By Dr. Tina Tessina for YourTango.com
Do
men have biological clocks? Yes, they do! A man can feel the need to
grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires
those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is
a good one?
You'd think the positive signs in a date would be
obvious, but with all the excitement, the most important clues can be
overlooked. What makes for a great date may not be all you need for a
great relationship. This checklist of positive signs will help you
evaluate your date in a realistic manner. If you get a lot of these
positives, this date might be a good choice for marriage.
1. He has a sense of humor.
Of all the characteristics that are essential for getting through life
successfully, a sense of humor has to be in the top ten. But what kind
of a sense of humor? Joking at someone else's expense or at
inappropriate times can be counter-productive. Using jokes to avoid
taking responsibility for one's behavior can prevent you from solving
problems. The sense of humor you're looking for is the generous,
positive kind that makes life more fun and the tough times easier. If
your date can make your laugh and lift your spirits, that talent may
help you through some future difficulties.
2. He cares about what you think.
A date who asks for and listens to your opinions and feelings, and
better yet, who remembers what you say and builds on it later, and who
responds with empathy, sincerity and caring, is someone you can
communicate with and therefore, more likely to be able to form a
partnership with you. If you pay attention, you can quickly notice the
difference between the appearance of caring and real caring. If your
relationship is successful, you'll have years of talking to each other,
so find someone who is interesting to talk to and also interested in
talking with you. Your date should be able to carry on an interesting
discussion on a variety of topics and at least show interest, even if
the topic is not something he or she is familiar with.
3. He has an opinion, too.
A truly good conversationalist not only listens to your words and
responds, but also has ideas and opinions. Your date should not hesitate
to disagree with you or to bring up new topics.
4. He can work things out with you.
Recent research shows that the single most important quality that
determines whether a relationship can succeed is how well the couple
solves problems. If you have a disagreement while dating, welcome it as
an opportunity to see how well the two of work it out together. If you
can discuss your differences without becoming defensive or sarcastic,
and you can listen to each other and work together toward a solution,
your relationship has an excellent chance.
5. He accepts who you are.
A popular book asserts that "Men Are From Mars, And Women Are From
Venus," but I think it's more that we're all from different planets. You
and your date are unique, special and individual and need to be able to
understand each other and accept that you'll perceive things very
differently. Even when you and your date see things differently, you
should be able to agree to disagree. Remember, the security and comfort
in your relationship will come from where you and your partner are
similar, and the excitement and growth in the relationship are generated
from your differences. Different interests, opinions, attitudes and
ideas will keep things fresh and alive between you. If your date does
not become defensive or threatened by your differences, you can be
interesting to each other for a long time.
6. He is open.
The whole point of dating, as we said before, is to get to know each
other. While you both may want to take a little time before disclosing
too much, your date should be comfortable talking about him or herself,
and it should not be like pulling teeth to find out what you need to
know.
7. He has a life with a job, friends, family relationships and interests.
A date who has a full, interesting life you would want to be a part of
is more likely to be a healthy, balanced person. While it's important to
have some relaxation time and time to meditate or think, a life that
includes a good career, hobbies or sports, community service and friends
and/or family is reassurance that your date is motivated, focused and
able to relate.
8. He seeks out knowledge.
Your date doesn't need to be a member of Mensa or a mathematical genius,
but look for enough intelligence that you can respect and admire each
other. There are several kinds of intelligence, from school learning to
independent education by reading, working, traveling and life
experiences. An airhead who looks good and may be fun to play with will
not keep you interested for long. A date who is not interested in
learning and growing intellectually may not be able to keep up over the
long haul.
9. His modesty, humility and ego are balanced.
As you learn about this new person you're dating, observe his or her
character and personality for signs of a balanced sense of self. If your
date can keep success and failure in perspective, admit personal
shortcomings, and rise above disappointments and losses, he or she does
have a balanced personality and the kind of resilience that can travel
through life's highs and lows and keep it all in perspective.
10. He is emotionally mature.
While it's fun and charming to be able to be childlike when in a playful
mood, it's essential to be an adult whenever necessary. A date who is
responsible, self-regulating, emotionally responsive, motivated, and in
control of his or her impulses is capable of being a supportive, fully
participating partner -- no matter what joys and sorrows, successes and
failures you may face in the course of a lifetime.
11. He has a healthy history of relationships.
Of course, if both of you are dating again, your relationship history
will probably not be perfect. What counts is whether your date has
learned from the problems, confronted his or her own weaknesses and
shortcomings and grown as a result of the setbacks. If your date is
willing to talk openly about his or her past relationships and can
explain what went wrong and how he or she is learning to correct the
problems, the difficulties in past relationships can be an asset rather
than a liability. If your date expresses a willingness to seek
counseling in the event that problems should occur, score that in his or
her favor.
Remember, a smart date will be watching for the same
characteristics in you. To do well in a relationship, learn to be the
partner you would like to be.
This article originally appeared on YourTango.com
Friday, August 29, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Questions to Ask Your Cake Baker
What are my filling choices?
Why You Want to Know: Whether you're looking for a fruity filling, like strawberry or orange, or a heavier mocha or chocolate, the type of ingredients used will make all the difference in taste. Some common filling ingredients: fresh fruits or purees, mousses and buttercream.Do you work with fondant or buttercream?
Why You Want to Know: Some bakers specialize in fondant, while others prefer buttercream. Others do both. If you have your heart set on one type of frosting, confirm your baker can make it.Can you make sugar flowers? If I choose fresh blooms, will you work with my florist?
Why You Want to Know: Most bakers can create sugar flowers for your cake; others may be able to create custom motifs or sculptural elements. Ask to see pictures of past work to get a feel for what they specialize in. If you decide to garnish with fresh flowers, ask if your baker will partner with your florist (most will).How far in advance will my wedding cake be prepared?
Why You Want to Know: Many bakers have multiple clients, so don’t be surprised if the baker makes your cake three to four days prior to your wedding day. Of course the closer to your wedding date, the better, but a few days in advance shouldn’t impact the taste or look and may be necessary if you want a complicated design that takes more than a day to execute.Who will make my wedding cake?
Why You Want to Know: Some bakeries house a baker and a designer; at others, one person creates the entire cake from batter to sugar flowers. Find out how many people work with the baker and who exactly will be making your cake. The number of people involved should have no bearing on the quality of your cake, but you’ll want to talk design with the right person.How are your wedding cakes priced?
Why You Want to Know: It's common for wedding cakes to be priced by the slice. And the price will increase depending on the complexity of flavors and fillings you're after (and how detailed the design is). This goes for custom-designed cakes as well.Does the wedding cake price include the top tier?
Why You Want to Know: Depending on the baker, the top tier may or may not be included in the overall price. Find out the cake baker's policy, and whether having a top tier will increase the price. Our favorite bakers include the top tier—the one many couples save for their first anniversary—for free.Do you provide cake stands?
Why You Want to Know: Most bakers have a variety of cake stands you can rent for day-of use. Ask to see pictures to determine what will match best with your cake and décor.What is the delivery process?
Why You Want to Know: It’s best to have the wedding cake delivered to the reception. Some bakers will charge a delivery fee, so ask them from the start and factor it into your cake budget.Is the baker licensed by the state?
Why You Want to Know: It may seem like a silly question, but it's worth verifying that your baker is licensed by the state health department.Wednesday, August 27, 2014
20 Oh-So-Romantic Love Quotes
If you're anything like us, you can't resist a sweet (maybe even a
little sappy!) love quote. Read on for 20 romantic love quotes that are
sure to inspire, and then send your favorite to your sweetheart!
To Share or Not to Share? That Is the Engagement-Period Question
Photo: Getty Images
In the afterglow of an engagement or in the throes of wedding planning, it's simple — if not natural! — to take to social media, sharing every photo, every idea and even a countdown to your big day. But a recent study revealed that people dislike others who post too many details about their relationships, sappy messages to their partner and "relfies" (selfies taken with your significant other).
"Too often, we end up comparing ourselves to others and wondering if we are being shortchanged in life — especially when it comes to relationships," explains Shannon Belew, author of The Art of Social Selling. "The problem escalates when sharing becomes a seemingly endless stream of status updates and pictures from these super cute and happy couples. And as you would expect, newly-engaged couples and brides have a tendency to over share."
So what's a bride-to-be to do? While there's no magic formula to prevent over-sharing, these simple tips should keep you from losing Facebook friends.
— Make sure you're mixing up the number and type of posts you're putting online each day. "Balance out the number of all-about-you posts by sharing and commenting on posts from others," suggest Belew. "And share a greater amount of non-personal posts, like trending videos, interesting articles and news."
— Consider sharing milestone events when in comes to your engagement and wedding, such as your engagement party and bridal shower photos, and leave out the updates on your floral choices.
— "If you're worried you might be crossing the line of over-sharing, look to your friends for confirmation," Belew says. "Indicators that you're over-sharing often come directly from your friends' responses — or their lack of responses." So if the number of likes or positive comments on your posts start to dwindle, consider dialing it back a bit.
— Friends, family members and especially coworkers who see you post about your engagement and wedding but who are not involved in your planning or big day could be resentful of your updates. "You may also want to consider creating a specific list of your closest friends and post the majority of updates only to that list," Belew suggest. "Then, you can make sure that fewer posts go out to your 'public' list of Facebook contacts."
— But perhaps most importantly: "Don't feel bad about sharing exciting engagement and wedding news — it is your special day after all!" Belew says. "And your friends generally want to share in that happiness, but in measured amounts. Think about how you feel when friends over-share. If you can honestly admit that it's at a level where you would be irritated by the barrage of happiness, then your friends are probably over it, too."
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
The Story Behind the Shirt This Bride Wore for Her Wedding Is Too Sweet!
When we spotted this story on Offbeat Bride,
we all swooned a little bit. Because not only does the bride's
skirt-and-shirt combo look great on her...the fact that it's the shirt
she wore on her first date with her groom makes it even more special!
All photos by Bri MicDaniel Photography
Isn't she adorable?! Be sure to check out all the photos from the wedding; the bride and groom make the cutest couple and they looked like they had an awesome time on their wedding day!
7 Ways To Make Your Cocktail Hour More Fun
Instead of asking yourselves how to keep the kids occupied
during the cocktail hour or reception, think about your entire guest
list. Great food and drink is a must, but even better is to add a few
games or ice-breakers to get guests mixing and mingling before they sit
down to dinner. Creative ideas below!
Croquet On The Lawn
A Giant Jenga Set (You can actually buy one of these sets here!)
Cocktail Table Tic-Tac-Toe!
Customized Cornhole
Host A Mini Petting Zoo
An Oversized Chalkboard Word Search
A Caricature Artist
Croquet On The Lawn
A Giant Jenga Set (You can actually buy one of these sets here!)
Cocktail Table Tic-Tac-Toe!
Customized Cornhole
Host A Mini Petting Zoo
An Oversized Chalkboard Word Search
A Caricature Artist
Monday, August 25, 2014
Around the world in 66 weddings: British couple have now had traditional marriage ceremonies across the globe - but they're yet to legally tie the knot
A British couple have said 'I do' 66 times in a bid to find the perfect wedding location.
Hopeless
romantics Alex Pelling and Lisa Gant, from Manchester, have spent the
last three years travelling the globe and have been married 66 times
along the way.
The
couple have had a traditional wedding ceremony in every destination they have
visited on their journey - but are yet to legally tie the knot.
The Mancunian lovebirds at their most recent ceremony in Pakistan, where they're currently based
In 2011, after four years living together, Alex and Lisa made the brave decision to uproot their lives and follow their dream to relocate in Australia, beginning their location hunt.
Just one day after they said I do for the first time in a traditional ceremony in their hometown of Didsbury, they started their search for the very best place Down Under.
The couple
rented out their house and sold
their possessions to get funding for their trip. Lisa quit her job as a retail manager for
Marks and Spencer while Alex sold his car body repair business.
Their aim was to find the most exceptional and unique wedding locations possible, blogging about their experiences so others could better chose where to tie the knot themselves.
During their third wedding in Michigan in 2011, near the beginning of their search
Shortly after this first ceremony in Didsbury, the pair quit their jobs for a trip around the world
A vintage-style English wedding that was held in
Didsbury just before the couple started their journey - they flew to
Canada the very next day
Alex
said: 'Lisa and I are crazy romantics - we had looked at getting
married in the UK but found that most things on offer were very
conventional and we really are not.
'So we thought about looking for unusual places to get married in each country as we travelled around.
'We
thought we would share our experiences via a blog for those out-of-the-box thinkers like ourselves that didn't fancy the usual
wedding.
The couple getting hitched on an Air Tahiti flight on their incredible journey
Hilton Waikaloa Village in Hawaii during one of their weddings - but they're yet to legally marry
Taking part in a traditional Peruvian wedding on their 21st Big Day in Peru in June 2012
'Then,
a bottle of wine or two later, we decided it would be a good idea to
have a ceremony everywhere we went so we could experience them all first
hand.
'Our
friends and family thought we were crazy, but once we explained the
idea they loved it - as long as we didn't get legally married by
accident.
'The
point of our journey is to experience the way other cultures celebrate
marriage. It is one ritual that the whole world has in common - unity.'
Guatemala, where hopeless romantics Alex Pelling and Lisa Gant, from Manchester, got 'married'
The couple after
their traditional Guatemalan wedding which took place on the terrace of a
hotel with stunning views of the three volcanoes. The Xaman lit a fire
of cigars, rose petals and candles and made offerings to the Gods and
held the ceremony in Mayan
The beautiful Villa de Leyva was the location
for this traditional Colombian farmer style wedding. Lisa arrived at on a
donkey and they had a sheep as a guest 'as it is tradition'
After a traditional Mayan service in Quintana Roo, Mexico, the couple had an underwater photography session
A map of Alex and Lisa's extrodinary journey around the globe
Their blog has had millions of views, and their Facebook page has more than 47,000 followers, as they experience the wonderful variety of cultures and traditions around the world.
Introducing themselves on their blog the couple say: 'We are Lisa and Alex, a couple in love, who, on failing to find the answer to the all important question; ‘Where can we get married’, decided to have a wedding ceremony in every country we visit in search of the perfect place to tie the knot!
‘On an adventure of a lifetime, we are going to drive (and ship) around the globe in our 27-year-old camper van Peggy exchanging vows in the most unusual and unique wedding locations we can find.
‘Not wanting to drag a "White wedding" around the World, we decided to try our hardest to embrace the culture and local traditions of each place we visit.
‘We want to experience the difference in every ceremony and find out what it is that makes the bringing of two people together, such a worldwide tradition, and of course let YOU know!’
A million-dollar yacht, a canoe chapel and, you guessed it... a wedding! Lisa and Alex's Bora Bora nuptials
This wedding was held at Mitad del Mundo (the
middle of the world) in Ecuador, where artist Cristobal Ortega held the
ceremony. The highlight, say the couple, was being blessed with smoke by
the entire congregation
A Texan ranch wedding held in a stunning
location Las Brisas Farm. The entire wedding was made completely from
reclaimed materials and covered in fairy lights. The couple clambered on
hay bales and Alex even lassoed his bride!
A truly traditional Tahitian tying of the knot! The wedding took place in a Tiki village on the island of Moorea
The wedding in Utila, Honduras, took place at a
magical wonderland all created by one man. Glass marbles, coloured
stones and pottery, even cutlery adorns every surface making the place
sparkle in the amazing sunlight
A wedding in Portugal which included a tour of
Lisbon by tram, motorbike and sidecar. The wedding was held on the
highest point in Lisbon overlooking the stunning city
The couple have experienced a vast range of unorthodox ceremonies in more than 30 countries, including a vampire wedding in LA.
They have also enjoyed their 'big day' in destinations most people can only dream about, such as Las Vegas, New York, Hawaii, Marrakech and Bora Bora.
They've tied the knot in an ancient Pagan ritual in Lithuania, and even had a topless Embera tribe wedding in Embera, Panama where they were painted with traditional tribal tattoo designs and beads.
Their experiences have been supported by local experts including shamans, Zulu chiefs in South Africa, pastors, vicars, rabbis and even a Voodoo priestess.
And even got married 30,000 feet above ground on board a flight to Tahiti.
The couple's topless Embera tribe wedding in Embera, Panam,a saw them adorned with ink and traditional beads
The incredible ceremony at the 'Centre of the World' in Quito, Ecuador
Lisa throws her bouquet after the couple's Ecuadorian nuptials
The wedding in the Toledo Villages of Belize was
conducted with the help of the TEA Belize, a volunteer organisation who
helps the local villagers see some of the benefits and profits of
eco-tourism
After the wedding Seattle, which took place in the Pike Place Market. Alex and Lisa are the second couple to marry at the market
At the Chappelle St Agnes Vineyard in Quebec.
'We stumbled upon the amazing European-inspired vineyard, complete with
chapel and heart shaped lake, while on a wine tour'
Lisa said: 'We are together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and live in a 6 feet by 16 feet space in the camper van.
'And we take it turns to make each other breakfast in bed every day.
'If there is anything that can make a couple sure that they are meant to be together it is surviving this trip without a single argument.
'But we still get nervous before every single ceremony.'
Lisa and Alex's pagan wedding in Lithuania
Their Turkish wedding was in two parts: first,
the couple took part in a A henna ceremony before marrying on a boat
against a backdrop of ancient tombs
The El Salvador wedding took place at sunset on the beach
Wedding on horseback! The couple married in
Banff, Alberta, Canada at Warner's stables. It was Lisa's first ever
time on a horse and Alex wore a cowboy outfit on their big day
The wedding in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica was
held in crashed plane with a mysterious history overlooking the coast of
the beautiful country
After their wedding in Chile. The couple wore
typical huasa and huaso for the wedding in the small fishing village
Horcon. People gathered around to wish them well after the small
intimate ceremony
Each wedding, along with its preparation is captured by a photographer, who also shares their experience on the couple's website.
Their first wedding was a traditional English ceremony in Manchester, attended by 40 of their closest friends.
Lisa chose a stunning cream Charlotte Balbier gown, which she has worn at 14 of her subsequent weddings (including one underwater!), and carried a bouquet of peonies, sweet Williams, lavender, mint and vintage English rosebuds for her dream ceremony.
‘I felt like a very spoilt princess!’ Lisa says on her blog. ‘About 30-40 of our family and friends sat there to see our first wedding!'
And the loved-up pair have no plans to stop until they find their dream spot.
Pictured in Ireland last April on their 41st wedding, a Celtic ceremony on the beach of Doonbeg Lodge
