How to Invite a B-List Guest To Your Wedding Without Being Rude

By: Amy Levin-Epstein

 

Without a doubt, narrowing down your guest list is one of the most stressful situations you’ll deal with while wedding planning. If you haven’t already done it, trust us—it can be a painful process for couples as well as their families (in some cases, especially the families). And when you, your fiancé, and your fams can’t find room to budge another inch, a B-list can seem like a pretty nice solution. The big risk? Having anyone find out that they’re on the B-list (yikes!). Here’s how to avoid this invitation faux pas and the resulting hurt feelings—while adding a couple more friends and family to your fete.

Put your b-list together early
Ideally, you should have your list of later additions ready to go at the same time as you put together the rest of your list. Decide who will be invited next and consider groupings (for instance, if you are inviting one friend do you have to invite two others, or if you invite one co-worker do you have to invite the whole office). Then adjust your b-list plan accordingly.

Order extra invitations
If you think you might be sending a second set of invitations, prepare for it ahead of time. Not only will it help make the process smoother, it’ll save you some serious cash since buying invitations in small batches is much more expensive than ordering them in a single shipment.

Don’t wait too long
As soon as you have space on your list, starting sending the B-list invites. This is particularly important if guests are traveling, since they’ll need time to book their plane tickets and hotel rooms. But it will also prevent knowledge of the b-list from becoming public. (In other words, your gossipy Aunt Sally probably hasn’t asked all the cousins if they’ve been invited just yet.)

Remember your RSVP date
One of the dangers of a B-list is sending invitations out with a too-tight RSVP date for your new additions. To avoid this, considering sending out your first set of invitations a little earlier (instead of 6 to 8 weeks before the date, aim for 10 weeks). If this is impossible, consider ordering some invitations with a later response date.