The David Tutera Drinking Game

In honor of David Tutera's Birthday today... I thought this was a great post.

Bachelorette parties take many forms these days. The maid of honor should take charge and be able to plan an exceptional and memorable evening for bridesmaids and other guests to celebrate the bride-to-be on this joyous and traditional send-off into wedded bliss. A bachelorette party may be a quiet, reserved gathering of close friends and family sharing stories and exchanging ideas about marriage, love and prosperity. It may also be a sassy alcoholic endurance program with a scorched earth policy for high-spirited ladies who like to party like it's sundown on the rim of Hell; leaving behind the debris of feather boas, broken tiaras and penis thermoses.


If your bachelorette party group leans more toward Zelda Fitzgerald than Carrie Nation and your bride-to-be is more "Samantha Jones" than "Bridget Jones," then undoubtedly you will want to partake in the most cutting edge night of wilding since Lindsay Lohan got her Scram bracelet. Male strippers, novelty gifts, and marathon bar crawls are all good fun; but nothing gets a party started like drinking with David Tutera!


Fans of the debonair host of "My Fair Wedding" know that this man continuously presents the most entertaining bridal-themed reality show on television. On the show, this wedding planner to the stars meets with ordinary women to help them realize the wedding of their dreams. He gets to have a say in planning; but he always gets great results. He is warm, charming, funny and seems to genuinely care about the brides and their stories. The show ran for four seasons before changing its title ("David Tutera Unveiled"); and in March of 2013 it was announced that a fifth season is underway, but will feature more than just weddings. However disappointing this may be for prospective brides, thanks to Netflix, the first three seasons of "My Fair Wedding" (or as his fans call it, "David Tutera Classic") are available for endless viewing.


The show abounds with David's mannerisms and recurring themes. If your bachelorette party starts in someone's home and you want to get the party started off right, The David Tutera Drinking Game is a wonderful way to begin a debauched evening while maintaining the theme of marriage. To play the game, simply pull up any episode of "My Fair Wedding" and start pouring shots. The rules are below and may be amended to suit your particular group.


WARNING: Participating in this game may raise your blood alcohol content well above the legal limit. Always use a designated driver and please drink responsibly.


When David shows up at the home of the bride-to-be in a flashy shirt: Drink

If the bride has favors and decorations that blend more than three themes: Drink

When David sees the wedding favors, the bridal dress or bridesmaids dresses: Drink

When David says, "Look at you!": Drink

When David explains that he really, really, really doesn't like cake toppers: Drink

When David sees something he clearly doesn't like and says, "Okay...": Drink

When David shows up in segment two in a blazer/jacket, open shirt and no tie (new outfit): Drink

If David is flashing his fancy/expensive watch: Drink

When women flip out that their Mom, sister, friend is "suddenly" at the dress fitting: Drink

When the bride or one of the bridesmaids is top-heavy or demonstrates concern about being top-heavy in a dress that David picks out: Drink

If David looks agitated but manages to keep it together while you want to scratch the bride's eyes out: Drink

If you wish you could be at the tasting for the caterer or cake designer: Drink

If David adds alcohol (special drink/wedding cocktail/wine/sangria): Drink

When David has her try on dresses and mentions one of them has an "EM-peer" waist: Drink.

If David lets the bride keep her own dress that she picked out (rarely): Drink.

If Swarovski figures into the wedding in any way: Drink

If David changes a wedding dress AND gets the bride something to wear at the reception: Drink (and then high-five everyone)

When David shows up in segment three in a new outfit: Drink

If David keeps the bride's sketchy venue for the ceremony and reception, but turns it into something worthy of an Architectural Digest centerfold: Drink

If David moves the wedding to a venue so spectacular you start to cry and seethe with jealousy: Drink

If David looks uncomfortable with the idea of having a cash bar (he will): Drink

If the couple thank David at the wedding reception: Drink

If you wish David Tutera would do for your wedding what he did for all those women: definitely drink!

Whether or not you're still standing after this game ends doesn't matter. Remember what David always says, "Have fun!" This is a special night for you to cut loose before you start your new life. Best wishes and congratulations!