Why Wedding Planning Is Really Just Marriage Practice

Photo: David Kepner Photography

 

Think planning your wedding is just about one day? Think again! The way you handle planning your big day can be a major precursor to what your married life will be like. It's similar to a startup company — the first thing you put together are the Standard Operating Procedures. Those procedures become "how we get things done around here." Here are the SOPs you will unconsciously develop while engaged, and put into effect for years to come as husband and wife.


Decisions don't get made until they are unanimous.
Talk decisions out until you find a point of agreement or determine something really matters to one of you and not as much to the other. So at your wedding, perhaps your fiancé is set on hiring a DJ you're not thrilled about, but you let him have his way since he's the music lover. Compromise doesn't magically disappear after you say "I do" — in fact you'll have to do it more often.


You'll always be a united front.
We all know that everyone has an opinion on what to do and how best to do it when you are planning a wedding. Of course your friends and family are trying to help while chiming in about who should make the guest list, but ultimately, it only matters what you and your soon-to-be-husband want. The same goes for once your Mr. and Mrs.: Whether it's an invitation to a party or pressure from your mom to have kids, you'll have to talk it over privately, and then share the decision with your loved ones.


Decide what matters most then make all decisions based on that.
Most couples decide early on that they want their wedding to be a reflection of themselves and to have their personalities woven in to all the aspects of the event. Once you're settled into married life this becomes more important. You'll have to value the time you spend together and give each other space to pursue your own passions. Maybe you love writing, while your husband is a movie nerd — make decisions on how you spend evenings and weekends based on the things you love the most.