that case, guess we won’t
bother”? Throwing out this statistic isn’t helping anyone. Who cares
about others’ relationships.
25. What are you going to do if it rains? That’s what Plan B is for.