Peeing While Wearing the Dress

 

Because this seems to be a topic that has several people hitting the panic button, here is how to pee while wearing your wedding dress:
On arrival at your venue

• Open the door of the ladies' room and look in. If the floor is not clean, call the venue staff and ask to have it cleaned.
  
• If the floor is clean, walk into the ladies' room and open the door of the handicapped stall. If the floor of the handicapped stall is not clean, call the venue staff and ask to have it cleaned.

This ensures that you will not later get the train/back of the dress dirty just by having it touch the floor.
When you need to go

• Walk into the handicapped stall. Remove (don't just pull down) your underpants.
  
• Facing the toilet, pull up the front of your dress to your waist.
  
• Walk straight forward, so you are straddling the toilet, and sit down that way. The train/back of your dress will now be away from the toilet, so you won't get them wet or dirty.
  
• Lean forward before peeing. That way, even if you drop the front of the dress onto the seat, you will not pee in its direction.

Special tips for hoop skirts/crinolines

• When lifting your skirt, make sure that you grab all of the hoops together. this can be done by reaching under the bottom flounce and pulling straight up. If you are wearing an under-petticoat, don't forget to grab it too. This can be, and has been, a very bad thing to forget.
  
• Once you have a good handle on the hoops, swing the whole thing to the rear, as if you are preparing to hula-hoop with your dress. This will move the whole contraption behind you and out of the 'danger zone'. It will also slightly lift a shorter train off the floor which is a plus.
  
• When you are done, drop the hoop straight to the floor and give a little circular hip-shimmy. This will help you to get your dress hem back over the bottom hoop. It is always a good idea to have a friend do a 360 of the hem to make sure nothing is showing that shouldn't be.

And in case no one has told you this yet, never ever under any circumstances step straight backward while in a hoop. You will step on it, and you will fall over, and this will give a free show to anyone standing in front of you. Not directly related, but one of the top tips for wearing a hoop.
You may now resume your panic about all the other topics for your wedding day.