How Find a Ceremony Reading That Actually Means Something to You

Kinda feel like you hear the same readings at every single wedding ceremony? Sure, there's something to be said for traditional go-tos, but there's also something extra sweet about personalized selections. Readings that really represent you as a couple are so much more meaningful and memorable than overused ones.

 

But, since finding the perfect reading isn't easy, we're bringing you a few places to start your search!

 

 

Photo by Brianna Wilbur on Glamour & Grace via Lover.ly

Novels you love

Whether your favorite novel is Jane Eyre or The Fault in Our Stars, you won't have a hard time finding beautifully written declarations of love in classic and modern literature. And, hey, it's a good excuse to re-read a book you love!

Your favorite movie

If you two have a go-to rom-com for movie nights, look no further! Almost all romance movies have sweet (albeit occasionally cheesy) monologues of love — they’re basically begging to be used in wedding ceremonies.

The poet that speaks to you

Can’t get enough Robert Frost or Emily Dickinson? Love poems are beautiful additions to any wedding ceremony, so search for your favorite poet’s love poems. One of them is bound to touch you.

Photo by: Hartman Outdoor Photography on The Lovely Find via Lover.ly

 

The TV show you binge together

Did you two bond over episodes of Scandal or How I Met Your Mother? An Olivia Pope love quote or one of Ted Mosby’s many professions of love can be an out-of-the-box yet meaningful reading and a glimpse into your relationship.

Your favorite songs

When you really think about it, songs are just poems — so why not read them at your ceremony? But you might want to do a bit of editing to make a song poetic enough to read (removing “oohs” and “yeah yeah yeahs” is allowed).

A play or musical you saw together

Most stage productions have a love story entwined in the plot — and with that comes great scenes and songs all about love. Comb through the scripts of the ones you love or have seen together for sayings that speak to your heart.

When you’re searching for these ceremony readings, remember that your wedding ceremony doesn’t have to be serious the whole time! Don’t rule out a movie or book you love just because it’s full of one-liners.

What to Consider When Choosing Your Ceremony Music

While I’m always a fan of tradition, when recently deciding on the ceremony music for our upcoming wedding, my fiancé and I went a different route. We wanted something personal, to stand out from the crowd. Gone are the days of only having Pachelbel Canon to choose from but with all the options out there, it can be a bit overwhelming. Luckily we have NY Ceremony Music right here, sharing their insight from 15+ years of making magic happen.

TAP INTO YOUR EMOTIONS:

Evoking emotion is a core element to a ceremony and carefully chosen music never ceases to do just that. Some couples may have a special song that reminds them of the time they met and others may have a family song that’s cherished. Exploring songs that make you feel nostalgic is a great way to begin choosing your music selections.

MELODY IS KING:

Another key factor in choosing great music for your ceremony is the melody. When picking out a piece for an instrumental group, make sure the song has a strong melody for the musician to play. Lyrics are certainly relevant even for an instrumental group as your guests will likely have them going through their head if they recognize the song, however, without a strong melody, the piece may not translate well without the lyrics. Be selective. The Beatles for instance always have strong melodies in their songs. An easy trick to see if a song has a strong melody is to try humming it. If you can easily hum a melody, chances are the song will translate very nicely instrumentally.

PRELUDE FOR ALL:

The prelude is an essential part of the ceremony and it really sets the mood for the big day. And with that in mind, it’s important to know that the prelude music is for the guests. Every generation will be hanging out and socializing before the ceremony, so it’s really important to have a wide array of pieces that cover the scope of the generations attending the wedding. A good balance may be having some Louis Armstrong, Elvis and the Beatles as well as more modern groups like Radiohead, The Smiths, and The Fleetfoxes. Everyone should feel included and be able to appreciate this section of the wedding.

MAKE IT YOURS:

Over the past 15 years we have seen the ceremony evolve towards a more boutique and personalized occasion. The ceremony is a reflection of who you are. If Pachelbel Cannon or the Wedding March don’t reflect who you are, pick something which you have a personal relationship with. Pick a song that makes you truly feel a special emotion so that you will remember processing down the aisle to the love of your life for the rest of your life!

What Type of Wedding Ceremony Is Right For You?

    In this new age of wedding ceremonies, anything goes!

Unless a couple chooses to be married in a religious ceremony that will follow a time-honored religious protocol, they can be as creative as they like. The range of options is vast.

Finding your personal style is a matter of deciding the type of ceremony most suited to you and getting a sense of which rituals, blessings, prayers, readings, and cultural or religious aspects are personally meaningful.

As an interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant, I find it is all about blending. The first task is to assess the general type of ceremony that is right for each couple. The second is to seek ways to blend in the traditions they do like, with creativity, romance and personal touches.

These personal touches can be anything from aspects of their religions or cultures, to honoring and involving family, to including a humorous story about how they met or a poignant poem that captures their feelings. Or all of the above!

As a reference point, there are several types of weddings to choose from.

Traditional. These are typically faith-based and culled from the tradition the bride and groom were born into.

Non-denominational. A spiritual ceremony that includes reference to God, but does not adhere to any particular religious protocol.

Non-religious. Usually includes no reference to faith and typically does not mention God. (Some people call it a civil ceremony, but in fact a civil ceremony often mentions God).

Interfaith. This is a blending of two or more faiths, by including aspect of religion or religious rituals or readings that are symbolic of each faith.

Intercultural. This is a blending of cultures -- such as a Filipino veil ceremony with a Chinese red string ritual -- and yet can certainly also blend religious aspects.

Pop culture theme. This is usually a ceremony adapted from something that is part of popular culture and close to the hearts of the bride and groom. It may be a full ceremony dress as a knight and lady of the court, to including lines from Star Wars or Disney, to creating a ceremony based on a favorite romance novel or movie.

That said, from my perspective, you can do all of the above in one specially tailored ceremony. The biggest issue is deciding if you want to reference God at all -- some couples clearly do, but would rather not have religion, or clearly don't, and want to have something that is more about their love and relationship.

Here are some questions to consider about creating a personalized wedding:

1. Where does religion fit in -- or does it? Would you like to include an aspect of the faiths you were born into without the dogma? Do you want to include mention of God -- or would you prefer blessing upon your union without mention of Divine presence?

2. What kind of ceremony would be most suited to the two of you? Would you like something personal yet that includes aspects of your traditions? Would something romantic and offbeat be more your style?

3. What are your special needs? Think about the requirements you each may have. If you are of the same faith, is one of you more religious than the other? Since you hail from different cultures, how much do you want to honor your heritage and the traditions of your parents and family, etc?

4. What do you two truly want? Most importantly, be completely honest with one another (and then, your officiant). Make sure you are creating this ceremony for the two of you -- not just to please others.

Whichever path you follow, here's a mantra to help you create a ceremony that is all you own: "We will create our wedding ceremony our way!"

10 Things To Remember When You’re At The Altar

1. Thank whoever’s giving you away. Presumably, you’ve asked this person (or people) to give you away because you have some sort of special connection. Honor that relationship by making sure to thank them. A quick message whispered in their ear and a kiss on the cheek will do perfectly.


2. The words to your prayers. Whether it’s the Lord’s Prayer, the Sheva Berakhot or some other wedding reading that your minister, priest or rabbi will be leading the congregation in, make sure you know the words! It’s not like when you’re sitting in a row and can simply mumble the words–all eyes will be on you and what you’re saying. Take some time to memorize the readings ahead of time.

3. Smile. It might not feel natural to smile while you’re just standing there listening to someone else talk, but remember all eyes are on you. Just like you practice saying your own piece, you may want to practice listening to everyone else’s. Obviously you can’t really run through this with your partner, but try a bridesmaid. This is most important if you’re one of those people whose natural expression looks a bit unhappy or extremely serious.

 

 

4. Look at whoever is doing readings. First, it’s respectful. It’ll also help you keep you present and focused on what’s going on in the ceremony, since it’s pretty easy for your mind to get swept up in other things. And finally, the people doing the readings are probably just as nervous (if not more) than. Actively paying attention will give them a great vote of confidence.

 

 

5. Have good posture. Don’t get too caught up in thinking about this, but do remember that not only is everyone looking at you, but the camera is, too. Your stance at the altar will be captured forever in photographs. Make sure it’s a good one! This is something else to practice ahead of time–no slouching allowed.

 

 

6. Use a tissue. If you’re crying, that is. We hope you chose waterproof mascara for the occasion, but even so, it’s best to err on the side of safety. No bride wants makeup running down her face. If you don’t have anywhere on your dress to keep a tissue handy, ask your maid of honor to hold one for you. Just reach to her during the ceremony if you have the need.

 

 

7. Ask your bridesmaid for help with your train and veil. If your train or veil get crinkled or otherwise messed up at any time during the ceremony, appoint a bridesmaid to adjust or straighten either one out. She should also make sure the train is fanned out when you initially stop on the altar. If it’s an outdoor wedding with wind, ask her to hold your veil in place, too.

 

 

8. Thank the ring bearer. Just like whoever gave you away, you presumably have a relationship with the ring bearer. Make him feel special (and create a great photo opp) by thanking him or, even better, giving him a little kiss on the cheek or forehead

 

 

9. Speak loud and clear. Don’t mumble! We’ll say it again–don’t mumble! This one’s really important. You want the guests and, most importantly, your partner to be able to understand what you’re saying. Speak each word loudly, slowly and clearly so that everyone (even older guests) can make out every word. This is also important in making sure the ceremony is easy to understand in the video.

 

 

10. Why you are marrying this person. This, perhaps, is most important of all. We’ve given you a lot to think about, and as we already mentioned, you probably will have another thought (or two hundred others) running through your mind while you’re at the altar. All those things pale in comparison to this one. No matter what you do right or wrong before, during and after the ceremony, as long as you’re coming from a place of true love and commitment when you say each word… well, that’s just about as perfect as you can get.

 

 

 

Why NOT to Have a Friend or Family Member Officiate at Your Wedding

We had a friend Officiate our ceremony and he did a great job but there are those who's experience was not as great as ours as you can see below in this article.

Judith Johnson

Author, Speaker, Life Coach and Interfaith Minister

 

There is a popular trend these days to have a friend or family member go online to receive an ordination certificate in a matter of minutes so they can "legally" officiate at your wedding. While on the surface this might sound like a fun idea, a look below the surface reveals some really good reasons why this is NOT a good idea. As an interfaith minister who has been officiating at weddings for over twenty years now and as author of the bestselling book on wedding ceremony design, here are my top three really good reasons why you should hire a seasoned professional to officiate at your ceremony.

Some states do not recognize some online ordination credentials. The last thing you want to find out after your wedding is that you are not legally married. So, tread with caution. It is the state where your ceremony takes place, not the state where you live that has jurisdiction. Just as state laws about who can get married are changing, so are the laws regarding who can officiate at weddings. Not all online ordinations are equally acceptable, so be very specific in researching what sites are and are not acceptable in your state. Keep yourself informed about any changes that occur in these laws during the course of your wedding preparations.

There are a thousand little details that add up to a great ceremony. Which ones are you willing to have overlooked? Why put someone you love in the position of being responsible for something they know nothing about? Why not let your friend or family member enjoy being a guest at your wedding instead of bearing the burden of doing something so important that they know nothing about? Unless your friend or family member happens to already be a member of the clergy, why put this responsibility on them? Most couples and the friends and/or family member they choose to officiate are clueless about what goes into designing a ceremony, running a wedding rehearsal, or officiating at the ceremony. Think about it - would you hire a band for your reception that had never played together before? Would you want your wedding to be their first gig?

There are better, safer options. A seasoned officiant knows the in's and out's of advising you on the logistics of your rehearsal and ceremony as well as the design of the text and the ritual itself. They can be a wealth of information and ideas to help you create the ceremony that is perfect for you. They know what works, and what doesn't.

If you are worried about not belonging to a religious community, not wanting a stranger to officiate at your ceremony, or wanting to have control over what is said at your ceremony - no problem. There are three fabulous resources for finding the right officiant.

The first is to ask your wedding vendors. Typically, your first wedding decision is going to be your wedding date and location. Ask the wedding coordinator at your venue to share their impressions of the officiants on their preferred vendor list and to recommend the ones they think are a good match for you. Call these recommended officiants and/or make appointments to meet. Trust your instincts about who you are comfortable with, how resourceful and flexible they seem to be, and how they react to your story and wishes for your ceremony.

The second resource is to ask around among your friends. Ask your married friends who they had officiate at their ceremony? Were they pleased or not? Why? Ask friends and family if they attended any weddings where the officiant did a really good job.

Third, use regional wedding websites and major wedding websites that have regional vendor listings. Read the listings and reviews on officiants there. One of the most popular sites is http://www.weddingwire.com.

Your wedding ceremony is what your wedding day is all about. Give it the respect and attention it deserves as an expression of what crossing this threshold together really means to you. The person who officiates at your ceremony will have a lot of influence on what will hopefully become a beautiful memory for you. So, be thoughtful and careful in selecting the officiant who is right for you. Be as honest as possible about who you are and who you aren't. If someone rejects you because they don't share your beliefs, be glad you didn't hire them! Just keep looking for the right match. Find someone who is happy for you, is on your wavelength, and gives you confidence that they will help you create a wedding ceremony that exceeds your biggest dreams. You deserve that!