How Comfortable Are You Around Your Spouse?

by Sheree Adams 



Over a decade of being with my husband and he and I have slowly grown more comfortable when it comes to doing certain things around one another. You know how it is, in the beginning of every relationship, there is always that period of extreme courtesy and concern for what the other person may think. I remembered when my husband and I were dating, he asked why he never saw any of my feminine products. I told him I was raised to handle these things privately and discreetly and he probably never will see them. He was somewhat in shock. Looking back, I also recall that it took years for him to see me without makeup – even after we were married. Just felt naked without my under-eye concealer. I still do!


I’ve always found it interesting how comfort levels vary from one couple to another. I’m not talking about a new couple that just started dating and still trying to impress one another. I’m referring to how comfortable a husband is around his wife and vice versa. It’s always amusing, yet surprising, what some people get all worked up about and will not do in front of one another. One of my friends refuses to brush her teeth in front of her husband – to whom she’s been married for 12 years. She finds it to be an incredibly gross and personal experience. (Unbelievable!) Another one of my friends refuses to ‘burp’ around her husband. (Really? Am I THAT much of an ogre!?) And then there’s my really close friend who will, under no circumstances, wear hair rollers, a wrap or a scarf on her head at night and they have been married for 17 years!! (Amazing!) And then there’s my sweet little mom who feels like no man should ever know your weight. (Give me a break Mom, really?) Oh well…



While I do believe there are always exceptions to the rules, I believe there are very few things that should be off-limits, especially when you’re married. I feel that the person you are married to (or intending to marry) should feel comfortable around you doing, saying or seeing just about anything. Side note to the LADIES: I believe that at times a wife should toss the sweats and over-sized college t-shirts to the side and put on nice, fashionable, lounge wear, sexy slipper and spritz a little of your signature fragrance behind your ear (or wherever he’s sure to smell it). I guarantee, that while he will insist it’s not NECESSARY, he will appreciate it.



Over ten years with my honey, and besides the fact he is completely and utterly grossed out by noise-making bodily functions from himself and others, I feel very comfortable in my skin around him. Hey, I’m not pressing the gas issue AT ALL. He may know something I don’t know, so I’m grateful for his discretion. Some might say I’m a lucky girl!


Do you have anything that is an absolute “no-can-do” when it comes to your mate?