Family Tables: Often, the parents of the bride and groom sit opposite each other at a large family table, with grandparents, the officiant, and other close friends. An alternative is to have the bride and groom's parents "host" their own tables, consisting of their family members and close friends. In the case of divorced parents, each parent may also host his or her own table, smoothly diffusing any awkwardness or discomfort.
Mix or Match: As for the rest of your guests, should you put friends together or seat them with "new" people? The answer is a bit of both. While it is a great idea to mix in a few new faces at each table, remember that people are most comfortable when they know some of their dinner companions. Be considerate. Not even your most gregarious friends will want to sit at a table full of complete strangers, so put acquaintances together when you can. If you have guests who don't know anyone, seat them near guests with similar interests. If you have a group of friends that cannot fit at one table, split them down the middle, and fill in each table with other guests. Whatever you do, don't leave one of the gang out.
If you have no idea what to do with your parents' friends, let your mother and mother-in-law arrange those tables. They will be thrilled to be involved, and this may keep them from trying to control of the rest of your seating plan.
Singles vs. Couples
If you've been dying to fix your old roommate up with your fiancé's cousin, you might take this opportunity to discreetly seat them next to each other. Resist the urge, however, to create a separate "singles" table, though, as this might embarrass your guests. By the same token, don't seat your unmarried friend at a table full of gushing newlyweds. A little sensitivity and some good old common sense are the best guides.
Seating Children
If you have several children at your wedding, seat them together at a separate kids' table. If your flowergirl and ringbearer are the only children present, seat them with their parents.
Place Cards, Escort Cards or Seating Chart?
Now that you've figured out where to put everyone, all you have to do is decide how to guide them to their seats.
Place Cards: These tented cards can be used alone or with escort cards. Displayed near the entrance of the reception in alphabetical order, they usually include the guest's name and table number. Once at the table, guests usually select their own seats.
Escort Cards: Used in the most formal seating plans, escort cards usually contain the guest's name on the outer envelope, and their table number on the card inside. Place cards await guests at each table, designating their seats.
The Seating Chart: Usually displayed alphabetically in a pretty frame near the entrance of the reception, seating charts are lists of guests' names with their designated tables. Additional place cards may be used at each table to designate assigned seats, if you wish.
Nametags: This is a wedding, not a convention, so skip the nametags, as irresistible as they might be. Your guests are capable of making any introductions you haven't made previously.
Note: Guests should never alter seating arrangements or "switch seats" at a wedding reception, but it is perfectly acceptable to mingle at different tables after dinner.
Before creating your seating plan, it is a good idea to obtain the floor plan and make several copies. This way, you can experiment with various different arrangements before making your final decision. When in doubt, trust your instincts. And no matter how perfect your final seating plan seems, you will undoubtedly receive at least one last minute phone call begging you to change something to make a guest (read: your mother) happy. Try to be accommodating, but don't let it make you crazy. Chances are, after the dinner, everyone will want to get up and mingle anyway.
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