4 Ways to Be a Gracious Bride

Being a bride is a significantly special occasion in a woman's life. While the bride is traditionally the center of attention during the wedding, she should still remember to be gracious and consider the feelings of others during the planning process and even on her big day. These tips will help ensure a bride appears elegant, courteous, considerate and kind throughout the entire wedding process.


1. Remember to thank everyone.
During the engagement season, the bride (and groom) will be showered with gifts at every occasion including the engagement party, bridal shower and wedding. Shortly after each gift is received, be sure to send out a personalized, handwritten thank-you card. This will go a long way as a show of your appreciation to your gift-bearer for them thinking of you. Also, if someone doesn't present you with a wedding or bridal shower gift, you should understand that they are not obligated to do so, and should appreciate them showing their support by attending the event held in your honor.


2. Keep your bridesmaids in mind.
A bridesmaid's job is to support the bride and make the stress that comes with the wedding process easier for her. That said, the bride should also consider her bridesmaids feelings when making decisions. For starters, the bride should request from her maids their budget for a dress, shoes, hair, makeup etc. and plan accordingly. Also, the bride should be sure to obtain special personalized thank-you gifts for all her 'maids. Making your bridesmaids feel special and showing your thanks for their support will help ensure your friendship continues long after the wedding is over.


3. Remember that the groom's opinion matters.
We tend to consider the wedding day as the bride's day; however, the groom should also feel included and his opinions heard. Keep your fiancé in the loop with all major aspects of wedding planning and welcome his suggestions. Keep in mind that this is the most important day of your lives as a couple and the wedding should reflect both your personalities and interests.


4. Respect your elders.
Parents and grandparents play a tremendous role in your lives and should feel special and honored at your wedding. At the wedding ceremony, make sure they are given flowers and priority seating at the venue/church. Consider creating a special table at the reception just for them with a slightly different decor or even a special sign designating the table is reserved specially for them. Keep in mind, some of your close guests may have dietary restrictions so do your best to work out accommodations in advance.

Refresh Your Spirit: 10 Tips to Relax and Unwind

Being a bride is blissful, but it's kinda tough too. Take time out and de-stress with one of our simple tips.

The road to the aisle can be a schizophrenic one. Some days it's filled with elation and happiness, other days it's a little, um, trying on your nerves. Here are 10 suggestions for what to do when stress takes its toll.

Get a Massage

Massage is the perfect way to relieve tension. Why not try a technique you've never experienced before? According to Kristen Haines, owner of NYC's Euphoria Spa, the hottest new technique (literally) is a Thai massage, in which hot herbal poultices (basically giant tea bags filled with detoxifying goodies, like turmeric, rice extract, and tamarind leaves) get pressed into tired muscles. It's performed in combination with more traditional deep tissue massage techniques for a totally invigorating result. Don't forget to drink lots of water on the day of your treatment; toxins are released during a massage and water helps flush them out of your system.

Take a Yoga Class

Or better yet, sign up for a package of yoga classes a month or two before your wedding. If you've never taken yoga before, choose a beginner class: The breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, and postures will have you totally centered by the time you hear wedding bells. If you don't have time for class, or if one isn't offered in your area, try a yoga DVD like A.M. and P.M. Yoga for Beginners or The All-Day Yoga Workout: A.M., Stress Relief, and P.M. Yoga for Beginners. (Even though these aren't the newest DVDs out there, they're still definitely among the best -- and bestsellers -- for beginners).

Soak in the Tub

A nice, hot bath will relax your muscles and your mind. For optimal stress-quenching results, add a bath salt that'll moisturize your skin and help you loosen up with a soothing scent. We love Aromatherapy Hydrotherapy Skin-Conditioning Fine Sugar Soak ($20, Bath & Body Works stores nationwide). It's packed with skin-soothing ingredients like sugar, oatmeal, and marshmallow, and its heavenly scent (calming chamomile, rose absolute, and myrrh) will help you do some serious zoning out. As long as you're lying around in warm water, use a pumice on your feet and a loofah on your knees and elbows for extra polish. You'll step out of the tub feeling completely refreshed.

Get Outside

When you need to clear your mind, there's nothing like getting a breath of fresh air -- literally! Take a brisk walk or jog outside -- maybe some music, no cell phone, just you. You don't have to get off the beaten path. Even a circuit around your neighborhood will work. Tune out what's going on around you (but still watch out for traffic!) and concentrate on the rhythm of your strides. You'll find yourself feeling pretty Zen in no time. And besides, an extra prewedding workout never hurt anyone!

Read a Book

There's no better time to score a page-turner than the few months before the wedding day. A good book can take you to another world for a while and give your scattered brain a rest. Why not read a novel that takes place where you're are headed on your honeymoon for an excellent sneakpreview?

Hit the Spa

Find a spa in your area that offers a day package (some even offer special bridal packages), sign up for treatments that you love or have never tried before, and enjoy a day of total relaxing indulgence. If you've never had a facial before, book your appointment at least two to three months before your wedding day (you never know how your skin will react, and the day of the rehearsal dinner is not the time to find out). A regular facial regime will leave your skin positively radiant.

Have Some H2O

When you're feeling swamped, it's totally natural to go for a caffeine fix. But coffee, soda, and energy drinks don't just jack you up -- they also dehydrate you, leaving you feeling even more worn out when the buzz wears off and you come crashing down later. Grab some water instead. If you're properly hydrated, you'll feel better overall -- less fatigued, fewer aches and pains, plus your skin will glow. For a soothing sip, make yourself a spa-style pitcher: Spike ice water with slices of orange, lemon, or lime.

Call Home

Even though you'll be celebrating with everyone soon, don't be stingy with the long-distance bill. Keep calling friends and family -- isn't that why you signed on for those free nights and weekends anyway? In the weeks before your wedding, talking with the folks you love most will keep you feeling connected and sane.

Start a Journal

The ideas and dreams racing through your mind right now are ones that you won't ever want to forget. There are books specially targeted to guide you and your partner with pages that prompt you to document everything from how you met to your shared future goals. But starting with a blank book is also wonderful and will encourage you to write in a stream-of-consciousness style.

Call In Sick

As naughty as it may seem, you deserve it. Use the day to get ahead on wedding planning that you've been putting off, or use it just to pamper yourself (see #1 to 9 above).

Read more: Refresh Your Spirit: 10 Tips to Relax and UnwindTheKnot.com - http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-beauty-tips/wedding-pampering-relaxation/articles/10-tips-to-relax-and-unwind.aspx#ixzz2mMfhpxrd

15 Signs You're Too Obsessed With the Wedding

Surefire ways to know when you've crossed the line — and how to bring back the bridal bliss.

      

By: Sharon Naylor

 

      

Being excited about your wedding is normal, but when you let it become an obsession, it totally takes the fun out of the experience! Too many brides allow their big day to become their all-day, everyday reason for living—annoying everyone around them in the process—and often, they don't even realize that they've gotten that bad. Read on for all the warning signs (and ways to reclaim your sanity).

1. You’re Too Obsessed If … You promised no wedding talk, but you do it anyway.

This can happen during date night or girls’ night out, and it frustrates the people who want to spend time with you.

How to Dial It Down: Tell loved ones, “If I start talking about the wedding, just tell me to stop.” This shows that you're aware you have a problem, and you'll all get a laugh each time they "catch" you veering into wedding mania. Have a sense of humor about it and friends and family will lighten up, too. What doesn't work? Giving them a dollar each time you mention the big day—that could get very expensive!

Photo Credit: Hoffer Photography

2. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re doing a lot of research but not making any decisions.

For instance, you’ve visited 10 floral shops for consultations, tried on 50 dresses, looked at 17 invitation designers’ portfolios…but you haven’t booked anything. You're too afraid to commit to one style or choice to the point where the pressure is driving you (and your groom) nuts.


How to Dial It Down: Start by jotting down a very detailed priority list for each major wedding decision you'll have to make (everything from your invitation to your cake), so that you and your groom both know your likes and dislikes. Armed with your wishlist, make a rule that you'll research lots of vendors online, but only schedule consultation appointments with the top three to five who meet all of your criteria. This organized approach will help you stop the indecisive cycle and find what you truly want.

Photo Credit: Meg Baisden

3. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re checking the weather report for the countries where your exotic flowers are grown.

The exception, of course, is if there’s the threat of a hurricane or some other natural disaster before your wedding, which would make checking weather reports understandable. But checking weather.com in Ecuador to see how the roses are doing? That’s just overdoing it.


How to Dial It Down: Accept that weather reports are not set in stone and one day’s predictions could shift from rain to sun and clouds to flurries. Limit your weather check-ins to a few days prior to the wedding and take the predictions with a grain of salt. Instead of fretting 24/7, spend your time planning a terrific Plan B in case the weather doesn't cooperate. When you know you have an alternate plan and a wedding coordinator who can handle it, you won't have to worry so much.

Photo Credit: Axioo Photography

4. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re telling friends that they can’t choose the same vendors or color palette as you.

Or you get angry when they've already selected similar preferences, even though they're getting married before you.


How to Dial It Down: Do a quick image search online and you'll see that no two orange-themed weddings look alike. Vendors create customized, one-of-a-kind details for each event they work on. Even if your bestie hires the same wedding planner and chooses tangerine as her main hue (like you), her day is going to be vastly different. Besides, no one in your social circle should look down on you because of something as trivial as this! If they do, then you need to find better friends.

Photo Credit: Hailey Erickson

5. You’re Too Obsessed If … You text your wedding coordinator ten times a day.

You may think you’re being attentive to detail, but texting your planner at 2 a.m. will do more harm than good, regardless of whether your wedding is a year from now or tomorrow.


How to Dial It Down: Ask your wedding coordinator what time of day is best to reach him/her with any questions you might have. Also take into account whether they prefer that you call, text, or email them. Write your urgent-seeming issues down on a list throughout the day. Seeing them on paper and getting it off your chest may even help you solve your own problem. Only contact them outside of working hours if it's truly a life-or-death emergency.

Photo Credit: Luciana Pampalone

 

6. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re planning your own bridal shower to "make it easy on your friends."

 

 

You started off just sending a few images and ideas, but you’ve escalated to "I’ll just do it" or "I know what I want for the cake, so I’ll just order it." If your maid of honor and bridesmaids just look at you with blank stares and reply, "who are you?" then you know.


How to Dial It Down: Only give your bridal party crucial input (i.e. "I'd prefer not to have an outdoor party, since I'm allergic to bees and it'll be too hot in August). Your MOH and 'maids need to know all of the essential info so that they can plan a party you'll love. Certainly tell them who you'd like to include on the guest list, but leave the theme, color, menu, games, and other details up to them. This is the fun part, so don't steal their enjoyment. Just trust them.

Photo Credit: Caroline Tran

7. You’re Too Obsessed If … You want your bridesmaids and flower girls to get spray-tanned for your wedding day.

It's not a requirement that all of your attendants' skin tones match! Remember that you're not on "The Jersey Shore," here.

How to Dial It Down: Just boot this one from your thoughts, since it would be Bridezilla-ish to require your ladies to undergo pricey spray-tan treatments they might not be comfortable with.

Photo Credit: Lindsey Tropf

8. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re skipping girls’ night out so that you can watch wedding reality shows on your DVR.

There’s nothing wrong with watching and re-watching your favorite reality shows about brides! They’re filled with ideas and inspirations. Plus, it's rewarding to see the happiness of the bride and groom after they’ve overcome so much in their planning.
 
How to Dial It Down: The key here is to make your friends a higher priority than anything on television. Plan relaxing nights out (or in) where you don't discuss anything wedding-related. Remember to still be the same friend you were before you got that shiny ring on your finger.

Photo Credit: François Dischinger

9. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re having nightmares about your wedding every night.

Your definition of a nightmare: The cake has buttercream frosting when you asked for fondant.

How to Dial It Down: Most brides have dreams about their weddings, since it is important to them, but when you’re having night terrors about insignificant details, it's a telling sign you've gone too far. Create a time limit for the planning to help ensure a peaceful slumber. Stop at, say, 7 p.m. and fill your mind with happier concerns, like snuggling with your groom.

Photo Credit: Timecut Photo

10. You’re Too Obsessed If … All of your Facebook posts are about your wedding.

Brags, worries, thinly-veiled swipes at your future mother-in-law – nothing is off-limits and your friends count is going down, down, down.

How to Dial It Down: Instead of venting where everyone can see, e-mail your maid of honor when you need a boost. It's fine to post the occasional happy photo or news update (your friends do enjoy sharing your joy!) but be sure to keep posting about other topics, like you did before you got engaged. Also don't forget to respond to friends’ posts with your Likes or comments.

11. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re posting pretty wedding images on Pinterest all day during work.

This could actually cost you your job if the bosses catch on or if your company monitors your online activities.

How to Dial It Down: Schedule a reserved Pinterest Time (such as an hour after dinnertime), where you wind down from your busy day with inspirational photos. Make it your evening ritual, but limit "research" to an hour only, so that your groom doesn’t feel abandoned while you’re zoned out in front of your computer.

12. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re calling your groom at work to talk about the wedding plans.

He may start off patient, but you’ll soon hear exasperation in his voice, and that can escalate into arguments.

How to Dial It Down: Don’t think that e-mailing him at work is better, since you’ll just sit there fuming when he doesn’t respond right away. Respect his worktime and the clear mind he needs to do his job – just like you need at yours – and don’t risk either of your jobs with personal calls. Make it a point to wait until you get home to discuss important wedding issues. Just allow him to decompress first—you don't want to overwhelm the poor guy with 20 tasks the second he walks through the door.

Photo Credit: Z DJ Photography

13. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re thinking of selling your grandmother’s jewelry.

You can't stop thinking about ways to save money so you can buy more things for the wedding.

How to Dial It Down: Lock those precious jewels in a lockbox and don’t even think about it. Family heirlooms are way too important to lose just to get a taller wedding cake or a designer dress.

Photo Credit: Maria Angela Photography

14. You’re Too Obsessed If … People are telling you to elope “for your own good.”

They’re worried about you, especially if your obsessions are making you stressed-out, angry, or depressed.

How to Dial It Down: If you’re experiencing symptoms of stress and depression, please visit your doctor. A professional can help you determine whether your wedding-related obsession is actually just a cover-up for deeper-rooted issues. In a few weeks, you’ll be back to your old self again…maybe even better.

Photo Credit: Meg Baisden

15. You’re Too Obsessed If … You’re thinking more about the wedding plans than you are about who you’re marrying.

How to Dial It Down: Tell your groom how lucky you are to spend the rest of your life with him, write him love notes, thank him for asking you to marry him, talk about the future you envision with him, and make sure he still has you right there with him. Be the woman he fell in love with, and bliss will be there…for both of you.

Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride

Wow, talk about bad manners! On Friday, we received a truly horrifying email from one of our readers that would make etiquette guru Emily Post turn in her grave. The reader, Tanya, told us about a recent Facebook message she received from a bride after attending her wedding last month. In the message, the bride expressed her dissatisfaction with the $100 wedding gift she received from Tanya and her date. You can read the message for yourself below, but we must warn you: Your blood WILL boil.

Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we gave $100 cash. This was generous considering my financial situation. I just finished university with $40,000 in student loans, and have only found part time (12-18 hrs per week) minimum wage work. I gave as much as I could and attended to show my support.Today I received a rude and condescending message from the bride via Facebook messenger: "Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike's and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn't expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you'll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything." [all sic]
It's infuriating that she had the nerve to make assumptions about my finances, and assume that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying around. Those $100 were hard-earned and she didn't show an ounce of gratitude for what she did receive. That money didn't grow on a tree. If she had a minimum gift requirement, she should have specified it...or asked everyone for income statements before inviting them.

Celebrity wedding planner and HuffPost Weddings blogger Sharon Sacks weighed in on the matter, calling this "an inappropriate response to a wedding gift."

"Weddings are a wonderful time to share with family and friends," she wrote in an email to The Huffington Post. "The expense and the cost of the wedding is solely the responsibility of the bride, groom, and their families, and never the people who are attending. I think people give with their heart and do the best that they can. I would hope that any bride and groom would understand.“

Wedding etiquette expert and HuffPost blogger Xochitl Gonzalez also commented on the Facebook message, saying that it's one of the most classless stories she's ever heard.

"There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift to a party to which they are invited, not even a wedding," she wrote in an email. "Though not required, it is a very nice thing to do, but there is certainly no base guideline for what you should give AND finally, it's certainly outrageous to question the amount, let alone the gift (i.e. the guy who gave the couple a gift basket and they freaked out). There is a disgusting trend emerging where people are not only passing judgment about the gifts they receive, but they are verbalizing it -- even on the Bravo show 'Newlyweds,' they showed one of the grooms mocking guests on TV for being 'cheap with gifts.' It's classless and tacky."