Involving Your Children in Your Wedding or Vow Renewal

With so many blended families in the world today, there are nearly as many weddings of couples with children as there are weddings of childless couples. Many wedded couples are also opting to renew their vows. In either case, it’s important to think about how you would like to involve your children on the big day. Here are some suggestions:
1. Invite them to be attendants. Children of any age can serve as wedding attendants, from ring bearer or flower girls babies wheeled in carriages up the aisle to grown children standing as honor attendants. Use your own judgment on whether this option will work well for you.
2. Ask them to speak or sing. If your child doesn’t mind being the center of attention, you can prepare a poem or reading for them to read during the ceremony, allow them to prepare a toast for the reception (if they’re old enough), or encourage them to sing a song with meaning to all of you.
3. Have a unity ceremony. This is a classic way to honor the joining of two families or just the love you have for children. You can go with a unity candle, a sand ceremony, a flower ceremony, a tree ceremony, or anything else that interests you. Provide your officiant with special wording for the ceremony to reflect how happy you are to have such a wonderful family.

4. Give them gifts. A sweet and simple way to involve your children in your wedding is to bring them up during the ceremony and present them with special gifts you bought just for them. Engraved items like watches, pendants, and rings make wonderful wedding gifts and keepsakes.
5. Ask the officiant to bless all of you. A nice touch is to have the officiant bring the family together at one point during the ceremony to extend a blessing over all of you. If you’re giving gifts to your child(ren), this is a great time to do it.

6. Assign them tasks. Having children serve as ushers, guest book or photo booth attendants, children’s table overseers, etc. will give them a sense of purpose and importance. This is a wonderful way to get them involved in your big day.
7. Plan special photos. Meet with the photographer before the wedding to discuss some fun and creative ways to capture the joining or renewal of your family in your photographs. You could even consider bringing your children to the meeting to get them excited about the idea. Do your best to incorporate some of their suggestions if they offer any so they feel more involved.