23 Ways to Keep The Butterflies in Your Marriage

Being married does not mean that you have to live a life without butterflies because you can have them with your spouse. Check out 23 ways that will help you keep the butterflies or get them back.

#1. Flirt with each other

Flirt with each other using frisky smiles, sassy talk, and playful glances and touches. These are the same tricks you used when you were first dating.

#2. Brush up on your French kissing.

That's right I said it: the tongue!! There is nothing more passionate than a long kiss with the one you love. Make it a habit to have a prolonged kiss with your spouse each day (ie – bust the slob) And yes, we still do that!

#3. Send each other sext messages

Send your spouse a frisky email or text message about what you are going to do to him/her tonight. It's up to you how far you will take this. But, make sure that you keep the security lock on your phone or computer.

#4. Change your attitude

Start thinking positively about your spouse instead of focusing on the negatives. Make it a point, each day, to think positive thoughts about your spouse.

#5. Define your love languages

Taking from Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages, find out how your spouse needs to feel loved. Make it a point to demonstrate love to your spouse in his/her love language, not yours.

#6. Daydream about your spouse.

Make your spouse the leading man/woman in your fantasies.

#7. Reminisce about the good times

Take every opportunity to walk down memory lane with your spouse and talk about the fun times you had together (especially if that fun time was last night.)

#8. Take a short break from each other

The saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder, can be be true. Whenever my husband and I have a short business trip away, I immediately start to miss him. We have the best phone conversations when one of us is one a road trip. And, we have the best welcome home receptions (wink wink)

#9. Pray together.

Trust me, there is nothing more sexy than a spouse that is praying with and for his/her family. Praying and worshiping together can take your relationship to another level of intimacy.

#10. Love yourself

When you love yourself, when you are confident, and when you feel sexy, then you are going to be free and open to give love to your spouse and to receive love from your spouse.

#11. Let some things slide.

That's right, sometimes you have to let some things go from your list, so that you can take some time to relax and enjoy your spouse.

#12. Continue to date

It's very important that couples have a regular date night; a time set aside to focus on each other and to enjoy each other.

#13. Have some me time

Spend some time each day to focus on yourself, to de-stress, and to attend to your own personal and emotional needs. For me personally, when I am stressed I am not in the mood for any flirting, touching, hugging or anything else. When I take some time to de-stress, I am more open to loving my husband.


#14. Get touchy feely

Lamar and I can't pass each other in the hall, the kitchen, or anywhere without touching each other. And, yes..some of our touches are inappropriate...more like gropes.

#15. Be Best Friends

You tell your best friend your secrets, you want to spend your free time with your best friend, you make up with your best friend after arguments. How awesome would it be for your spouse to be that best friend? Lamar is my best friend and my go to person for any and everything in my life.

#16. Have inside jokes and secrets.

There is nothing cuter (and to some people more sickening) than a couple with an inside joke or secret. They are snickering and giving each other looks and sharing a little piece of insignificant information. The keyword here is sharing

#17. Talk to each other.

That's right. Take some time to really talk to each other on a regular basis. Find out how things are going at work, find out the latest gossip about your spouse's family, discuss your goals and dreams. Communication is the key to any successful relationship

#18.Surprise Your Spouse

Surprise your spouse with gifts from time to time: candy, flowers, something your spouse has been wanting but has not taken the time to purchase.

#19 Respect each other

One surefire way to lose some butterflies is to be disrespectful, mean, and nasty to your spouse. Even when things get stressful and even when you have a disagreement, remember to always treat your spouse respectfully.

#20 Realize there are different types of butterflies.

Literally, there are tens of thousands of different species of butterflies. Maybe I don't have the same type of butterflies that I had when we first started dating: those feelings of newness and that anticipation that I had when I first wanted him to kiss me and touch me. But now, I get the butterflies just knowing that he is all mine. I see him walking up and I still smile from ear to ear because he's mine and no one else is getting that loving but me.

#21 Help each other.

You want to give your spouse butterflies...try helping them with something that they are working on. Try supporting their dreams!

#22 Take care of your business

Hands down...seeing my spouse take care of his responsibilities, taking care of his family and putting us first keeps the butterflies in my life!!

#23. Put in the work.

Don't let life chase your butterflies away. Do whatever you have to do to keep the connection, the intimacy and the passion in your marriage.