10 Things To Remember When You’re At The Altar

1. Thank whoever’s giving you away. Presumably, you’ve asked this person (or people) to give you away because you have some sort of special connection. Honor that relationship by making sure to thank them. A quick message whispered in their ear and a kiss on the cheek will do perfectly.


2. The words to your prayers. Whether it’s the Lord’s Prayer, the Sheva Berakhot or some other wedding reading that your minister, priest or rabbi will be leading the congregation in, make sure you know the words! It’s not like when you’re sitting in a row and can simply mumble the words–all eyes will be on you and what you’re saying. Take some time to memorize the readings ahead of time.

3. Smile. It might not feel natural to smile while you’re just standing there listening to someone else talk, but remember all eyes are on you. Just like you practice saying your own piece, you may want to practice listening to everyone else’s. Obviously you can’t really run through this with your partner, but try a bridesmaid. This is most important if you’re one of those people whose natural expression looks a bit unhappy or extremely serious.

 

 

4. Look at whoever is doing readings. First, it’s respectful. It’ll also help you keep you present and focused on what’s going on in the ceremony, since it’s pretty easy for your mind to get swept up in other things. And finally, the people doing the readings are probably just as nervous (if not more) than. Actively paying attention will give them a great vote of confidence.

 

 

5. Have good posture. Don’t get too caught up in thinking about this, but do remember that not only is everyone looking at you, but the camera is, too. Your stance at the altar will be captured forever in photographs. Make sure it’s a good one! This is something else to practice ahead of time–no slouching allowed.

 

 

6. Use a tissue. If you’re crying, that is. We hope you chose waterproof mascara for the occasion, but even so, it’s best to err on the side of safety. No bride wants makeup running down her face. If you don’t have anywhere on your dress to keep a tissue handy, ask your maid of honor to hold one for you. Just reach to her during the ceremony if you have the need.

 

 

7. Ask your bridesmaid for help with your train and veil. If your train or veil get crinkled or otherwise messed up at any time during the ceremony, appoint a bridesmaid to adjust or straighten either one out. She should also make sure the train is fanned out when you initially stop on the altar. If it’s an outdoor wedding with wind, ask her to hold your veil in place, too.

 

 

8. Thank the ring bearer. Just like whoever gave you away, you presumably have a relationship with the ring bearer. Make him feel special (and create a great photo opp) by thanking him or, even better, giving him a little kiss on the cheek or forehead

 

 

9. Speak loud and clear. Don’t mumble! We’ll say it again–don’t mumble! This one’s really important. You want the guests and, most importantly, your partner to be able to understand what you’re saying. Speak each word loudly, slowly and clearly so that everyone (even older guests) can make out every word. This is also important in making sure the ceremony is easy to understand in the video.

 

 

10. Why you are marrying this person. This, perhaps, is most important of all. We’ve given you a lot to think about, and as we already mentioned, you probably will have another thought (or two hundred others) running through your mind while you’re at the altar. All those things pale in comparison to this one. No matter what you do right or wrong before, during and after the ceremony, as long as you’re coming from a place of true love and commitment when you say each word… well, that’s just about as perfect as you can get.