Don't pick a bad date.
Of course you could pick Super Bowl Sunday for your wedding, but don't be surprised if some of the groomsmen look a little, um, distracted during the ceremony. Trust us, your guests will be way happier if you avoid major holidays or national events where they might already have plans. And double-check your community calendar just to make sure you won't be competing with any major events, like a homecoming parade or city festival.
While his fantasy football drinking buddies might procrastinate, you can bet that your great aunt is going to start searching for a gift the moment you announce your engagement. Start your registry early, using a site like GiftRegistry360.com to stay organized, and add to it over time (GiftRegistry360.com lets you store all of your registries in one convenient list that's easy for you and your guests to check up on). This way, your guests will have plenty of options (and opportunities) to pick the right gift for you.
Create (and maintain!) your wedding website.
Just like you set up your registry, you should create a wedding website early on. Post the information from your invitations, plus anything extra, like hotel info, things to do, registry info, what to pack (if it’s a destination wedding) and even details about the bridal party. Once you have it set up, the key is to keep it updated. (If your ceremony time changes, make sure you let your guests know right away.)
Don't make them travel too far.
Remember: It's a wedding, not a marathon. If you're holding the ceremony at a place of worship and the reception at a separate venue, keep the driving distance between the two locations limited (15 - 20 minutes max). If you're trying to simplify, or have lots of out-of-towners who may not have cars, holding the ceremony and reception at the same venue is a great choice.
Hire a coordinator.
Hiring a day-of coordinator who can field questions from friends and family is a great way to save both your and your guests' sanity. Even if you don't hire someone, pick a go-to person for all guests-related issues (your mom, the maid of honor or a very organized family friend).
Consider first look photos.
It should come as no surprise, but your guests came to see you. As hosts, you should spend as much time with your guests as possible, meaning you should keep couple photo time to a minimum. Doing first look photos (taking your photos together before the ceremony) means you'll have all of the cocktail hour and reception to enjoy the time with your guests. If you really have to stick to tradition, ask that your photographer limit the shot list so you still have a chance to mingle with your guests.
Start the ceremony on time.
And write the actual start time on your invitation. Trust that your guests will show up on time to your wedding and that you don't need to write 4:30 p.m. on the invitation when you're really planning to start at 5 p.m. Sure, there might be stragglers, but sticking to your time frame will keep prompt guests happy.
Pass on the receiving line.
Thank each guest for coming during the reception (table by table or as a toast) and don't hold up the party by having a receiving line. Trust us, your guests will appreciate not having to wait around after the ceremony.
Do group photos first.
Give your photographer a detailed list of the posed family and friends shots you'd like and start with the biggest groups first. That way, your second cousin once removed who only needs to be in one posed shot is free to mingle as soon as possible.
Give them a list of activities for down time.
If you have lots of out-of-towners flying in for the wedding day, make sure they have plenty of things to do during any down time. This doesn't mean you need to organize big parties, but it does mean you should provide them with a list of location attractions and within-walking-distance suggestions whenever possible. Include the info in their welcome bags or simply add it to your wedding website.
Don't ask them to shell out at the wedding.
Asking your guests to shell out at the wedding, whether it's paying for parking or having a cash bar, is a big don't. All ceremony and reception costs should be covered. Think of it this way: When was the last time you were invited to a formal party and then asked to pay the hostess once you got there? If the bar is breaking your budget, scale back by not serving liquor or hosting the wedding earlier in the day (when guests are likely to drink less).
Limit the lag time.
We're guessing your invitation didn't say "Reception to Follow... at Some Point," so try keep the timeline tight. That means no more than two hours between the ceremony and the reception. Or, if you simply must get married at 11 a.m. because that's the only time your church can accommodate and the venue won't let you in until 4 p.m., plan something for guests to do in the meantime, like an afternoon boat cruise or a short trolley tour of your hometown.
Say thank-you.
This might sound difficult if you've got a guest list of 250-plus people, but it's so important. Taking the time to walk from table to table during the reception and thank each person for coming will really make your guests feel special. They'll understand if you're brief -- but not if you don't say hi all night long. Even if that just won't work with the itinerary, give a quick thank-you over the mike.
Seat them with people they know.
Repeat after us: This is not time to play matchmaker and pair cute single friends with people they don't know. Seat your guests with their friends to keep conversation flowing all night. (And if you're really intent on hooking some people up, introduce them another night after the wedding).
Keep the music low during the cocktail hour and dinner.
While your friends can't wait to hit the dance floor, older guests might really be looking forward to catching up. Compromise by keeping the music low during your cocktail hour and dinner so people can talk, and then cranking up the volume (and the tempo) later in the evening. Seat the elderly away from the dance floor.
Provide enough seating.
We think it's great that you went with a nontraditional cocktail-style reception with a just a few high tables and scattered low couches -- but your 75-year-old grandparents might not. Make sure you've got enough seating to comfortably accommodate everyone who will want to sit (and don't forget to put a few comfy chairs near the dance floor so they can still catch all the action!)
Keep centerpieces conversation-friendly.
"What's that?! I couldn't hear (or see) you over this giant tree in the table!" There's a comment you don't want to overhear. Keeping your centerpieces below eye level means your guests will have an easier time chatting and seeing you during the first dance. If you really want the height, just make sure they're skinny enough so that people can easily talk around them (candelabras or thin glass vases are perfect).
Skip any traditions you don't like.
If you think it's corny to have a single guy slide a garter on the leg of one of your bridesmaids, then chances are your friends do too. Your guests will likely appreciate not having their solo status on display for all to watch; and what's more, if you don't identify with a particular tradition, there's no reason you should feel obligated to do it.
Play danceable music.
That indie band that no one's ever heard of might not be the best choice for your reception -- even if it's your favorite. We're not saying you're limited to Etta James and Stevie Wonder, but playing crowd-pleasing danceable songs will keep your guests laughing and entertained. Give the DJ a list of songs you'd love to hear (and also a do-not-play list) weeks before the wedding.
Keep your toasts and dances brief.
Maybe your maid of honor has been your BFF since third grade -- but that doesn't mean everyone at your wedding needs to hear the last 20-plus years of friendship recounted. Tell your speakers (typically, the maid of honor, best man and father of the bride) to keep it short -- and give them a time limit (under five minutes). Try something like, "We really don't want you to stress about writing a big speech, so less than five minutes would be great." You could also add that the rehearsal dinner is the time for longer speeches and stories.
Find something for the kids to do.
Inquire about hiring a babysitter who can keep kids close by at the hotel, or simply designate a table with some crafts to keep them busy. You might even consider suggesting babysitters to all of the parents and that everyone split the cost (this is the one time it's okay to ask your guests to pay together). Just remember, not having your first dance ruined by a couple of toddlers is all about making sure they're entertained as well.
Serve a stellar menu.
It's no secret that guests want a great meal when they come to a wedding. Plan your menu carefully, asking for any food allergies or dietary requirements ahead of time. Stick to something that's seasonal and just a little on the light side so guests aren't too weighed down to dance.
Book a block of rooms at a hotel.
Reserving a block of rooms at a hotel usually means a discount for your guests -- a great way to show you've thought about them. If you're really looking to please your guests, reserve rooms at two different hotels in different price ranges so they have a choice of where to stay. And don't forget to add the information to your wedding website.
Make transportation easy.
Having a plan to get your guests to and from the reception safely is a great way to let them know you care (this is especially true if you picked that awesome wedding venue that's 25 miles away from the closest hotel). If busing guests in and out simply isn't in the budget, make sure transportation is still readily accessible. It's as simple as posting a taxi phone number in a cute frame near the door. Better yet, give your guests options on your wedding website ahead of time -- providing them with local car rental info or taxi suggestions.
Give meaningful favors or none at all.
Your guests don't need another random knick-knack to clutter up their shelves. Give them favors they'll actually use and enjoy, like a small box of chocolates, sunglasses for an outdoor wedding, flip-flops to keep them comfy or even pashminas for a winter wedding. They'll be glad to get something thoughtful and you won't see anything left behind on the tables at the end of the night.
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