Is Your Maid of Honor Obligated to Help With Wedding Planning?

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Being a maid of honor comes with a lot of, well, honor, as well as a lot of responsibility. She'll be there for all of the major pre-wedding events (and probably even plan some of them), keep the rest of the bridesmaids organized and on-time the morning of your wedding, and hold your bouquet during the ceremony. But should wedding planning be added to her to-do list? Our experts let you know.
Most brides would love having someone other than the groom (or her mom), who really gets their style and vision and is a tried-and-true source for honest feedback, to bounce wedding ideas off of during the planning process. But what that entails for each bride can vary, from a maid of honor who is happy to look at a few texts or websites and give the invitation one more once-over before it goes to print, to one who is active in the joint Pinterest board and shows up for all of the important appointments.


While your MOH is not required to help you with the actual planning, think about what you might want or need her help with, and let her know what you're hoping for when you ask her to stand by your side. She may be thrilled to help with anything and everything, or may have a huge project coming up at work that will limit how much she can get involved. Take a little time to get on the same page, and you'll avoid extra stress down the line. If you have a long-distance maid of honor, this could also impact how involved she can get, but just because she's less available as you decide on flowers or linens doesn't mean she can't get the MOH title.

No matter how much your MOH helps with planning your wedding, she'll still need to step up on the day-of to help you out, whether she's keeping track of the timeline, asking for a few moments of privacy when you need a breather, helping you slip on your garter and shoes, making sure you've eaten, or fielding vendor phone calls if you don't have a planner.