What Does It Really Mean to Have Your Spouse’s Back?

One of the joys of being married, is that you have someone (your spouse) that has your back. But, unfortunately I see many couples that don’t truly understand what it means to have their spouse’s back. Over the years, I have truly come to realize that my husband has my back. But, I’ve found that him having my back didn’t exactly mean what I thought it would.


Here are 5 characteristics of a spouse that truly “has your back.”

1. Honest

Having your back doesn’t mean that your spouse has to agree with everything you do. When your spouse has your back, they will love you enough to tell you the truth, even if it hurts. In the dvd New Year New Marriage, relationship coaches Reggie and Peachie Williams say that one of the biggest problems in marriages today is that people assume that their spouse should see every situation the way that they see it. But Reggie and Peachie shared that there is great value in seeing things differently.

”Instead of fighting about the different perspectives, understand the two together provide an even greater perspective.”

2. Protective

Having your back does mean that your spouse will not allow your friends, family, or even your own mother to disrespect you. When your spouse has your back, it means they will defend you and will not allow others to harm you.

3. Supportive

Having your back does mean that your spouse will support you, even if they don’t understand you. You many have certain things that you are passionate about that your spouse just doesn’t understand or like. But when your spouse has your back, they will support you in reaching your goals even if they understand them.

4. Team Player

Having your back doesn’t mean that you will not have to compromise. Not getting 100% of what you want at the exact time that you want it, doesn’t mean your spouse doesn’t have your back. Relationships are about give and take. And when you have each other’s back, you will work together as a team to make things happen.

5. Trustworthy

Having your back does mean that you can depend on your spouse. If your spouse is not dependable and can’t be trusted, you’ll feel more like you are watching your own back than like your back is being watched. A person that has your back is right behind you and is there to protect you and cover you. You have to be able to trust that the person that has your back is not going to harm you.
When spouses have each other’s back, it means that they can depend on each other and that they are are looking out for each other. There is nothing more comforting than knowing that your spouse has you covered. Reggie and Peachie said that they have each other’s back, which gives each a point of reference the other can’t see. Because they have each other’s back, they are able to trust one another even further.