Eat, weigh, love? Why pre-wedding diets can lead to unhappily ever after.

By Kjerstin Gruys

Kjerstin Gruys, the author of “Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body by Not Looking at It for a Year,” is a sociology PhD candidate at the University of California at Los Angeles.

 
After a bride-to-be says yes to the dress, she often starts saying no — to carbs, desserts and other high-calorie foods.

When I was planning my 2011 wedding, I felt the pressure to do all I could to look my most beautiful on my wedding day. In our culture, beautiful usually means thin. Indeed, a glance at the top three national bridal magazines published this month found an abundance of weight-loss advice, including “clever ways to shed those last few pounds,” tips for choosing a low-sugar juice cleanse and lists of “bloating” foods to avoid.

But dieting is exactly what brides shouldn’t do if they want to be happy, healthy, calm and confident on their wedding day. Sure, there are plenty of great reasons to be more mindful about your diet and exercise habits, but looking like a twig for your nuptials isn’t one of them. In addition to not working 95 percent of the time, dieting makes us poor decision-makers, depletes our willpower, darkens our mood and can be toxic for our intimate relationships.

Let’s start with the most obvious issue: Diets don’t work in the long run. Numerous studies show that those who diet are more likely to gain weight in the future than they are to lose weight and keep it off. In terms of weight loss or maintenance, we’re generally better off if we never diet in the first place.

Of course, weight gain or loss isn’t the only thing at stake when dieting. Focusing obsessively on our looks makes us dumber. Psychologists have found that the human brain can do only so much at one time, and thinking self-consciously about our looks steals brainpower from other tasks.

In my favorite study on this topic, 72 men and women were required to try on a bathing suit or a V-neck sweater in a dressing room with a full-length mirror. They were then asked to take a math test. Women wearing the bathing suit had significantly lower math scores than those wearing the sweater, presumably because they were too busy thinking about their thighs to contemplate trigonometry.
Thankfully, obsessing about weight or appearance doesn’t dull our minds permanently, but it does leave us less able to perform at our mental best. Choosing a DJ and caterer who fit your budget and drawing up a seating chart are difficult enough on a full stomach, let alone a deprived one.

In a similar vein, activities that require willpower are further brain-draining. Take, for example, an experiment in which one group of college undergraduates was given a two-digit number to remember, and a second group was given a seven-digit number. The students were told to walk down a hall, where they were presented with two snack options: a slice of chocolate cake or a bowl of fruit salad.

The students with seven digits to remember were nearly twice as likely to choose the cake as those who were given two digits. Willpower is finite; all it takes is a few extra bits of information before the brain starts to give in to temptation.

Photo of the Week

 

This Photo of the Week is of my husband as a young slugger. How cute is he???

The 5 Bridal Myths That Can Ruin Your Wedding

Stephanie Herbst

Bridal blogger at Wedding Party

 

 

Getting married is a wonderful experience. That being said, there are tons of different pressures and myths surrounding the entire wedding planning process that can turn an otherwise memorable and amazing experience into a stressful second job. Here are five wedding myths that you should never believe -- because they're going to make your life a hell of a lot harder in the coming months if you do believe them.


1. It's your special day. I'm all for having a wonderful wedding celebration that showcases you and your groom's amazing relationship and your happy future together. That's what weddings are about, right? However, the minute a bride starts really believing that a wedding is her day her way, trouble begins. Because your big day is never going to be just your day, nor is it ever going to be perfect. Keep your wedding day in perspective and remember the things that really matter -- the relationship of you and your better half, and the loving family and friends who have been supportive of you two the entire way.


2. You'll "Say Yes to the Dress." Going wedding dress shopping is an incredibly exciting yet stressful experience. Finding the dress you're going to wear on your wedding day isn't easy for most brides. There probably isn't going to be a choir of angels that descend from heaven when you slip on the perfect gown. Like your road to finding the right man/woman, you're going to have to slog through a bunch of messes and disasters before you get the perfect fit. And you may not try on your wedding dress and love it right away, or after a few minutes, or even after a few days. You may have to think about it, and change your mind again and again. And again. And you know what? That's okay.


3. Your bridesmaids are your bitches. Oh, man. I really can't stress this one enough. Unless you've got a sort of friendship with your best friends where you all call each other "bitch" and are weirdly passive-agressive to each other (it happens), don't -- I repeat don't -- think of your bridesmaids as your bitches. Ever. Because you know what? They're not your wedding bitches. They're your best friends. If you want them to stay your friends after your wedding, it's important to remember that they are real people with real lives outside of being in your wedding. Thinking about them as your bitches will actually lead you to treat them like your bitches, which in the end just makes you... kind of a bitch.


4. You need to DIY something. All the biggest wedding blogs and the best Pinterest boards out there will throw tons and tons and tons of DIY wedding inspiration at you. You might think after seeing all those pretty DIY projects that you'd be a fool not to try to DIY 75 percent of your wedding decor. But you know what? Sometimes DIY isn't as easy, cost effective, or time efficient as you think. You don't have to DIY something at your wedding. Nobody's going to look at you funny if your souvenirs aren't gold-foiled-paper-mached masterpieces. In fact, they may not notice. In short, don't waste your time or money on DIY because you feel like you have to. Only do it if you really, really want to.


5. It's all about the details. With all the wedding inspiration out there, it's hard not to get caught up in all the little details that go into the picture-perfect weddings featured in magazines and the larger wedding blogs. Those details, while adorable, can incept your mind and convince you that you need those small touches to make your wedding perfect. You need the paper straws! You need the decorative outdoor chandeliers! You need the hand-written 10-foot-long version of your vows to serve as your ceremony's backdrop! The truth is, you don't really need any of those things. You just need your significant other, an officiant, and maybe some rings. Everything else is optional -- so choose what you think is the most important, and don't lose sight of the bigger picture.

Follow Stephanie Herbst on Twitter: www.twitter.com/wedding

The Case Against 'Good Enough'

Kathleen Trenske

Photographer

 

 

My parents have exactly 18 professional images from their wedding. Eighteen. I know them inside and out. I could describe each image to you so well that a sketch artist would be able to recreate them.

How do I know them so well? Because I've looked at them hundreds of times. I've looked at them hundreds of times because they were on display, in an album. An album that was made by a professional, filled with prints made through a professional lab and bound in a book available only to professionals. From the time I was a little girl I was fascinated by it -- seeing my parents so young, my grandparents and aunts and uncles surrounding them. It was a simple leather book, with the images slipped in and preserved behind plastic but it held up surprisingly well over time. Even though I looked at it more times than I could count. Even though this May those images will turn 42 years old.

But what about couples that marry today? What if they decide to forgo an album? What if they decide it's not worth the cost? How many images do you really think they'll put into frames? Five? Ten? Maybe that first year married, they'll have a bunch. But then, kids comes along. Baby pictures replace wedding pictures in those frames. They move, things change. In 40 years, how many pictures do you think their children will know by heart? How many pictures will they have even seen?
Today, a lot of couples think just getting the disc of images is "good enough." Here's the problem with that thinking: it's not true. Not by a long shot.

Don't get me wrong, I think that getting the files from your day is great. Today's couples probably get up to 1,000 images from their wedding, WAY more images than my parents did. After all, what happened to all those other images from my parents' wedding day? They probably sat, negatives in a box, at their photographer's studio never again to see the light of day. So I think it's wonderful that couples get ALL their photos. But what worries me is that even with that option, it won't mean that today's couples will necessarily be better off. My fear is that today's couples will actually end up with LESS than what my parent's got in 1971.

Think about it, will the computers of 2055 even have DVD drives? USB ports? Will they even have hard drives at all? If the past is any indication, the answer is no. You know what the big technological advancement was when my parents got married? Eight-track players. What if their images were stored on the equivalent of that? How in the world would I see those images today?
But you know what never becomes obsolete? What never goes out of style? Photographs. And not just any photographs. Not photos printed at a drugstore. Professional photographs, printed by a professional lab. Those are the photos you find in an attic. It could be a 100-year-old photo, but it still looks good. Because back then, the paper photographs were printed on was high quality and developing them was an art form. There were no machines that spit out pictures onto cheap paper with inexpensive ink. I actually have to stop myself from intervening when I see people at those automated machines in a drugstore. Whatever they're charging, it's too much. Because those prints aren't worth the paper they're printed on. They will fade. They will curl. They will not stand the test of time. Not even close.

Your memories are worth more than that. And your wedding images? They are worth TONS more than that. These aren't snapshots from a vacation. They aren't pictures from your iPhone. You cared enough about these moments to hire a professional to photograph them. Follow that through by having a professional print them. Have that professional print the pictures you put into frames and have them design you a high-quality wedding album that you will cherish for decades.
If you purchase an album through your photographer, you can see a sample in person. You can touch and feel it and make sure it is worth every penny.

I know that albums are expensive. That's for good reason. They are custom-designed books, usually hand-stitched and hand assembled and made just for you.

But of all the things you spend money on for your wedding, your wedding photographs are the ONLY thing that will increase in value over time. As the years pass, you'll be more and more glad that you have them. Especially, if you can experience looking through them by flipping through a gorgeous custom-designed album instead of sitting in front of your computer and clicking "next" with your mouse.

So, figure out a way to make it happen. Figure out a way to afford that album. Forgo a centerpiece. Cut back on your guest list. Opt out of the vintage car you'll drive in for all of 20 minutes.
Don't just do it for you. Do it for your children. Do it for your grandchildren. Because when they root around in your attic in 2075, they will have no idea what do with a USB key anymore than they would with a laser disc player.

Dinner Night, Movies and Moonshine Jungle!

Hello All, Here is my weekend recap:

 

Friday Night I was busy as always with a Panther Dinner Night at Chili's. Scott had to work so Jacelyn and I went... You got to love modern technology and how it takes over my date:

 

 

Saturday Morning Scott had to get his car serviced so while we waited, we went and had some breakfast and celebrate our 9 month anniversary.

 

 

 

As you can see, he was all about being a little silly with his food.

 

After Breakfast, we took a walk on the beach, picked up his car, did some work around the house then headed out to see Grown Ups 2

 

The movie was pretty funny and it was nice to have a night out with Scott.

Sunday we stayed close to home since Scott was on work watch but that night, It was all about the Moonshine Jungle.

 

 

Scott got tickets from work for us to go see Bruno Mars in concert... In the VIP Suite!!

 

It was such a great concert and so many things to see... Here are a few pics I was able to get from my phone.

 

The Camerons are VIP!!

 

 

 

OMG... The VIP Suite Dessert Cart!!! Worth every bite!
 

 

 

 

 

Bruno Mars!!!!!
 

 

That is the Weekend Wrap Up! Hope everyone has a great week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Music Monday: Bruno Mars: Locked Out of Heaven

Since we went to his concert last night... Its only right I choose a Bruno Mars Song:

 

Amazing Gift: Bride With Terminal Cancer to Have Dream Wedding

The dream wedding is being organized by Erica Ota, a wedding planner who saw a message about the couple on a Facebook group for wedding planners

At first, when 35-year-old Jen Bulik developed a cough that she couldn't shake, doctors diagnosed it as pneumonia. But when it still didn't go away with treatment, further tests showed the fateful diagnosis: Stage IV lung cancer.

Last month, after five months of treatment, Bulik received the dreaded news from her doctors: Even with continued treatment, she had less than six months to live.

"So when I heard that, I said, 'Let's get married,'" said Bulik, who had been dating longtime boyfriend Jeff Lang for six years. "Because I wanted to focus on life."

With time running out, Bulik and Lang chose to plan a simple, small wedding with close friends and family -- barbecue food served on paper plates in Jen's parents back yard.

Instead, thanks to the help of strangers, the couple will get married on Saturday, and Bulik will get the wedding of her dreams. Thirty Bay Area wedding vendors are donating $50,000 worth of goods and services to make Bulik's wedding dreams come true.

The dream wedding is being organized by Erica Ota, a wedding planner who saw a message about Bulik and Lang on a Facebook group for wedding planners.

Their story touched her.

"I just feel that in life there are opportunities every day to do extraordinary things for other people,” Erica says. “This was an opportunity I saw to do something for somebody else. So why not?”

At first, Ota planned on helping out the day of the wedding. But as she got to know the couple, she decided she needed to do more.

“I got the impression from reading excerpts from her [Jen’s] blog that she’s the most positive, optimistic person," Ota said. "And despite this grave prognosis, she seemed like she wasn’t going to give up, it still seems that way.”

Over the last few weeks, she used Bulik's Pinterest wedding board as a guide to plan the dream wedding. She enlisted the help of more than 30 Bay Area wedding vendors to provide everything on the Pinterest board -- and the couple didn't have to pay anything.

“It was my goal for them not to pay a dime,” Erica says. “I thought to myself these people have already suffered enough, why not be able to give them a gift? A wonderful gift that they, and their families will never be able to forget.”

The couple will say their vows in a park down the street from Jen's childhood home. The dream reception will be follow in the back yard of her parents' house.

“I think it’s amazing the generosity in their heart,” Bulik said, “and they’re so touched by our story and that’s I guess it’s like people have feelings.”

If you would like to contribute to a fund set up to help the couple during this difficult time, you can donate at giveforward.com.

 

Confesions of a Newlywed: Month 9

Since our 9 month anniversary is tomorrow, I figured I would post my Newlywed Confessions today:

 

 

 

1. I cant believe that it has been 9 months... I swear time goes by so fast.
2. We are learning to make more time for each other in the mist of our busy schedules but we do what we can to spend time with one another.
3. Vegas next month for his mothers wedding will be a great adult trip for us.
4. I am learning that it is us and not me anymore... I am getting better at it.
5. Romance... That is all.
6. Nothing is better in life right now for me to go to sleep and wake up to the same person laying by my side.
7. I want to be a better wife... Just have to learn more things.
8. Its nice to hang with married people and have similar discussions with them.
9. I hear our wedding song and it makes me smile every time.
10. House hunting has been a thing of progress but I know it will happen for us soon
11. To hear him say I Love You makes my day
12. I still text him Good Morning even though he is right next to me... I know but I love him.
13. I'm still working on a few wedding projects but I will get them done.
14. I am getting better at expressing myself to my husband... He is too.
15. It makes me happy to hear people talk about our love and how we love.
16. I like that every now and again he still surprises me.
17. Date Nights have been crazy to plan but I look forward to having more hopefully in the near future.
18. Did I mention I am so happy?
19. I cant wait for our one year anniversary... I have to pullout all the stops.
20. He completes me.

Wedding Guest Etiquette | Some Tips

I’ve been thinking a lot about etiquette over the last few months. My mother is very big on etiquette. In this day and age, many forms of etiquette have gone out the window. (And, in many cases, common courtesy has left with them.) As I planned my wedding, I skimmed through an etiquette book, which was, for the most part, outdated. I am nowhere near my mother’s level of understanding and abiding by proper etiquette. But it does make me sad that the average person in my generation has little to no understanding of the practice. So, I’ll share some tips for going to weddings. (Note to my wedding guests: this is not a personal attack. I love you guys.)

 

The Nichols via SMP

 

 

1. RSVP. I seriously can’t emphasize this one enough. The bride and groom have taken the time to include a response card, with an envelope, which is addressed, and they’ve paid for a stamp. All you have to do is check yes or no and stick it in the mailbox. Easy as pie. They are trying to keep track of a LOT of people, so please do them this favor. (Even if you’ve already mentioned that you’re coming. Send it in.)


2. Do not bring anyone who is not specified on the invitation. Unless you have heard specifically from the bride or groom’s mouth to your ears that this is not the case, they are inviting the people who are named on the invitation. “Miss Elizabeth Smith,” for example means only Elizabeth. “Miss Elizabeth Smith and Guest” means she may bring ONE guest. If she is married, “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” means the couple only… even if they have children. If the children are invited, they will be specified on the invitation. Some weddings do not include children, and some only include children of close family. Do not assume yours are invited. The point is, someone is paying a pretty penny for EACH person who attends, and they don’t want the awkward responsibility of having to explain this to you, when you respond that you are bringing your girlfriend of two weeks and her daughter, and your mom. Don’t do it.


3. Try not to ask the bride and groom about details. The bride and groom love you. (Or at least one of them does.) Otherwise you would not be invited to their wedding. But they have a LOT to worry about in the months, and especially weeks and days leading up to the wedding. Questions like “where should I stay?” “what should I wear?” “what time is the ceremony?”The bride and groom have most likely included a web site on their invitation, which should answer all of these questions. Hopefully you know or two other people attending the wedding, and can ask them. Try not to bother the bride and groom with it unless you have to. They are dealing with a lot.


4. Don’t wear white. This one is for the ladies. Guys, you can obviously wear a white shirt. This one is actually what inspired the post. I went to two weddings this weekend. At one of them, I wore a dress which has some white on it. I was a little concerned about it, but the dress was mostly black, so I figured it was fine. And it was. I did, however, see a girl wearing something like this:

 

 

It looks like a mini wedding dress, amiright? I don’t know if people are unaware of this rule or just don’t care, but there are plenty of colors to choose from ladies… just stay away from white.
There are plenty of others, but that’s all for now. Feel free to add some in the comments if you’d like!

Friday Letters

 

 

Dear Week....

 

Dam you for all the hard things that you did to me. I am glad to see you go and I am glad that I made it through.

 

Dear Jacelyn...

 

We got all your paperwork done for school so you are now officially a High School Freshman!! Yay!!

 

Dear Weekend....

 

I have so many things to do but we are going to join together and get it all situated. Lets plan for a nap, please?

 

Dear Scott....

 

Tomorrow we will be at the 9 month mark of us being Husband and Wife... HOLY COW! Its been a great ride and I am looking forward to more to come. I Love You! O and Happy Systems Administrative Day!

 

 

Have a great weekend Everyone!

Marriage Advice On How To Maintain An Equal Partnership

Every happy couple has a secret formula that makes their relationship work. For many modern couples, the key is establishing an equal partnership -- which is not to say that everything from chores, to emotional support to finances is split straight down the middle. Rather, both parties contribute something meaningful to the relationship and respect each other's contributions.
On Thursday, we turned to our readers, asking them to reveal how they maintain an equal partnership in their marriages. Scroll down for five interesting perspectives and then tell us what works for you and your spouse in the comments.

"I've only been married just under two years, so I get a lot of fluff about how I'm in the 'honeymoon phase.' While this may be true, it wasn't always easy for me to communicate with my husband because we do so in very different ways; I have always been expressive and he more subdued. I would have to say that prolonging a healthy and equal partnership stems from mastering the art of listening -- I know that seems like the obvious answer and perhaps not so profound, but I think there is an acute distinction between 'hearing' and actually 'listening.' In order to really listen to your partner and appreciate what they have to say, you must first wholeheartedly acknowledge that you are allowed to be separate individuals with differing attitudes and opinions about anything and everything. If you can accept that and still look at each other with hearts in your eyes, you possess an equal partnership." - Radyah, 29, of Toronto.

"Though we both desire an equal partnership in terms of our commitment to each other and our family, we also understand that life doesn't always place us in equal circumstances. We won't always have jobs that pay the same exact amount, or have the same physical capabilities or even be in the same stages of life. Regardless of what circumstances we may face, we both strive to dedicate 100 percent (not 50-50) effort to keeping our partnership equal by planning our days together and dividing tasks. I grew up in a household where my father was the one who cooked meals for me and pushed me through school while my mother focused on her work. In a country like Nigeria, this was almost unheard of at the time. My wife grew up in a reversed and more traditional situation. Under today's standards it would appear that our parents' partnerships were not equal, but we understood that the circumstances they found themselves in back then called for it. Now, in a post-financial crisis society, my wife and I have had to face the reality that one of us (or even both of us) may not be able to bring much money or time to the table but we both respect and support each other for the contributions we can make (whether equal or not) towards our marriage." - Naija, 30, of Nigeria

"Though we both come from traditional backgrounds, we decided when we got engaged that we wanted something that allowed us both to excel personally. We frequently take time to decide what that means: in our careers, religiously, within our family, and then we figure out how to make that happen. Usually it comes down to the day-to-day things and being a cheerleader. We're both OK putting aside our needs for a short while if it helps the other succeed, and we know we'll get a turn next time!" - Celeste, 23, of Salt Lake City

"My partner and I have been together almost 30 years. We both work outside of the home and are raising our 8-year-old son. We balance our family life by dividing the work and realizing what needs to be done. My wife handles the money, shopping and yard. I do the laundry, dishes and school homework. We take turns with our son's bedtime routine. And my wife makes the beds because we both know that I am terrible at that chore :)" - Kelly, 46, of Washington

"Equal partnership in marriage means understanding things may not always be 50/50." - Beverly, 46, of Chicago

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Weddings on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Funny RSVP Card Shows Off Couple's Sense Of Humor (PHOTO)

A typical wedding RSVP card usually gives guests the option to check one of two boxes: either "happily accept" or "regretfully decline." And maybe, if you're lucky, the couple will ask if you prefer chicken or beef.

But one Chicago-area couple -- Katie Kerr and Chris Sabino -- decided to up the ante with their RSVP card and let their awesomely snarky personalities shine through. Check out the hilarious reply card below:

 

 

The couple -- who are big White Sox fans, in case you couldn't tell -- is set to tie the knot on September 21, 2013.

Photo of the Week

 

This Photo of the Week is from our Engagement Shoot... As you can see... It was worth a laugh or 2.

 

 

 

Dedicated Post: 5 Simple Ways Technology Can Improve Your Wedding

Here at Wedding Snap, we’re big believers that technology can help make your wedding all the more fun and enjoyable for everyone involved, every step of the way. But with so many great new apps and planning tools, how do you keep from becoming overwhelmed? Whether you’re looking to make photo-sharing easier than ever, keep guests informed by creating your own social website and app, or even just gather inspiration and ideas on-the-go, here are five simple, no-stress ways technology can help improve your wedding.


1. Photo-Sharing Made Easy
Ever been a guest at a wedding and dreaded having to go through the slow and tedious process of uploading pictures to an online photo-sharing site afterward? Luckily, you can now make this a non-issue for your own guests by using Wedding Snap, a unique iPhone and Android app that allows you to instantly capture all of your guests’ photos and videos in one place without any waiting or begging. Simply share your personalized album code with guests before the wedding and then see hundreds of photos and videos uploaded in real-time all day long. Guests will love how easy the app is to use, and you’ll love conveniently having hundreds of photos in one place to download, share on Facebook and even have retouched by a professional photographer in the weeks following the wedding.

2. Inspiration Anytime, Anywhere
While it’s definitely still fun to leaf through wedding magazines in search of ideas, smartphones and iPads now also make it simpler than ever to find and share inspiration, whether at home or on-the-go. Pinterest and Instagram are of course great places to gather ideas, along with sites like OneWed and Brit + Co., where there’s never a shortage of creative inspiration. One app we especially love, Loverly Weddings for iPhone, also allows you to effortlessly save and share your favorite ideas, upload photos as you plan, and search by color, theme, style or category. The app seamlessly integrates with Loverly’s website, too, letting you access all of your favorite finds in both places.


3. Mobile Planning Tools
Planning a wedding can certainly feel stressful at times, but with the help of today’s mobile tools, it’s a lot easier to get and stay organized. The iPhone app Fun Wedding makes putting together your reception playlist an absolute breeze. Perfect Wedding Guide also offers a mobile tools app to help with everything from seating charts to guestlists and everything else in between!

4. Social Wedding Websites
Wedding websites are a great way to keep your guests informed, and now, thanks to new platforms like Appy Couple and Weduary, they’re also a lot more social. With Weduary, you can use Facebook to socially connect your guest list and help everyone meet and socialize long before the big day arrives. Appy Couple, available for iPhone and Android, also allows you to keep everyone up-to-speed with the help of your own personalized app that fully integrates with Facebook and Twitter.


5. Same-Day Slideshows
Can’t bear the thought of a traditional montage featuring baby pictures of you and your partner? Switch things up a bit with a more creative reception slideshow. Same-day-edits are a hot trend in wedding photography and videography right now, and Wedding Snap also offers a live moderated slideshow showing off all of your guests’ real-time images. While you and your partner will of course be the stars of the day, guests are sure to love seeing their own photos and faces on-screen, too!
How are you planning to use technology to improve your wedding? Have you already tried out any of the apps and tools mentioned here? Leave a comment for us here at the wedding blog!


About Wedding Snap:
Wedding Snap is an innovative photo-and-video-sharing platform and app that allows couples to instantly collect and share hundreds of their guests’ wedding photos and videos in real-time. With Wedding Snap, couples can gather all of their precious wedding memories in one place with ease. Wedding Snap is the simplest photo-and-video-sharing experience that uses iPhone and Android apps to instantly collect guests’ memories in an online, real-time album. Every photo and video taken with this wedding app is immediately uploaded to the online album. No waiting or begging. Your guests can watch your wedding happen in real-time, no matter where they are. And best of all, it’s so simple, a 5-year-old could use it.


Photo credits: Wedding Snap

Congratulations Shulie!!

So if you all recall I went to a Robbins Brothers event last week and I missed seeing Shulie there because she was out on vacation in Paris.... Well while she was there, She got ENGAGED!!

 

The moment.....

 

Yay!!

 

Congratulations to you Shulie.... I cant wait to see your wedding unfold!

 

 

Happy Birthday Sissy!!

 

Happy Birthday Sissy! Im glad your home to celebrate! Love Ya!

 

Your Engagement Ring Belongs on Your Left Ring Finger, Not in Your Suitcase

Sandy Malone

Owner, Weddings in Vieques

Not long ago, one of my wedding couples entrusted part of their luggage to their wedding party instead of bringing it to Vieques Island, Puerto Rico, themselves. Believe it or not, I get it -- although it's not something I would ever personally do (I'm wayyy too much of a control freak) -- because as it was, they were traveling with most of their luggage, their wedding attire AND a very cute handful of a three-year-old daughter. I think the little girl had to be their first priority between the planes, taxis and boats they took to get themselves to Vieques Island for their wedding all the way from California. At the end of the day, the bride and groom made the decision that made the most sense at the time.


Unfortunately (yeah, you saw that coming), things didn't go as smoothly as planned. The bride and groom and their luggage and their daughter arrived safe and sound and we got them all set up at their beautiful villa, but a couple of hours later the panicked phone calls began. Somebody (everybody blamed the best man but I'm pretty sure it was a group error) had left a couple of bags somewhere along the way between the big island of Puerto Rico and Vieques Island, and when they finally arrived at the wedding villa. Once the absence of the bag was noted, the bride and groom flipped -- justifiably.


The suitcase that was lost contained not only a lot of specific things she'd brought along for her wedding décor (things I couldn't replace like family photos and charms for bouquets with pics of the bride's deceased father), but more importantly, somewhere in that suitcase were the bride and groom's wedding rings. Oh yeah, and the bride's extremely lovely engagement ring too!!!
Weddings aside, let's have a little life lesson here on how to pack and what to pack in luggage you're going to be checking or letting out of your control at any point. NEVER EVER pack jewelry or any sort of valuables in your checked luggage. Between California and Vieques Island, there were about a gazillion opportunities for a dishonest security person to help themselves to thousands and thousands of dollars worth of jewelry that was not only valuable, but possibly the most important element of the wedding weekend.


I actually learned this lesson many, many years ago when my own godmother had her luggage pilfered on a trip from Florida to Washington, DC, and she lost a LOT of irreplaceable family heirloom jewelry. I couldn't have even been out of high school back when this happened, but I still vividly remember the tears and the horror at the entire disaster, and I remember my mother giving me a very important lecture about never letting your valuables out of your sight when you travel, and NEVER carrying your jewelry anywhere but on your person or in your purse (which should never actually leave your body).


Obviously, everything that brides and grooms pack for their wedding trip is MISSION CRITICAL. If you didn't have to carry it, you would have mailed it ahead. Let's face it, between TSA and airline fees for luggage nowadays, all my clients struggle to get everything they need into their suitcases. The bride has tons of stuff she needs -- from clothing options to makeup selections and accessories galore -- anything that can be shipped ahead to me is usually sent. But sometimes couples run out of time and have to bring some things with them that require special handling. That said, when you travel for your destination wedding, your engagement ring belongs on the bride's finger and the wedding rings belong in her purse or the groom's pocket. End of story.


I can help you replace almost anything you lose -- I think we could have even had those family pictures sent via email so we could print and display them as intended -- but not the wedding rings. If you, God forbid, decide to check your wedding gown and lose that, I even know where we can get another wedding gown in a pinch (might not be the one you wanted to wear, but you'd have options and you wouldn't go down the aisle naked). But losing the wedding rings in your luggage is a situation that only the bride and groom, their insurance agent and God can fix once it happens and you know for sure the jewelry is gone for good.


There was a happy ending to this story (again, the adventure of recovering the jewelry is another blog for another day) because the bride and groom's suitcase was recovered thanks to the help of fast-thinking and quick work by the Policía de Puerto Rico's Agente Andy Ramos (I'm also the community liaison to the police department here on Vieques Island so we have excellent relationships with law enforcement), who also works with us on wedding setups and teardowns, so he was emotionally invested in helping us solve this mystery too. The wedding was beautiful, and everything from the lost suitcase was present at the wedding. Thank goodness because I'm sure the bride and groom's destination wedding would have been destroyed for them regardless of how lovely everything else was if they'd lost the very expensive symbols of the eternal commitment they were about to make to each other. It would have been an unlucky way to start a marriage.


The moral of the story: NEVER PACK YOUR VALUABLE ITEMS IN CHECKED LUGGAGE no matter where you're traveling and for what purpose. If you can't fit it on you or in your carry-on items, you don't need to bring it with you. My bride and groom lucked out big time in getting everything back in one piece and before their wedding -- but you might not be so lucky if you make the same mistake. The clients who lost their wedding rings were getting married on 12/12/12, the last luckiest day of our lifetimes according to most numerology experts. I can only believe the 12/12/12 luck was what saved the day for all of us. I look forward to hearing how their date selection plays into their marriage for years down the road, but I can tell you for darned certain one thing -- they are the LUCKIEST clients I've ever had on Vieques Island to get that engagement ring and their wedding rings back after they were left unattended on another island.


If you missed this crazy episode of "Wedding Island" on TLC last night, set your DVR for next Thursday at 9 pm so you see what really happened. We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried. I kept wondering if I was being punked!


Until next time, happy wedding planning from Weddings in Vieques and Weddings in Culebra!
Sandy

Music Mondays: Justin Timberlake: Mirrors

Sissy is Home!!!

Hey Bloggers.. Here is my weekend recap:

 

 

Friday started off with a BANG with my Sissy coming home for her birthday. I know I just saw her last month for the family reunion but it was good to see her again. She had a ruff day of travel so I went ahead and gave her the birthday surprise that I knew she would LOVE:

 

Anyone that knows my Sister knows her love of Wonder Woman. My dad use to call her Wonder Woman and I Superwoman.... I guess the names stuck.

 

After gifts and hugs, I took her over to my nail shop so she can get an AMAZING Deluxe Mani/Pedi... Needless to say I think she enjoyed it!

 

 

Saturday Morning I got up and went to run some errands for the house and Saturday Night, the crew got together to see and celebrate my sister being home. Here are a few pictures from the day:

 

 

 

 

Sunday was Movie Day at our house... My parents and sister came by to watch Olympus Has Fallen and TED:

 

 

 

I know I am super late but this bear right him..... TOO DAM FUNNY! I was slightly disturbed but love the dark humor of it all.

 

 

That's my weekend.... Hope you all had a great one too!

 

 

Online Marriage Proposal Features Incredible Interactive Website

 

 

 

To pop the question to his girlfriend, one Chicago web designer decided to put his technical skills to the ultimate test.

With the help of illustrator Gabe Cooper and web developer Josh Compton, Matt Bush proposed to his girlfriend of two years, Kate Vogel, by designing a slideshow-style website that told the story of their relationship. The story concluded with instructions for Vogel to meet Bush at the bench in Chicago where they first decided to start dating, and Bush proposed.

Compton posted the website, called A Story About Us, on Reddit Wednesday; check it out here.

Bush told HuffPost Weddings that he first got the idea to propose using a website when he saw The Story of Jess and Russ, a scrolling website that described the timeline of the couple's relationship.

"I really, really liked the storytelling aspect of this and how clear of a picture you got of their relationship in a pretty condensed way," Bush said.

In April, he enlisted Cooper and Compton's help to design and build his own version, and the three worked on the site remotely so Vogel wouldn't discover what they were up to. Each phase of their relationship, from the day they met at a Cinco de Mayo party, to their college graduation, was illustrated and captioned, and Compton added small animations to enhance each slide.

On Tuesday, Bush told Vogel to be at a computer at 5 p.m. and wait for his instructions; then, he emailed her the website. He went straight to the bench after work and waited for her to arrive.

"When she showed up and figured out where she was, I could tell it hit her and she knew what was going down," Bush said. "Tears were in her eyes before I even started talking, so I considered that a success!"

Another couple, Jim and Julie, got engaged in 2011 after Jim designed a comic book-style website to pop the question, and in 2012, Buzzfeed contributor Len Kendall used the site to propose to his girlfriend.

Friday Letters

 

 

Dear Sissy,

 

Welcome back home!

 

Dear Day Day,

 

Happy Birthday my love. I know that the last few weeks have been ruff for you with your Dad but I Love You and I hope you have a great weekend. Make sure Michael does something nice for you this weekend!

 

Dear Sleep,

 

I remember you and I still love you.

 

Dear California,

 

My how I love you and your awesome weather. I am proud to be a certified California girl!

 

Dear Scott,

 

I know it has been a busy week and I hope the weekend is not too busy for you but I Thank You for working hard for your family. I Love You!

 

 

These are a few of my Favorite Things.... Diamonds, Desserts and Dress for Success!!

On Tuesday event, Scott and I were invited to the 2nd Annual Robbins Brothers Diamonds and Dessert event at the Glendale Location. The event highlighted Simon G. Jewelry and Dress for Success.

 

 

Some of the great vendors featured included Cake Moments, Noor in Pasadena, Serve The Goddess Mobile Spa Services and Petal Blush Love.

 

Here are some of the highlights of the evening....

 

 

 

 

Tracey and Diane from Robbins Brothers.. We missed Shulie this year but I am sure she is enjoying her vacation.

 

 

 

Tracey and Diane with Natasha Burton from Cosmo Magazine... She is newly engaged and in the stages of planning her wedding! Very Nice Lady.

 

 

 



 

My better half and I

 

 

 

 

 

 

Simon G Jewelry....It was to die for!

 

 

Cake Moments and the FAB cake for display.

 

The ladies of Cake Moments and Petal Blush Love

 

The pins of Petal Blush Love.

 

 

They stole my heart with the Red Velvet Cupcakes....OMG SO TASTY!

 

 

My Manicure from Serve the Goddess... Too Cute

 

The Swag Bag!

 

I have to also note that Noor made Fabulous Pomegranate Sangria but I forgot to take a picture of them... It was an excellent cocktail and refreshing for the summer.

 

Its always great to be apart of any event with Robbins Brother but also for such a great cause. Dress for Success does excellent work and if you have yet to check them out, Please do!

 

I am looking forward to many more Robbins Brothers event and great things from all the vendors and Guest.

 

 

 

 

 

Buying Wedding Bliss

Brie Schwartz

Editor / Writer

The first time my mother pulled out food stamps in our local supermarket, I was confused. She had just bought me a new Kate Spade bag -- a gateway purse for any girl growing up in our wealthy enclave of Long Island. Could we really not afford cheese?

I had all the trappings of a middle class teen -- Hard Tail pants that sagged ever-so-grandly in the derrière, Juicy Couture velour, and enough Abercrombie billboard apparel to wear to every gym class. While this could hardly compete with my peers who held their books in Prada backpacks and owned a Fendi bag in every breed, I was content. I never coveted what they had. I understood that excessive tokens were bestowed on these 16-year-olds on no merit of their own. Their mothers simply wanted them to be able to keep up with the over-Keratin'ed class.

We weren't quite poor, at least not in the traditional sense. My one-bedroom apartment was modest compared to my besties' estates. Instead of a housekeeper to make me grilled cheese after school, I packed a snack and nibbled in the lunchroom of my mom's hair salon. I did all of the vacuuming.
My mom raised me by herself, with some weekend help from my Bronx-bred dad who considered brands like Express high fashion. He owned a t-shirt company and couldn't understand why I'd ever want to purchase pants with someone else's name on them when I had a perfectly good arsenal of tie-dyed sweats waiting for me at his warehouse. Despite occasionally admiring quilted clutches with signature c's, I had enough confidence on my own that I didn't need a $4,000 shield against the cruel kids.

Being at peace with my outlook on pricey goods has been almost entirely negated since I started planning my wedding. I always knew I wasn't going to spend an inordinate amount on my gown (and by that I mean, I'd keep it under $3,000) but what I didn't realize is how many other props need to be purchased to accompany your "big day," or in my case, my big week.

I chose to have a tropical destination wedding for two reasons. Firstly (and most importantly) I wanted to kidnap guests for a few days to have one extended party where they would all be laughably drunk for 48 hours with no car access. Secondly, as someone who finds decision-making impossible, I didn't want to be tempted to fixate on details like linens and votive count.

My wedding is in the hands of Mayte, a bohemian Argentine who runs the remote beach restaurant we'll be wed at in the Dominican Republic. Her average response rate between emails runs about three weeks but she closes our exchanges with "un abrazo" (Spanish for "a hug") so I feel at ease. There are entire bridal forums dedicated to this woman and the neurosis she stirs in brides who nightly fret that they won't see their centerpieces until two days before their receptions. For me, this is perfect. I sent my Pinterest board off to Mayte to give her a sense of just how many twinkle lights and peonies I want and the rest is in her trusty hands. Wedding planning complete.

Or so I thought. In an unforeseeable circumstance, I have found myself unemployed in the months leading up to my wedding. A note to brides everywhere: this may seem like a fantasy. It is not. Too many hours logged on Style Me Pretty will make you feel utterly inadequate. These virtual brides-to-be transformed from my inspiration to my nemeses who did everything better.

To fill my free time, I use task lists to feel productive. Things like "find best ever monogrammed tumblers," and "research tankinis with complementary swim skirts" have become full day affairs and sources of stress. Even after ticking off jobs, I'm left wondering if I did in fact get the perfect robe for my bridesmaids. Perhaps they'd prefer boxers, or tanks or ironic headbands. How do you pick one item that expresses proper gratitude to your friends? I know! A chevron makeup case with their initials on it definitely says, "I appreciate you." There's no harm in the occasional procrastination when you're on the clock, but when finding these items is your only occupation, absolute bride-sanity ensues. I get twitchy every night around 3 a.m. to feed my recent online shopping addiction. I feel like Michael Fassbender in Shame, with my incessant, passionless purchases, just trying to get a fix with every click, hoping I'll eventually feel a sense of calm.

One of the simultaneously best and worst things to happen to news media was the creation of 24/7 coverage. I can say this with complete authority because I once met Ted Turner. This is how I feel about the bridal publishing market. It's a blessing that I can access planning sites whenever I fancy, but also a curse. I've been able to tune out most of the chaos over the course of my nearly three-year engagement. But now, with two weeks to go, I'm beginning to worry that I didn't study enough for the exam. Did I get enough facials? Should I have stopped eating salt/white bread/white chocolate/brown soda/tequila by now? Which of the 700 workouts on Pinterest will actually give me the best bridal booty in seven days? And where do I get a trousseau? Does that come with the cake?
Every time I pass a shop window, I feel a strong pull to go inside -- maybe within lies the one purchase that will give me composure before I make this huge life change. Maybe, just this once, the high-end outpost will have the answer.

Like my grade school peers in Prada, my constant pursuit of items that I hope will transform me into my best self the week I get married has made me lose sight of what really matters. While I may not be secure in my choice of flip flops, cover-ups or crystalline sash, I am confident in my choice of who I'm marrying, even if I haven't found him a proper swimsuit yet. That's on tomorrow's to-do list.

Photo of the Week

 

 

This Photo of the Week is of my hubby and I at the Robbins Brothers Diamonds and Desserts event last night. I don't like the smile on my face but I am a happy lady!! LOL. Thanks to Tracey, Diane and the Robbins Brothers team for a great event!

Check out this great MSN video - Bride tosses herself along with the bouquet

Check out this great MSN video - Bride tosses herself along with the bouquet

6 Things That Make an Exceptional Spouse

Are you the best spouse that you can be?

Talk about a loaded question. But then our own answer hits us with a resounding thud – Of course not. Surely there is something else we all can do a little better. Someway we can express our love a little more effectively.

I thought about this as I was reading a recent Inc. Magazine blog post about what exceptional business leaders do better than other leaders. As it is true in business, it is true in any facet of life – there are those that are not too good at what they do, there are those that are alright and then there are the exceptional.

When it comes to marriage, what makes for an exceptional spouse?
Similar to the business world, being exceptional in marriage calls for reading the culture and situation of the marriage. Each marriage is different and what works in one marriage might not work in another. However, here are six ways that should move us toward becoming a better than average, even exceptional spouse:


1. Become Great Communicators. We can not talk enough, about how we talk to each other. There is not an area of our marriage that is not impacted by how we talk and express ourselves to each other. Because, our communication either is the problem or the bridge back from the problem. I have read so many books about communication in marriage – even wrote a few chapters on it myself – but it always seems to boil down to lovingly saying what we feel and hearing what our spouse is really saying. The more we can honestly say how we feel and what we need the stronger our communication becomes. But also we have to hear each other. And hearing is different than listening. Hearing is seeking to understand from our spouse’s point of view, not our own. Without really hearing each other, our communication is significantly hindered.


2. I am sorry. I forgive you. Two of the most exceptional displays of humility in a marriage. Admitting when we are wrong sometimes feels like walking across the street with our eyes closed. Vulnerable! Because, when we admit our mistakes we lose control of the outcome by placing ourselves into our spouse’s hand. Admitting we messed up, ultimately, buys us a lot of credibility with our spouse and more importantly keeps us in right relationship with Christ. As much as we need to be forgiven, we have to also forgive. Forgiving, is that ability to stop transferring our feelings about what has happened to our spouse. We know that it happened, but we are moved to a point of not transferring our hurt back to our spouse. Neither of these is easy, they are exceptionally humble actions, which is precisely why sincerely admitting our wrongs and forgiving their wrongs brings exceptional results to a marriage.


3. Share One Another’s Load. Running a house, raising kids and then being productive on our jobs is tiring. An exceptional spouse knows nothing about 50-50 and is more focused on “whatever it takes”. Seeking to take the load off of our spouse makes their life easier if even in only small ways. While the rule may be: “that” is a man’s job and “this” is a woman’s role. When we can move beyond those boundaries and take the load off or our husband or wife, we demonstrate how much we value them. And thus, put exceptional strength into our relationship. Note to Husbands: There was a study that came out a few years ago that made a strong link between the amount of house work a man does and the degree of intimacy he enjoys with his wife.


4. Solve Problems Side by Side. Change your language from “you”, to “we” and “us” and you can begin to move from confrontational to partnership in your marriage. For example, if you can change “you” are always late, which is 100% on them to, “we” need to work on being on time, which is walking side by side. That is exceptional patience in humility in that you remove blame and walk together.


5. Complement (Verbally). After a few years we get so comfortable with each other that we can forget our manners. Never stop saying thank you. Take note of your spouse’s new clothes or improved attitude. At times we have to be intentional about continuing to express our feelings and admiration. SO make it a habit to routinely check yourself, are you paying enough attention to your spouse, more importantly are you telling them what you are seeing and feeling.


6. Wisdom. Exceptional spouses seek exceptional wisdom. The longer we are married the wiser we should be about ourselves, our spouse and our family. If you even suspect that an action or behavior might lead to a bigger problem, then don’t do it! For example, the wise, exceptional spouse doesn’t linger in conversations that are clearly leading us in the wrong direction. Exceptional wisdom looks for, sees and runs like crazy from potential calamity. The exceptional spouse also takes note of what is important to their spouse and where the land mines are. The point, is that being an exceptional spouse is about knowing yourself and being proactive about avoiding big “mess ups”.
An interesting closing thought is that we can do all of these things and our spouse may or may not see the value in them. Being “exceptional” isn’t about reaching a destination, rather it is about constantly working to love our spouse more completely and most importantly, the way they need to be loved.