Monday, March 31, 2014
Friday, March 28, 2014
5 Powerful Reasons to Get Married
Many singles (especially our ladies) dream of the day when they will walk down the aisle with their lover and friend, exchange vows before friends and family, throw an amazing reception, and drive (or fly) away to a time of seclusion and romance for a week or two. But, beautiful wedding aside, are we ready to consider why we should get married? Is there more to marriage than a well-planned wedding and romantic honeymoon?
Let us take a close look at five great reasons to consider getting married.
1. Committed companionship. It has been said that no-one usually gets married to go through divorce. The traditional marriage vows state “‘Til death do us part” and honestly, most of us who want to marry desire to live out our vows until death. Knowing that your spouse is 100% committed to the marriage and that you are also as committed puts many fears to rest. It’s easy to be vulnerable and confident in all aspects of the marriage when both are assured that they are each other’s only lover and best friend.
2. Strong Families. So many statistics speak to the strength of a family where children are raised with both parents within the same home. The children are typically more confident/secure, do well in school and are typically healthier (especially emotionally). A family that is built on a strong marital foundation is powerful indeed!
3. Partnership. Instead of having to make all major decisions alone, both can sit down together and come up with creative, workable solutions. It is an amazing thing to watch couples who are able to strategize and make things flow. Ideas on how to save money, how to reduce debt, and how best to handle issues that arise makes it easier to face life’s challenges. For couples who work together like our founders Ronnie and Lamar, the power of partnership definitely has a deeper meaning. The skills and strengths of each spouse helps to balance business decisions and the execution of ideas, which can translate into significant financial security. Dependable partnership makes life truly enjoyable!
4. Personal supporter. Knowing that you have your own personal cheerleader in your corner makes it easier to face challenges or manage everyday life. Whether it is launching into a new career, battling an illness or raising children, the cheers from your personal supporter can make the difference between giving up and pushing forward one more day.
5. Exclusivity. With 100% commitment from both parties, exclusive sex is a powerful reason to desire marriage. With the rise in STDs and emotional complications from sexual soul ties, having an exclusive lover to enjoy whenever you want to is definitely something to treasure. When both partners have made the commitment to not go anywhere else for sexual satisfaction, sex becomes more enjoyable. There is an openness in exclusive marital relationships that isn’t typically found elsewhere.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
10 Things You Should Not Do After You Get Engaged
This is a crazy time for many newly engaged couples. With all the Christmas, New Year's and Valentine's engagements, it probably seems like half of your friends are involved in a wedding in one way or the another. Everybody is either engaged, a member of the wedding party, a parent of an engaged child or making travel arrangements to attend a destination wedding.
With all the crazy going down, brides and grooms sometimes get ahead of themselves and -- feeling happy and like they can take on the world -- do and say things that cause them stress and consternation down the road. Here are 10 things you should not do after you get engaged and before you get married:
1) Do not adopt a puppy. Do not buy a horse. Do not add anything to your schedule that will require extra maintenance and a babysitter for your wedding week. You won't have time for it and it's not fair to the animal. Seriously. Do it after you get back from your honeymoon.
2) Do not decide that it's time to start house hunting or move unless it's absolutely, positively necessary. The most stressful times of your life are getting married, moving, changing jobs, having children and getting divorced. Why would you want to double up on the stress when you're already committed to wedding planning for next however many months? Adding a move to the mess will only make you crazier. Plus, it will smack your budget hard, no matter how well you plan ahead. Also try not to change jobs if you can help it. Why pile on more to worry about?
3) Don't take an out-of-control vacation within six months of your wedding, unless it's your bachelor or bachelorette weekend with friends. If you have the money for a fabulous trip, please save it. Put it away and hold onto it for unexpected expenses that may come up with your wedding. Blowing it all on a cruise three months before your big day and then whining because you have 20 more guests than you'd anticipated so you're over budget is just ridiculous. Plan for the emergency if you have the resources.
4) Don't spend all of your time surfing wedding websites and buying bridal magazines. After you've planned your décor, swear off Pinterest for a whole 30 days... if that's even possible. One way to really make your wedding planner insane and blow the hell out of your budget is to keep messing with the details of the wedding after the decisions have been made, bids obtained and deposits paid. The time to choose was before you signed the contracts and locked things down.
5) Don't continue shopping for wedding gowns after you've already bought one. That's a really, really stupid thing to do, unless your original intent was to end up with more than one dress (and yes, that's a huge trend now). But if you planned to buy and wear one wedding gown, once you've ordered it, stop second-guessing yourself. And stop looking at dresses. I've had clients who bought three different dresses (and absorbed the cost of all of them and wore only one) because they made themselves crazy continuing to shop.
6) Don't share all your wedding details on social media or with all of your friends. There should be some surprises, and it's tacky to talk about it in a forum where most of your "friends" on Facebook won't be invited to participate in the festivities anyway. You may find the vast selection of favors fascinating, but you don't have to post about it. In fact, you shouldn't. Look forward to having amazing pictures that you can share after the wedding when no surprises will be ruined and those who aren't invited won't feel like it's being shoved up their noses.
7) Don't solicit the opinion of all of your bridesmaids regarding the bridesmaid dresses. That is the kiss of death and a guarantee that somebody is going to end up unhappy. Include the Maid of Honor and maybe one more bridesmaid (particularly if you have somebody who is going to be a difficult fit), but leave everybody else out of it until it's a fait accompli. Seriously.
8) Don't involve your bridal party in your wedding planning, unless it's to help you make favors or do some other bridal party project. Leave them out of your meetings with vendors and conference calls with your planner. Your fiancé and your mom are the only ones who should participate (and only if you want to include your mother).
9) Don't put off the stupid little homework assignments that your wedding planner gives you. Do not wait 'til the last minute to write your wedding ceremony. Do not wait 'til a month before the wedding to start thinking about your DJ playlist. The marriage license information form you were given at the first meeting could have been completed the first week of planning -- the info on there won't change before your wedding date. Although it seems like you have gobs of time for planning when you're looking at the "to do" list six or more months out, it's important to listen to your planner about what should be finished when, or you'll find yourself with a big old pile of homework a few weeks before your wedding.
10) Don't let the stress of wedding planning ruin the fun of being engaged. I know brides who never tasted anything at any of their showers or parties and only drank one night of their bachelorette weekend because they were so determined to lose the extra pounds before the wedding. Some of them have even been known to turn on the groom, asking him to diet too. He didn't ask you to lose weight to get the second ring, why are you asking him to drop pounds to say "I do?" I mean, for real, does that sound like fun? I'm not saying you can't slim down, but don't get so stressed out about it that you take away the bubbly fun of all of it. Don't turn dance lessons into a torture session -- go out for cocktails first (it worked for me and my husband Bill). Don't talk exclusively about the wedding when you're spending time together -- it will make you both a little nutty. Try to be your normal selves and bask in the glow of the shiny diamond. And remember to keep your nails pretty.
At the end of the day, you can make your wedding planning process as easy or difficult as you want to make it -- really, it's up to you. But if you avoid the items I mentioned above, you have a better chance at having fun during your engagement and making fantastic memories along the way.
Until next time, happy wedding planning from Weddings in Vieques and Weddings in Culebra!
With all the crazy going down, brides and grooms sometimes get ahead of themselves and -- feeling happy and like they can take on the world -- do and say things that cause them stress and consternation down the road. Here are 10 things you should not do after you get engaged and before you get married:
1) Do not adopt a puppy. Do not buy a horse. Do not add anything to your schedule that will require extra maintenance and a babysitter for your wedding week. You won't have time for it and it's not fair to the animal. Seriously. Do it after you get back from your honeymoon.
2) Do not decide that it's time to start house hunting or move unless it's absolutely, positively necessary. The most stressful times of your life are getting married, moving, changing jobs, having children and getting divorced. Why would you want to double up on the stress when you're already committed to wedding planning for next however many months? Adding a move to the mess will only make you crazier. Plus, it will smack your budget hard, no matter how well you plan ahead. Also try not to change jobs if you can help it. Why pile on more to worry about?
3) Don't take an out-of-control vacation within six months of your wedding, unless it's your bachelor or bachelorette weekend with friends. If you have the money for a fabulous trip, please save it. Put it away and hold onto it for unexpected expenses that may come up with your wedding. Blowing it all on a cruise three months before your big day and then whining because you have 20 more guests than you'd anticipated so you're over budget is just ridiculous. Plan for the emergency if you have the resources.
4) Don't spend all of your time surfing wedding websites and buying bridal magazines. After you've planned your décor, swear off Pinterest for a whole 30 days... if that's even possible. One way to really make your wedding planner insane and blow the hell out of your budget is to keep messing with the details of the wedding after the decisions have been made, bids obtained and deposits paid. The time to choose was before you signed the contracts and locked things down.
5) Don't continue shopping for wedding gowns after you've already bought one. That's a really, really stupid thing to do, unless your original intent was to end up with more than one dress (and yes, that's a huge trend now). But if you planned to buy and wear one wedding gown, once you've ordered it, stop second-guessing yourself. And stop looking at dresses. I've had clients who bought three different dresses (and absorbed the cost of all of them and wore only one) because they made themselves crazy continuing to shop.
6) Don't share all your wedding details on social media or with all of your friends. There should be some surprises, and it's tacky to talk about it in a forum where most of your "friends" on Facebook won't be invited to participate in the festivities anyway. You may find the vast selection of favors fascinating, but you don't have to post about it. In fact, you shouldn't. Look forward to having amazing pictures that you can share after the wedding when no surprises will be ruined and those who aren't invited won't feel like it's being shoved up their noses.
7) Don't solicit the opinion of all of your bridesmaids regarding the bridesmaid dresses. That is the kiss of death and a guarantee that somebody is going to end up unhappy. Include the Maid of Honor and maybe one more bridesmaid (particularly if you have somebody who is going to be a difficult fit), but leave everybody else out of it until it's a fait accompli. Seriously.
8) Don't involve your bridal party in your wedding planning, unless it's to help you make favors or do some other bridal party project. Leave them out of your meetings with vendors and conference calls with your planner. Your fiancé and your mom are the only ones who should participate (and only if you want to include your mother).
9) Don't put off the stupid little homework assignments that your wedding planner gives you. Do not wait 'til the last minute to write your wedding ceremony. Do not wait 'til a month before the wedding to start thinking about your DJ playlist. The marriage license information form you were given at the first meeting could have been completed the first week of planning -- the info on there won't change before your wedding date. Although it seems like you have gobs of time for planning when you're looking at the "to do" list six or more months out, it's important to listen to your planner about what should be finished when, or you'll find yourself with a big old pile of homework a few weeks before your wedding.
10) Don't let the stress of wedding planning ruin the fun of being engaged. I know brides who never tasted anything at any of their showers or parties and only drank one night of their bachelorette weekend because they were so determined to lose the extra pounds before the wedding. Some of them have even been known to turn on the groom, asking him to diet too. He didn't ask you to lose weight to get the second ring, why are you asking him to drop pounds to say "I do?" I mean, for real, does that sound like fun? I'm not saying you can't slim down, but don't get so stressed out about it that you take away the bubbly fun of all of it. Don't turn dance lessons into a torture session -- go out for cocktails first (it worked for me and my husband Bill). Don't talk exclusively about the wedding when you're spending time together -- it will make you both a little nutty. Try to be your normal selves and bask in the glow of the shiny diamond. And remember to keep your nails pretty.
At the end of the day, you can make your wedding planning process as easy or difficult as you want to make it -- really, it's up to you. But if you avoid the items I mentioned above, you have a better chance at having fun during your engagement and making fantastic memories along the way.
Until next time, happy wedding planning from Weddings in Vieques and Weddings in Culebra!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
10 things NOT to do at a wedding
(CNN) -- Weddings can induce some crazy behavior.
Emotions are high, families are thrown together, and everyone must conform to a tight schedule, not to mention the shenanigans that ensue when there's an open bar involved.
Sarah Pease, a well-known New York City proposal planner, has been planning weddings since 2008 with her company Brilliant Event Planning. She's seen everything from the "bridezilla" stressing about every detail to guests showing up in white -- a major faux pas.
Pease shared a list of 10 ultimate wedding guest "don'ts" with Business Insider.
Don't deviate from a schedule
"It's not a very sexy idea, but planning can really impact your day and the happiness of everyone there," Pease said. "If you've got to be at the church by 6 p.m., the bride has to leave the hotel by 4:30 because it will take her a half-hour to get into her dress. The hair and make-up people need to know that everyone has to be done by 4:45 so they can help the bride get into her dress. And so on.
"If you're helping or attending, stick to the timeline so the bride only has to worry about her schedule."
Don't wing a wedding speech
"People who say they're just going to wing it crash and burn every time," she said. "You wouldn't show up to a half-marathon without training, so don't show up to the wedding without a prepared speech."
"And keep it short," Pease added. "A five-minute speech is long. Hit three general ideas. Don't ramble. In my experience, you'll get on a tangent and then start talking about something uncomfortable."
Don't wear anything resembling white if you're not the bride
"The bride should be the only person wearing white," Pease said. "There's always at least one person, man or woman, who shows up to the wedding as a guest wearing white or a color too close to white."
Don't stiff the bartender
"You should still tip the bartender even at an open bar because they're making your drink right there," she said. "It's a nice service and they're there for a long time."
Don't get drunk
"This is really up to each person, but there's this idea of 'wedding drunk' that I find useful," she said. "Basically, don't become a hassle for the bride and groom."
Don't complain about the food
Wedding food is notoriously bad, but Pease advises sucking it up. "The rule of thumb is, ask yourself will this upset the bride and groom. If the answer is yes, you shouldn't do it."
"You could have a Michelin chef cooking for everyone and some people would still complain," she said. "Just focus on what's good about the wedding, like getting to celebrate with friends and family."
Don't monopolize the bride and groom
"Cocktail hour is a great time to spend two minutes with the couple," Pease said. "Don't track them down and try to spend 30 minutes catching up. If they did that with all 200 of their guests, they'd run out of time."
"The best thing to do is say a quick congratulations," she said. "You can always schedule a phone call or lunch with the bride or groom for later."
Don't get too aggressive with the bouquet toss
"You've either got a wedding full of single girls or possibly some divorcees," Pease said, "but either way emotions can run high if you think about it as a literal sign for who's getting married next. I like when there's an alliance to flip it to a girl who really wants it."
"If guys want to get in on the action, by all means go for it," she added. "Just be gentle. Don't tackle anyone. It's not a contact sport."
Don't buy a gift the couple didn't put on their registry
"Going off registry is always a contentious subject," Pease said. "Some people think an off-registry gift is more personal or heartfelt. But honest to God, people really just want the stuff on their registry. That's why they picked it."
"But if you do choose to go off registry, cash is a better option than an alternate gift," she told us. "I prefer cash gifts where the giver says, 'Here's x-number of dollars for a helicopter ride in Hawaii, close to where you're honeymooning,' or 'Here's something to put toward your new mortgage.' Something like that to give the money a purpose."
Don't steal souvenirs from the wedding decorations
"Always check with the venue before you grab anything," Pease advised. "Don't ask the bride and groom, but you can ask a waiter or a wedding planner."
"Sometimes, depending on something like an agreement with a florist, you can take the whole centerpiece," she said. "Other times, the vases are rentals or the flowers are being donated to a local hospital the next morning. It's always best to check."
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
10 Wedding Registry Gifts to Keep the Romance Alive in Your Home
When you're planning a wedding, it can be easy to focus in on the details of your big day and not on carrying the romance from your wedding into the new life that starts after you're married. Creating a wedding registry can feel more like a to-do list than a compilation of products that inspire and excite you, but it doesn't have to be.
I shopped the gifts from the newly launched wedding registry platform, Blueprint Registry (It's the first wedding registry based on the blueprint of your home, which I think is genius) and compiled a list of my 10 favorite wedding registry gifts to keep romance alive in your home. Check out my picks and leave me a comment and let me know which ones you love!
1. Crosley Executive USB Portable Turntable: Studies have shown that listening to music can make us generally happier and less stressed! Retro style meets modern technology with the Crosley Executive turntable, which takes your favorite vinyl and converts them into digital files.
2. Day of Games Gold and Silver Bocce Ball Set: The couple that plays together stays together. This stylish gold and chrome finished bocce ball set will bring style and fun to any backyard party or to an at-home date night.
3. Union Canvas Weekender Bag: Traveling to a new city or taking a break from your normal routine is the perfect way to spice up your relationship. The Union Canvas weekender bag makes a stylish and ecologically friendly travel companion when packing light or carrying on board.
4. Framed Print - East River Bride II: Register for a print of a city or landmark that means something to you both. Maybe you got engaged in Washington, D.C., or got married in Austin. Regardless of the place, a print of a location that holds meaning to you both is sure to always bring a smile to your face when you see it hanging on the wall.
5. Martini Set from Blueprint Registry: It's 5 o'clock somewhere! Having a happy hour with your significant other is sure to make you, well... happy. Shake up your favorite cocktails with the American Metalcraft Cocktail shaker or make opening a bottle of wine a breeze with the Cork Pops Original Wine Bottle Opener. When you bring the bar to you, the best part is, you won't have to worry about who's driving home!
6. Tribeca Living 800 Thread Count Egyptian Cotton Sateen Sheet Set: Does this gift even need an explanation as to why I chose it? Not only does a good night sleep make everyone feel better, but these super soft sheets are sure to inspire any couple to want to hit the sack for other reasons than to just catch up on some Z's. Keeping romance alive in the bedroom is always easier with a comfy bed calling your name.
7. Chef's Choice Deluxe Waffle Cone Express Kit: After you've worked up an appetite in the bedroom, it's time for a sweet treat. This at home waffle kit makes for a fun date night idea and is something you can both do together.
8. One Line A Day Five-Year Memory Book: This classic memory keeper is the perfect way to track the ups and downs of life, day by day. The 365 daily entries appear five times on each page, so that you can revisit your previous thoughts and memories over the five years as you return to each page to record the current day's events. It's a great way to reminisce on good times together and to help you both appreciate all of life's little moments.
9. Fig + Yarrow Pink Love Salts: Whether you're soaking in the tub together or drawing a bath to de-stress after a long day, Mineral-rich Himalayan pink salts provide a warm, aromatic bath soak, made to detoxify the body and relieve sore muscles, while stimulating circulation with an amorous blend of essential oils.
10. Linnea's Lights Candle From Terrain: Set the mood with the sophisticated blend of patchouli, vanilla, and lime in this calming candle. Combining natural soy wax, lead-free cotton wicks, and pure scents, Linnea's Lights clean-burning candles are carefully hand-poured in small batches and sure to add a special touch to any dinner or quiet night at home.
Check out these and other creative wedding registry gifts on Blueprint Registry. Happy shopping!
I shopped the gifts from the newly launched wedding registry platform, Blueprint Registry (It's the first wedding registry based on the blueprint of your home, which I think is genius) and compiled a list of my 10 favorite wedding registry gifts to keep romance alive in your home. Check out my picks and leave me a comment and let me know which ones you love!
1. Crosley Executive USB Portable Turntable: Studies have shown that listening to music can make us generally happier and less stressed! Retro style meets modern technology with the Crosley Executive turntable, which takes your favorite vinyl and converts them into digital files.
2. Day of Games Gold and Silver Bocce Ball Set: The couple that plays together stays together. This stylish gold and chrome finished bocce ball set will bring style and fun to any backyard party or to an at-home date night.
3. Union Canvas Weekender Bag: Traveling to a new city or taking a break from your normal routine is the perfect way to spice up your relationship. The Union Canvas weekender bag makes a stylish and ecologically friendly travel companion when packing light or carrying on board.
4. Framed Print - East River Bride II: Register for a print of a city or landmark that means something to you both. Maybe you got engaged in Washington, D.C., or got married in Austin. Regardless of the place, a print of a location that holds meaning to you both is sure to always bring a smile to your face when you see it hanging on the wall.
5. Martini Set from Blueprint Registry: It's 5 o'clock somewhere! Having a happy hour with your significant other is sure to make you, well... happy. Shake up your favorite cocktails with the American Metalcraft Cocktail shaker or make opening a bottle of wine a breeze with the Cork Pops Original Wine Bottle Opener. When you bring the bar to you, the best part is, you won't have to worry about who's driving home!
6. Tribeca Living 800 Thread Count Egyptian Cotton Sateen Sheet Set: Does this gift even need an explanation as to why I chose it? Not only does a good night sleep make everyone feel better, but these super soft sheets are sure to inspire any couple to want to hit the sack for other reasons than to just catch up on some Z's. Keeping romance alive in the bedroom is always easier with a comfy bed calling your name.
7. Chef's Choice Deluxe Waffle Cone Express Kit: After you've worked up an appetite in the bedroom, it's time for a sweet treat. This at home waffle kit makes for a fun date night idea and is something you can both do together.
8. One Line A Day Five-Year Memory Book: This classic memory keeper is the perfect way to track the ups and downs of life, day by day. The 365 daily entries appear five times on each page, so that you can revisit your previous thoughts and memories over the five years as you return to each page to record the current day's events. It's a great way to reminisce on good times together and to help you both appreciate all of life's little moments.
9. Fig + Yarrow Pink Love Salts: Whether you're soaking in the tub together or drawing a bath to de-stress after a long day, Mineral-rich Himalayan pink salts provide a warm, aromatic bath soak, made to detoxify the body and relieve sore muscles, while stimulating circulation with an amorous blend of essential oils.
10. Linnea's Lights Candle From Terrain: Set the mood with the sophisticated blend of patchouli, vanilla, and lime in this calming candle. Combining natural soy wax, lead-free cotton wicks, and pure scents, Linnea's Lights clean-burning candles are carefully hand-poured in small batches and sure to add a special touch to any dinner or quiet night at home.
Check out these and other creative wedding registry gifts on Blueprint Registry. Happy shopping!
Monday, March 24, 2014
These Proposal Photos Will Turn Your Heart To Mush
March 20 was National Proposal Day (yep, that's a real thing) and the first day of spring. In other words, love is very much in the air.
Here at HuffPost Weddings, we're celebrating this happy day by rounding up some of our favorite tug-at-your-heartstrings proposal photos. Check them out below and try not to smile ear-to-ear, we dare you.
Here at HuffPost Weddings, we're celebrating this happy day by rounding up some of our favorite tug-at-your-heartstrings proposal photos. Check them out below and try not to smile ear-to-ear, we dare you.
Credit: we are the parsons
Credit: Ica Remo of Ica Images
Credit: Jessica Fairchild
Credit: Sarah Becker Photography via HowHeAsked
Credit: Paparazzi Proposals via HowHeAsked
Credit: Sarah DeShaw Photographers via HowHeAsked
Credit: Paparazzi Proposals
Credit: Lucky Pro Video via HowHeAsked
Credit: Mike Razo/Mexican Wedding Photo Studio
Credit: Kylee Ann Photography via HowHeAsked
Marriage Boot Camp: How To Avoid Divorce
After twenty years of working with couples and seeing everything from pre-marrieds to unfaithful mates, we would like to share some of our best tips about divorce prevention. These suggestions can help you work things out with your current spouse, or they will help you avoid the same mistakes in your next relationship.
1. Take on your marriage.
Get off your lazy butt and do the hard work of creating the marriage that you want: stop whining, complaining and blaming. Find a boot camp, conference, workshop or a great counselor. Remember this: you don't get what you want, you get what you work for.
2. Speak a second language.
Communication is the key to a strong relationship. Study your mate, learn the subtle cues for attention, affirmation, and (of course) sex! Learn to speak your mate's emotional language and distinguish it from their logical language. "Do I look fat in this?" is a request for affirmation, not information! Learn also to speak your mate's love language.
3. Learn to forgive.
Master the art of forgiveness. Learn what forgiveness is and is not. You do NOT have to forget, it does NOT mean that you condone their behavior, you do NOT have to go back to a bad relationship, you do NOT have to confront the person, and they do not have to apologize for their behavior. You DO have to make a decision to forgive or you will continue to live in the past, and forgiveness is something you may have to do over and over every time the pain comes up. After all is said and done, when you release the offender from being in your debt, YOU can be free and they no longer have control.
4. Start with yourself.
Deal with your past. Take a thorough inventory of yourself and make sure that you are not poisoning your current relationship with your baggage. When you grow, so will your marriage.
5. Learn to fight.
Get the skills, the tools, and a solid foundation of rules for fair play. Here are the rules of engagement:
6. Take a time out.
Have you ever gotten overheated and said something that you wish you could take back? When this happens, you need to back off, stop action and, take a time out. Rule of thumb: take a 15-minute break then check in to see if you can continue in a productive way.
7. Strive for solutions that benefit everybody.
Win-lose is really lose-lose in marriage because nobody wins a power struggle! Use these techniques instead:
8. Spike the ball: Excessive celebration is highly encouraged.
When you get through a tough conflict, make sure that you celebrate together! Go out for ice cream, have a happy hour, or everyone's favorite -- make-up sex!
1. Take on your marriage.
Get off your lazy butt and do the hard work of creating the marriage that you want: stop whining, complaining and blaming. Find a boot camp, conference, workshop or a great counselor. Remember this: you don't get what you want, you get what you work for.
2. Speak a second language.
Communication is the key to a strong relationship. Study your mate, learn the subtle cues for attention, affirmation, and (of course) sex! Learn to speak your mate's emotional language and distinguish it from their logical language. "Do I look fat in this?" is a request for affirmation, not information! Learn also to speak your mate's love language.
3. Learn to forgive.
Master the art of forgiveness. Learn what forgiveness is and is not. You do NOT have to forget, it does NOT mean that you condone their behavior, you do NOT have to go back to a bad relationship, you do NOT have to confront the person, and they do not have to apologize for their behavior. You DO have to make a decision to forgive or you will continue to live in the past, and forgiveness is something you may have to do over and over every time the pain comes up. After all is said and done, when you release the offender from being in your debt, YOU can be free and they no longer have control.
4. Start with yourself.
Deal with your past. Take a thorough inventory of yourself and make sure that you are not poisoning your current relationship with your baggage. When you grow, so will your marriage.
5. Learn to fight.
Get the skills, the tools, and a solid foundation of rules for fair play. Here are the rules of engagement:
- You're on the same team. Know that you are fighting for your relationship, not to make a point, not to win, not to beat your mate down. Attack the issue, not each other.
- There is one play. Tackle one issue at a time and stay on topic. Do not bring up past arguments or other unresolved issues.
- Stay in the game. We tell our players to "play hurt", get past the pain and stay focused on the goal. Do not run out on your team unless you are prepared to lose.
- Listen, understand and validate. Listening means stop, pay attention and focus. You must put your own opinions, feelings, and logic on hold for the moment. Understand means putting yourself in your mate's shoes and learning to "mirror." When your mate is done sharing say, "what I heard you say is..." Validating does not mean that you agree. You can say, "I see why you would think that..." and you use your imagination to really get it.
- Here are a list of bad plays: Name calling, cursing, button pushing, third party testimonials (my sister thinks so too!), superlatives (never, always), non-verbals (eye rolling, headshaking, etc.)
6. Take a time out.
Have you ever gotten overheated and said something that you wish you could take back? When this happens, you need to back off, stop action and, take a time out. Rule of thumb: take a 15-minute break then check in to see if you can continue in a productive way.
7. Strive for solutions that benefit everybody.
Win-lose is really lose-lose in marriage because nobody wins a power struggle! Use these techniques instead:
- Negotiate
- Barter
- Compromise
- Sacrifice
8. Spike the ball: Excessive celebration is highly encouraged.
When you get through a tough conflict, make sure that you celebrate together! Go out for ice cream, have a happy hour, or everyone's favorite -- make-up sex!
These Celebrity Wedding Crashers Are Almost Too Good To Be True
An unexpected guest who shows up at a wedding sans invitation is a major inconvenience and overall pain in the butt. But when the crasher in question is a celebrity, brides and grooms tend to be more a bit more accommodating. Because if Ellen DeGeneres happens to show up to your wedding, there's always room at your table. Always.
Below are nine awesome celebrities who crashed so-called "regular" folks' weddings. To say we're jealous about these awesome photo ops is an understatement.
Below are nine awesome celebrities who crashed so-called "regular" folks' weddings. To say we're jealous about these awesome photo ops is an understatement.
Conan O'Brien
"He just walked up and introduced himself, and we were like, wow. He was a really, really nice guy. He was super personable, walking around and taking pictures with everybody." - Groom Wes Hoffman [Credit: Holly J: Images]
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi
"They were incredibly nice. Ellen was really funny. She cracked jokes with my husband." - Bride Brigid Santiago [Credit: Juan Turcios ]
LeBron James
"It was really unexpected and exciting. Shaun [the groom] was like, 'That's enough! We don't need to get married anymore.'" - Bride Jamie Kolnick[Credit: ANJE Soirees]
Zach Braff
"The funny thing about this was that I didn’t even notice it until I started to edit the images earlier tonight! I scanned through the set and his face looked familiar. 'Is that Zach Braff?'" - Photographer Sascha Reinking [Credit: Sascha Reinking Photography]
David Hasselhoff
"He asked where we were from and [my wife] asked if she could get a picture with him. As I was about to take the picture, he told me to give my camera to his assistant and get in the picture. He was very friendly and even bought us a round of drinks." - Groom Glen Warnock [Courtesy of Glen Warnock]
Bill Clinton
"I thanked him for all he did for the Peace Process and for being such a friend of Ireland." - Irish groom Pat Howard[Credit: Philip Daly Photography]
John Travolta
"My friend ran into John Travolta the night before his wedding, and he shows up the next day." [via Reddit]
Steven Tyler
[via Jeffrey Roseman/Twitter]
Robin Williams
"We were walking to take some quick portraits in NYC and Robin Williams was taking a walk there too. He was super nice when the groom talked to him and introduced him to the bride." - Photographer Ananda Lima [Credit: Ananda Lima]
Friday, March 21, 2014
What I Gave up the Day I Got Married
I was married at the young age of 19. Yup, I know. Besides possibly setting a new record, I am also "crazy." Don't worry. You don't need to tell me that. I already know.
In fact, I've heard it all:
"Didn't you just get out of high school?"
"It was just yesterday that you were in diapers!! You're just a baby!"
"Don't you think you should date more before making such a big decision?"
"Are you sure about this? It's a lot of responsibility."
"Oh wow, engaged? Wait... Really? But you're only 19."
"Are you even old enough to sign marriage certificate?"
"Are you pregnant or something?!"
"How do you know he's what you want? You haven't even tested the waters!"
"You're too young to know what real love is."
And perhaps the most common statement of all:
"Don't you think you'll regret not living up your single years?"
Followed by:
"I wish I waited a bit longer to get married and just let myself have fun. You can't take back these years that you're giving up to get married. You can wait, you know."
To all those people who doubted my decision and told me I was "giving it up," you were absolutely right.
I gave up my heart. The moment I said "I do," my love was no longer my own. I gave another imperfect human being the ability to take me higher than I've ever been, but also the power too crush me to a million little pieces.
I gave up my privacy. I went home on June 8th in someone else's car, to sleep in someone else's bed and to breathe someone else's air. It would never, from that moment on, be just "me" anymore. It was now me and him and him and me. It was now our family, our home and our decisions. It's funny though, because the moment "I" became a "we," I realized what it really meant to be happy.
I gave up my name. The name I was known for my whole life, didn't define me anymore. I would be known by his name now. I was his to cherish, love, hold, laugh with, cry with, provide for and protect.
I gave up my secrets, my weaknesses, my thoughts, my mistakes and the things I hid from the world. Someone now would know. But, someone would also know exactly how to help me, love me and comfort me. Someone would know me so well that they would know what I needed without me ever asking. I would lose all the hidden parts of me, and gain a perfect understanding and love from someone else.
I gave up my agenda. I would have to cancel plans, rearrange my schedule, work longer hours, go to the grocery store when the car was available and cook dinner instead of taking a nap. And as the clock was ticking I would come to understand the reason I was given time in the first place.
I would give up dating different people. I no longer was available for anyone to take out. I was done meeting potential spouses because I had found mine. Yes, I could have dated more. Yes, there are lots of great people out there that I didn't meet, but no, there's no one else as perfect for me as my Ash. And yes, I can know that even though I dated less years than most people and yes I did know that when I picked him, which was WHY I picked him.
I gave up awkward dinner conversations and replaced them with evenings laying in my hubby's arms, with a round belly and no make up, sporting his sweats and an oversized T-shirt I won at some jazz game, eating microwave popcorn and watching Netflix and feeling more beautiful than a celebrity on the red carpet.
I gave up my money, my time, my need to be right, my stubbornness, my life and my whole self.
And yes I did give up YEARS of my life that I can NEVER get back or change.
BUT the difference between me and you is I don't regret one day, minute or second of those years.
If anything, I wish I had began this incredible journey called marriage sooner, because nothing I have ever done, or could ever do, has filled me with as much love, happiness and peace as this. Yes it can be harder than I ever imagined it would be. I am challenged every day to be a better more selfless person that I am, but my life has taken on more meaning than I knew it could and I have become more complete than I thought was possible.
And if given the choice, I would do it all over again.
I would "give it all up" in a heartbeat.
6 Secrets of Successful Couples
Photo: Ron Antonelli of Brian Dorsey Studios
What will your relationship look like after a year? What about after 5, 10, or 20 years? To find out, Brides talked to nearly 50 married couples with the hopes of uncovering the secret to marital success. We asked our long-lasting couples about the low moments in marriage, the high points—and how newlywed lvoe changes into something even better. Want your marriage to make it to year 20 and beyond? (Of course you do!) Whether you're newly in love, recently engaged, or just married, these lessons are definitely ones to bookmark. Here, what our long-lasting couples all have in common, and what you can learn from their longevity:
They are each other's champions. You needn't be pie-eyed about your partner's abilities and talents—although it's wonderful if you are—but you do need to be affirming of his dreams and goals.
They are interdependent, not codependent. Your partner may be your other half, but he is also a separate individual who was not put on the earth solely as your ego booster.
You don't live in each other's pockets. Separate goals and interests are fine as long as you're both committed to the relationship.
They don't expect perfection. There will be times when you are bored, cranky, irritated, et cetera.
Marriage isn't a fairy tale. Think of life together as a novel with some slow chapters.
They give and receive good TLC. Be trustworthy, loving, and communicative. Don't fight to win. Rather, "fight" to understand your partner's point of view and ensure he understands yours. That way, you both win!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
8 Couples Who Don't Take The Whole Wedding Thing Too Seriously
Traditional wedding invitations give guests the option to "happily accept" or "regretfully decline" -- which is a total snooze-fest, if you ask us. It's no wonder so many people forget to reply!
We rounded up eight of the snarkiest, most creative wedding RSVP cards we've ever seen. Check them out below, but be warned: You will be wishing you had snagged an invite to these weddings.
via Redditor pajamas1
Because honesty is the best policy.
Credit: Katie Kerr and Chris Sabino
You had us at "free booze".
via dianotter on Imgur/HappyPlace
You can never have too many options.
via Redditor mgoreddit
Because Nic Cage is romance personified.
via Redditor United08
Black tie optional, bells highly encouraged.
via Redditor Herm0
Finally, an option for people who think RSVPing is for sissies.
via Redditor rickcheese
Ugh. Those pesky anti-child consumption laws are such a drag.
via Imgur
If you're not going to come, at least have a super awesome excuse.
We rounded up eight of the snarkiest, most creative wedding RSVP cards we've ever seen. Check them out below, but be warned: You will be wishing you had snagged an invite to these weddings.
via Redditor pajamas1
Because honesty is the best policy.
Credit: Katie Kerr and Chris Sabino
You had us at "free booze".
via dianotter on Imgur/HappyPlace
You can never have too many options.
via Redditor mgoreddit
Because Nic Cage is romance personified.
via Redditor United08
Black tie optional, bells highly encouraged.
via Redditor Herm0
Finally, an option for people who think RSVPing is for sissies.
via Redditor rickcheese
Ugh. Those pesky anti-child consumption laws are such a drag.
via Imgur
If you're not going to come, at least have a super awesome excuse.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
3 Reasons To Consider A Family-Style Wedding Menu
By Kellee Khalil for Lover.ly
The wedding menu that you and your partner design together with your caterer is just as important as the way in which you serve it. Does your wedding have a more formal feel? Then a plated dinner may be best. Perhaps your fete is much more casual? Think about hosting a buffet. And if your wedding falls in between the two, there’s one serving style in particular that you should definitely consider: family style. Here are our top three reasons why family style will be most popular wedding food trend in 2014.
Photo by: Steve Steinhardt Photography on Inspired By This via Lover.ly
1. It's less expensive. Similar to buffets, family-style meals are typically less expensive than their plated counter parts. Why? Although a wait staff is still needed to serve your meal, a much smaller team is required overall. And the smaller size of the team is indicative of the time you'll need to allot for dinner; your guests will enjoy their meal at a quicker pace leaving plenty of room in your timeline for toasts, cake, and tons of dancing.
Photo by: Braedon Flynn Photography on Grey Likes Weddings via Lover.ly
2. It's casually elegant. One complaint about buffets is they are not quite as elegant as a formal dinner where each guest remains seated and is served individually. Family-style meals create a great middle ground -- guests are seated but served in a slightly more casual way, making this style perfect for almost any style of wedding (think: rustic, garden, or backyard).
Photo by: Scott Andrew Studio on Snippet and Ink via Lover.ly
3. It creates a warm atmosphere. One of the greatest hallmarks of holidays spent with family is listening to everyone talking around the table. The same feeling can be achieved at weddings with family-style meals. Whether your guests have known each other for years or have met moments before, passing plates creates a way to start the flow of comfortable conversation. (Decor hint: Add candles to your centerpieces to enhance the warm and elegant atmosphere!)
What are your tips and tricks for choosing your wedding menu and serving style?
The wedding menu that you and your partner design together with your caterer is just as important as the way in which you serve it. Does your wedding have a more formal feel? Then a plated dinner may be best. Perhaps your fete is much more casual? Think about hosting a buffet. And if your wedding falls in between the two, there’s one serving style in particular that you should definitely consider: family style. Here are our top three reasons why family style will be most popular wedding food trend in 2014.
Photo by: Steve Steinhardt Photography on Inspired By This via Lover.ly
1. It's less expensive. Similar to buffets, family-style meals are typically less expensive than their plated counter parts. Why? Although a wait staff is still needed to serve your meal, a much smaller team is required overall. And the smaller size of the team is indicative of the time you'll need to allot for dinner; your guests will enjoy their meal at a quicker pace leaving plenty of room in your timeline for toasts, cake, and tons of dancing.
Photo by: Braedon Flynn Photography on Grey Likes Weddings via Lover.ly
2. It's casually elegant. One complaint about buffets is they are not quite as elegant as a formal dinner where each guest remains seated and is served individually. Family-style meals create a great middle ground -- guests are seated but served in a slightly more casual way, making this style perfect for almost any style of wedding (think: rustic, garden, or backyard).
Photo by: Scott Andrew Studio on Snippet and Ink via Lover.ly
3. It creates a warm atmosphere. One of the greatest hallmarks of holidays spent with family is listening to everyone talking around the table. The same feeling can be achieved at weddings with family-style meals. Whether your guests have known each other for years or have met moments before, passing plates creates a way to start the flow of comfortable conversation. (Decor hint: Add candles to your centerpieces to enhance the warm and elegant atmosphere!)
What are your tips and tricks for choosing your wedding menu and serving style?
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Everything You Want To Say To Newly Engaged Friends But Can't
Don't get us wrong, when our friends get engaged, we're super happy for them.
But sometimes, certain couples go overboard with the whole engagement thing: the endless Facebook announcements, Instagrammed ring photos from every angle and with every filter, multiple bridal registries and many, many email updates. We get it, you're getting married.
We've compiled a list of our favorite someecards we wish we could send to such friends. Check them out below.
Note: We don't recommend actually sending these unless you never want to be invited to another wedding again.
But sometimes, certain couples go overboard with the whole engagement thing: the endless Facebook announcements, Instagrammed ring photos from every angle and with every filter, multiple bridal registries and many, many email updates. We get it, you're getting married.
We've compiled a list of our favorite someecards we wish we could send to such friends. Check them out below.
To send it go here!
To send it go here!
To send it go here!
To send it go here!
To send it go here!
To send it go here!
To send it go here!
To send it go here!
Note: We don't recommend actually sending these unless you never want to be invited to another wedding again.
