A Cop to Attend the Wedding of a Girl He Saved 20 Years Ago

Photo: Yonkers Police Department Facebook

 

Narrowing down your wedding guest list is a tough task. So when bride-to-be Shammarah Hamideh was selecting her final group of invitees, she knew one special man had to make the final cut: Captain Joseph Barca. Next weekend Hamideh will marry fiancé Mohammed Salah, but had it not been for the bravery of Barca two decades ago, the 20-year-old would not be here to walk down the aisle.
In 1993, Barca, who has been a member of the Yonkers Police Department for 44 years, responded to an emergency call where he found an unresponsive two-month-old girl. Quickly realizing the infant had stopped breathing, Barca performed CPR on Hamideh as the traveled to a local hospital. ABC News reports that by the time they arrived at the emergency room, the infant was breathing on her own again.


Ever since that harrowing day, the Hamideh family has remained close to Barca, his wife, Helen, and their three sons. "Her father said years ago that he gave her life the first time and I gave her life the second time," Bara told ABC. "That's the way they've been treating me ever since."

So it's no surprise that when Hamideh got engaged, she instinctively called Barca to share the happy news. "I consider him a second father," Hamideh said. Barca has celebrated birthdays, holidays, and even Hamideh's engagement party (seen above).

The veteran officer even went so far as to arrange his vacation schedule so he would be available to travel from New York to Chicago to see Hamideh marry her soon-to-be-husband. "I'm looking forward more so than just being an invited guests," Bara said. "Even though we haven't seen each other much, we feel that attachment."

It sounds like it will be a happy day for everyone involved!

Engagement Issues: Top 10 Wedding Fights (and How to Avoid Them)

You want a lovely wedding, but not at the expense of your relationship. If you're fighting about the wedding, here's how to deal.

Ah, engaged life. Fancy parties in your honor, a legitimate excuse to plunk down thousands for one dress. You never expected the downside: hissing at each other in bridal registry departments, screaming matches over the wedding guest list. The engagement period can be a minefield of hot topics that can trigger huge blowouts -- sometimes a seating plan is not just a seating plan.

"Planning the wedding is a trial run for your future marriage. The things you battle about now are clues to where you're going to have trouble in the future," says Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of True Partners: A Workbook for Building a Lasting Intimate Relationship. Here's what lies behind the most common prewedding blowouts -- and how to resolve them.

Family

"His family's guest list is getting longer and longer every day, and they're not even chipping in for the wedding."
Tessina warns that this particular argument is "a prototype for future financial dealings." Her advice: Be businesslike. Say to your beloved groom, "This is what your family's guest list will cost, this is what my family's guest list will cost. What can we do to limit the cost? Will your family chip in?"

Dr. Patrick Gannon is a licensed psychologist in private practice and the co-creator (along with his wife, Dr. Michelle Gannon, also a licensed psychologist) of Marriage Prep 101, a course designed for engaged couples. He suggests that there may be more here than meets the eye. "Always be on the lookout for conflicts like these to be about 'hidden issues.' Are either of you sensitive about issues of fairness or balance? Does one of you have a greater sense of obligation to your parents that the wedding be a certain way?"

Groom Involvement

"He doesn't even seem to care about the color of the table linens -- what is he, insane?"
Tessina warns that you could be expecting too much: "He's a man. Most men are clueless when it comes to design and decor." This doesn't mean that you should give up on including him, however. "Find out what he is interested in and encourage him to participate in that part," she says. Michelle Gannon concurs, and adds, "Make sure there are not any underlying issues; say that he feels he should defer to you because you are the bride so it's 'your day' or he feels that your parents or his parents are interfering with the wedding plans."

Money

You're spending big bucks on your dress; he wants to spend some of that cash to go to Bora Bora on the honeymoon.
This time, Tessina is not on the side of the bride. She asks, "What entitles you to spend big bucks on the wedding dress? This needs to be an equitable deal. At least the honeymoon is something you'll both enjoy. Sit down with him, like two adults, and work out the finances of the wedding together."

Religion

"Why isn't he making an effort to understand my traditions?"
Patrick Gannon advises first being sure that the groom understands what is expected of him -- the poor guy may not even know that you want him to learn about your traditions. Gannon suggests that this topic may even bring the two of you closer and says, "If handled calmly and sensitively, a discussion like this can be an opportunity to get to know yourself and your partner better just by getting clear about what these traditions mean and say about each other."

Aesthetics

He wants dark green ink; you want pale green. He wants candles on the tables; you think they look silly. And so on.
"So," comments Michelle Gannon, "you wanted your fiance to be more interested in the wedding details. Now you have a more involved groom, and a new problem. Both of you need to share the power and decision-making regarding wedding plans." She has a plan to accomplish that: "Decide on priorities by having each person rate on a scale of one to ten the importance of each detail. Remember, it's good practice to learn early on how to prioritize, negotiate, and compromise. These skills will come in very handy later on."

Territory

"Why does he think we should be married in New Jersey just because we live here? We need to be in South Carolina with my family. His relatives can fly in from Ohio."
"Ask that question for real, not just rhetorically," suggests Tessina. "Why does he want to get married at home? Maybe having friends at the party is more important to him than having family. That's a reasonable want. Perhaps you can scale things down and have a wedding at your family’s home and a party in New Jersey."

Friends

"For his best man, he picked his jerk of a college roommate who's just intent on getting my fiance drunk at our wedding."
It's time to be both supportive and sensible. According to Tessina, "He and his former roommate may have a strong bond -- just make sure there are some more reasonable men around them to keep a lid on things. Arrange with your brother or a male friend to befriend your fiance and help him resist the ploys of the best man." Patrick Gannon recommends sharing your anxiety with the groom, so you can handle the situation together. He says, "If the best man has a drinking problem, the groom might address his concerns directly to the best man before the wedding."

Bridezilla Behavior

He says, "Who is this detail-obsessed, wedding-magazine-reading woman and where is the girl who used to sit with me watching baseball and drinking beer?"
Drop the Martha act. Your guy may have a point. "He's right," says Tessina. "If the wedding has become more important than your relationship, that's a warning sign. Yes, you want a lovely wedding, but not at the expense of your relationship. After all, what's the point? Keep your future in mind."

Prenups

"Why is he so intent on planning our divorce when we aren't even married yet?"
This could be a blessing in disguise, according to our experts. "If you pay attention, the prenuptial agreement can be as big an asset for you as it is for him," says Tessina. "It's another way to discuss essential financial issues before you commit." Naturally, the prenup brings up more than just finances for many couples. "This is usually experienced as an emotional issue between the couple, often involving feelings of trust, commitment, and faith in each other and the future of the marriage," says Patrick Gannon. "Don't let this issue remain unresolved, because it can erode the love you have for each other."

The Past

He is good friends with an old girlfriend and wants her to attend the wedding. You wouldn't mind if she were dead.
Tessina minces no words on this topic. "Oh, grow up. You've already won this battle -- he chose you. Don't mess up things now by being petty and jealous. Those are not becoming traits. Befriend her, get to know her, and you may like her yourself. Invite her to help with a shower. If you're too insecure to do that, perhaps you should rethink getting married. You may not be ready." Michelle Gannon points out, "You two need to discuss how involved ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends are going to be in your life together."

-- Lisa Carse

Lauren SullivanTODAY

  

Some people call me dramatic. I like to say I exaggerate for effect. But everyone admitted my freak-out was warranted when, three weeks before my wedding last October, I found myself without a wedding dress.

I want to blame the downtown boutique that sold me my first dress (traumatic details on that below), but looking back, I realize that every predicament I found myself in was actually preventable — it’s just that I didn't know what to expect. Allow me to spare you from making the mistakes I made.

1. “Say Yes to the Dress” is not real life
There will not be a crowd of 12 hooting, hollering or happy-crying when you walk out in “the dress.” Most stores (including Kleinfeld, where #SYTTD films) only let you bring two people — maybe three — to your appointment.

My tip: Invite the most honest person you know and the most sensitive person you know. My mom (honest) would tell me if a dress flat-out didn’t work (after trying dozens on, sometimes you lose touch with reality). And my aunt (sensitive) told me I looked beautiful in everything. And my friends stayed home.

Shannon Collins

 

My hubby and I got married at the quaintest bed-and-breakfast in Philadelphia.

 

2. If you don’t wear strapless dresses in real life, don’t wear a strapless dress on your wedding day
Ninety percent of the wedding dresses you’ll look at will be strapless, which makes absolutely no sense when you think of how few real-life dresses are strapless. I was talked into buying a strapless dress — "Have an open mind!" — even though I've never worn one in my life. (Except when those Juicy Couture felt-y dresses were briefly a thing. Was that Summer '05?) Your wedding day is not the day to try a new style.

3. If a dress does not look good on you at the store, don’t believe “It’ll fit better in your size”
I was told the sample I tried on would work when it arrived in my size — that I wouldn’t even need a bra. (That should have been a red flag; I have a size D cup). When my strapless dress arrived, I was shocked to find it offered no support to my rack. When I brought it to a seamstress, she suggested spaghetti straps. SPAGHETTI STRAPS.

4. Go to a store with an in-house seamstress
If the dress comes in and does not work on your body (did I mention the spaghetti strap suggestion?), you’ll want the store that sold you the dress to feel invested in the final result. Plus, in-house seamstresses are familiar with the dresses on their boutique’s racks, and know ahead of time what’s possible and what’s not.

5. If you don’t go to a store with a seamstress, splurge on a good one
I took my ill-fitting strapless dress to the (relatively) cheaper of two recommended seamstresses for a fitting. After hearing I needed to deconstruct the entire dress over the course of a month to make it work (“You have large breasts! You need a bra!”), I took it to a pricey New York City tailor. She didn’t fix the dress I hated, but she offered lots of options — and she didn’t make me cry.

Shannon Collins

 

This is me crying. Not because I am marrying my best friend, but because I finally found a dress.

 

6. If you cry hard enough, a store will stay open late for a consultation
This is the part where I return the strapless dress.

J. Crew’s wedding dresses are simple and wonderful — and can be shipped overnight. After I realized that the first dress I bought — which was lost and delayed even though I'd paid to have it rushed — would not fit the way the boutique I bought it from said it would, I found myself sobbing and wandering the streets aimlessly. Then, a friend told me to get to J. Crew. Staffers offered me Pellegrino and tissues and told me they were booked solid, but that if I came back at 8 p.m. (after the store closed!), they would squeeze me in. And they did! Into a dress that arrived at my front door by noon the next day.

7. Pre-owned dresses are awesome
Until I found myself without a dress just 20 days before my wedding, I didn’t consider wearing a pre-owned dress. But, while waiting for my last-minute J. Crew appointment, I scoured the Internet for other off-the-rack options, and found that one I absolutely loved — a whimsical Alberta Ferretti gown WITH straps (not spaghetti!) — was being sold for one-third of its original cost by a girl within driving distance. I made it to her apartment, tried on her dress (which was in perfect condition, having only been worn once) and wrote her a check.

I’m not the only bride to deal with wedding dress drama; when I shared my saga with my coworkers, everyone seemed to have a helpful tip — the kind of advice that could have saved me a lot of stress.
So from us to you, here’s what TODAY newlyweds wish we’d known before buying a wedding dress:

Rebecca Davis / TODAY

 

Bobbie Thomas married in a Le Spose di Gio gown on May 31, 2013.

 

8. Keep an open mind
As you know, I let TODAY.com viewers pick my dress ... and for me, it was probably best to let go and just trust. I swooned for a dramatic navy blue floral Douglas Hannant ball gown and then considered a sweet simple white cotton maxi dress. I can be indecisive, and with six weeks to plan everything, it helped to have some boundaries. - Bobbie Thomas, TODAY style editor

Charisse Larado

 

Charisse got married at the Bel-Air Bay Club in Los Angeles.

 

9. Don’t be scared to hate your “dream” dress
I walked in with a clear image of what type of dress I wanted and ended with something TOTALLY different. You have to be able to kill your darlings… even in the dressing room. - Charisse Larado, TODAY producer

10. Don’t commit to a dress until you’ve set the date and picked your location
What you love might not fit with the season and/or venue you ultimately book. A silk dress for a summer southern wedding? You’re going to sweat straight through that puppy! - Charisse Larado

11. If you buy a dress that you hate, don’t worry
You can always buy another one and resell the first dress online. - Charisse Larado

Amsale

 

Katie's getting married in September in Cape Cod. (No sneak peeks!)

 

12. If you order within the six-month mark, you can be charged a rush fee
Be sure to make a decision before six months to go hits (if you aren't planning on buying off the rack). - Katie Buckley, TODAY producer

13. Don't feel pressured to buy the veil or accessories from the bridal salon
Shop around for accessories. A bridal boutique in New York tried to sell me a veil for $1,100. I took a photo, brought it to a fabric store in the Garment District, and they made the same one for around $375. - Katie Buckley

Adagion Studio; Vivian Fel Solomon

 

Vivian married at the Ritz-Carlton in Naples.

 

14. Go to a store where you can actually walk through and touch dresses, feel fabrics, etc.
Pictures of dresses and actual dresses can feel quite different. - Vivian Fel Solomon, TODAY producer

15. Trust your gut
I was surprised to like a lot of dresses on! And any of them would have totally worked. But there is *one* that sticks in your head. Take a walk after trying dresses on to clear your head…and you will keep thinking and imagining yourself in the *one*. It's subjective. You have to love it. - Vivian Fel Solomon

Kate Osborne

 

Amy married in a church on Manhattan's Upper West Side.

 

16. Eat a good meal before you go shopping...
...Even if you think you want to be as slender as you can be for the experience. If you get hungry, you will get cranky and that makes everything worse. I become an emotional, indecisive mess on an empty stomach, so I downed a Chipotle burrito before heading to the bridal shop. Keeping it classy. - Amy Eley, TODAY.com producer

17. Keep an eye out for sales at the store even after you buy the dress
J. Crew ran a 30-percent off sale on wedding dresses three weeks after I bought my gown. I called and they honored the new sale price. Cha-ching! - Amy Eley

18. If your dress has sleeves, make sure you can lift your arms up
I could not, and I didn’t realize that until my wedding day when I went to hug my husband. - Amy Eley

19. Don’t buy a smaller dress and put that pressure on yourself to lose weight before the big day
J. Crew only had a size 2 left of my gown. I am not a size 2 (never have been) but I convinced myself that I could chug green juice and exercise every day and then I would be a size 2. Guess what? My wedding day came around and I was still not a size 2. Breathing was a major struggle. - Amy Eley

20. Wear the same bra to your fitting that you’ll wear on your wedding day
A tip from my seamstress to get that bodice fitting just right. - Amy Eley

Steph Goralnick

 

Meena and Adam Duerson wed in Montauk in September of 2011.

 

21. It's ok to get cold feet — about your dress
It’s normal to regret your wedding dress in the months between buying it and actually getting to your fittings, since you don’t get to spend that much time in the dress before you have to pull the trigger — and then you have to wait so long for your actual gown to arrive.

I bought a dramatic, mermaid-style dress — exactly the opposite of what I thought I would end up with — because when I put it on, it felt amazing and fun. But in the months before my fittings, all I had to remember it by was a blurry photo snapped by one of my friends from a bad angle, and I started to feel like I’d made a huge mistake. I couldn’t stop thinking about another dress I’d almost bought, a slim, silky cut. As I waited for my dress to arrive, this other dress loomed large in my memory. But sure enough, when I finally put my dress on, the original feelings flooded back — I was so happy! — exactly what I wanted.

If you loved it when you bought it, don’t stress! As long as you were sure it was “the one” when you put it on and it makes you feel beautiful and happy, then it will still make you feel that way when it’s time for you to actually wear it. - Meena Duerson, TODAY.com editor

You see, it shouldn’t have to be that hard!

9 Couples Who Know That Weddings Are Just An Excuse To Have A Good Time

Between the romantic vows and the heartfelt toasts, there are plenty of serious (but beautiful!) wedding moments. So it's our firm belief that the rest of the wedding should be a party -- and parties, in case you've forgotten, are fun.


Below, nine funny wedding signs from couples who simply refuse to take weddings or themselves too seriously.

pseudodesigner/Imgur
You've been warned.

Dustin Lewis Images

Don't mess with this ring bearer.

Pavone Photography

If the DJ plays "Sweet Caroline," all bets are off.

 

Larissa Cleveland Photography

The tie that binds.

Marcio Cavalcanti Photography

Excellent point.

Angela Sackett, Legacy Seven Studios

The epitome of happiness.

PW Photography

Tellin' it like it is.

The Nichols

Nailed it.

ThrowAwayPete/Reddit
There's no love like gamer love.

Money Monday: 5 Ways to Save Money on Your Wedding

The average wedding price has hit north of the $29,000 mark, but you can still create the wedding of your dreams without busting the bank. Here are a few tips for creating your perfect wedding while ensuring that your marriage starts off on a solid financial footing.

Set a budget, – decide what’s important and what’s not.

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of wedding planning and loose track of how much you’re actually spending. Your wedding is but a fraction of your larger financial picture. Setting a budget ensures that your wedding expenses don’t destroy the rest of your finances.
In the process, you’ll be forced to prioritize and identify what is most important to you as a couple. You may, for instance, chose to cut corners on wedding favors and invitations while allocating your precious dollars to securing a top-notch wedding photographer.

Think outside the box.

June weddings may be classic, but you can save serious money by holding your nuptials during off-peak months between November and March. If a summer wedding has always been your dream, consider a Friday or Sunday wedding date in order to take a serious bite out of your wedding costs. Thinking outside the box can pay off big when picking a reception venue as well. Non-traditional locations such as a lake, vineyard, public park, alumni college location, or family member’s backyard can shave thousands off your wedding bills.

Purchase the ring online.

While most men purchase engagement rings from traditional retailers, real savings can be found online. The biggest and most trusted player in the online diamond game is Blue Nile. Blue Nile offers a wide selection of GIA certified diamonds and wedding jewelry. The biggest advantage is that their prices run as much as 35% cheaper than traditional retailers.
But, for those who still prefer a more traditional approach, it pays to do the research. How to Buy a Diamond: Insider Secrets for Getting Your Money’s Worth by Fred Cuellar and the Diamond Ring Buying Guide by Renee Newman are two books which can save you money and prevent you from being taken for a ride when approaching your local jeweler.

Get the wedding dress for less.

For most women, a wedding dress will be worn once and never again. While sentiment may influence some women to purchase an expensive wedding dress, practicality drives others to find ways to slash the cost of the dress. Services like The Frock Shop allow women to rent their wedding dress for the special day. In the same vein, websites such as PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com allow ladies to purchase gently used wedding dresses.
If renting or purchasing slightly used dresses is not your style, consider purchasing a white bridesmaid’s dress or formal dress and having it altered into a wedding gown. Alternatively, an experienced seamstress can often create a traditional wedding gown at a much lower price than traditional retailers. Finally, don’t forget that many mainstream retailers like Target, J Crew, and Ann Taylor now feature bridal selections at reasonable prices.

Cut your food and alcohol costs.

Food service at your wedding doesn’t have to be formal. As long as the food tastes good your guests are guaranteed to leave happy. Spend your time, for example, finding a local caterer renowned for their food, and feature a buffet style reception. Know of a local chicken joint that serves off the chain food? Ask them if they’ll deliver for your special day.
And remember, it’s not your job to guarantee that your guests leave with a buzz. Instead of an open bar, consider providing just a few alcoholic selections – champagne for the toast and a keg of beer – and allow your guests to purchase alternatives from a cash bar. You may also consider having an open bar for a limited number of hours. The money you save on alcohol could go a long way to starting your marriage on the right financial footing.

Till debt do us part?


From beachside nuptials to extravagant floral arrangements, it's no shocker that weddings can cost a pretty penny. Just how much, though, may surprise you. According to wedding planning website TheKnot, the average cost of a wedding in America last year was roughly the price of a new car, or about $30,000 (excluding the honeymoon).


For its annual Real Weddings Study, released March 27, TheKnot surveyed 13,000 brides and grooms across the country and sourced statistics on everything from "location fees" to tuxedo costs. It found that tying the knot just keeps growing more expensive, despite the trend for casual weddings. The average wedding cost in 2013 was the highest since the website began monitoring prices in 2007.
One cause may be couples' greater attention to guest experience.


"Couples are more focused than ever on creating a unique, personalized and once-in-a-lifetime experience for their guests -- plus they're doing so in a modern way, by planning from their smartphones, publicizing details on social media and more," Carley Roney, co-founder of The Knot, said in a statement.


Overwhelmed by images of celebrity wedding extravagance and a surplus of wedding planning glossies, couples are pressured to put on a show-stopping Big Day.


"We've created this fairy tale thought in our mind of what our wedding has to be, and it has to be perfect," Stacy Francis, the CEO of financial planning and wealth management firm Francis Financial, told USA Today.

The survey of TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com members revealed some other interesting data about modern weddings:

Most expensive place to wed: Manhattan, $86,916 on average

Average marrying age: bride, 29; groom, 31

Wedding dress cost: New York City (and Long Island) brides spent the most money on their gowns ($3,027 and $2,160, respectively), while brides in Alaska and Oklahoma spent far less ($804 and $859, respectively)

To trim costs and score vendor deals, financial planning website LearnVest has some incredible tips from recent bride Jane Bianchi, who saved $21,000 on her big day.

8 Ways to Soothe Yourself During Wedding Freak Outs

LWA via Getty Images

 

Are you freaking out about your wedding? Here are 8 ways to get calmer, fast!


1. Get pampered. Research shows that massage is a great way to relieve stress. For the best stress relief, try foot reflexology. It is like a heavenly foot rub, but more importantly, says leading reflexologist Laura Norman, author of Feet First, "It targets specific areas of the feet that represent organs, and areas of the body. It helps bring healing and rejuvenation, gives you energy and relaxes you." Working on the feet has a way of grounding you and bringing you back into your body.


2. Meditate. Studies show meditation is good for you. There are many ways to include meditation in your pre-wedding self- care plans. You might choose to learn a formal meditative practice, such as TM (Transcendental Meditation) or use a popular meditation CD or video. Or just take 10 minutes a day to be quiet and still. The act of taking time out to slow down, reflect, release tension, and center yourself will do wonders to help you cope with stressful parts of wedding planning. "Meditation helps us to take a break from chaos," says meditation and ritual expert Barbara Biziou. "If a bride makes some form of meditation a regular part of her well-being routine she will find that she wastes less and less energy on worry and reactive behavior and that her capacity for coping with wedding ups and downs increases."


3. Talk to someone. Whether you have a designated listener, a support group, or a therapist, make sure you have a way to blow off steam, work out stress, communicate about fears, and complain about wedding annoyances in a safe place -- without driving friends nutty. Also make sure also you do not get stuck in a state of complaining or whining. Consider connecting with other brides. No one understands better than someone in the same "sorority." There are many websites, such as The Knot, where brides share their experiences, swap ideas, refer vendors, and commiserate about the downside of wedding planning. Or, unload your wedding woes and worries at Confessions of a Bridezilla.


4. Connect with women folk. Many cultures insist on rituals designed to pamper the bride. In some African cultures, women folk adorn the bride with native jewelry before her wedding. In the Hindu tradition, women gather for Henna decorating of the bride and each other and make sure the bride is rested for her wedding day. In China, there is an ancient custom of combing the bride's hair, where a friend or relative runs the comb through for good fortune. In Turkey, "the bride often takes a five day break from premarital stress," according to Timeless Traditions by Lisl Spangleberg. "They pamper themselves and take time relaxing with friends." Look into your own culture for ways to connect with women folk. Also important: Spend non-wedding time with friends, just to relax and unwind, whether it's sharing a meal, a drink, or a cup of tea.


5. Soak and shower. Nothing is more healing than a hot bath and nothing is more cleansing than a shower after a long day of doing "wedding stuff." Water is one of the five sacred elements, and baths and showers cleanse and purify the body. To restore electrolytes to the body, put a cup each of sea salt and Epson salts in you bath and dunk your self completely a few times. In the shower, enjoy a standing meditation and allow the water to wash away your worries and carry them down the drain. There are also aroma therapy bath oils and scented candles that can fill the bathroom with an uplifting or relaxing energy.


6. Breathe. Taking time out to literally catch your breath is something you can do anywhere, any time. "One gateway back into the body is conscious breathing," says author and sex coach, Dr. Patti Britton. "Consciously follow your breath in and out, for maybe four or five minutes. It helps anchor you back inside your skin." If you need a boost of energy, or a moment of stress reduction, breathing can bring immediate relief.


7. Journal. Writing down your deepest thoughts, and documenting your feelings during this time of transition is a great way to make it smoother. It's a chance to release what upsets you onto paper, and is also a way to write down goals and create new ones. Just taking 15 minutes a day to journal can do wonders for adjusting your attitude and enhancing feelings of confidence and hopefulness. "Journaling is a great way to help a bride reduce stress before her wedding," says Dr. Linda Olson, clinical psychologist and therapist based in New Canaan, CT. "The physical act of writing and the visual act of seeing the written word is therapeutic."


8. Pray, daydream and make wishes. It is so important to take time every day to make a wish, get lost in a day dream, or say a prayer when you need support. Don't be shy about taking time to lovingly fantasize about your big day. It will make you feel good to focus on your vision for your wedding and will bring a smile to your face. Remember, when you smile it is impossible to frown or feel stressed.


Planning a wedding can be like having another job. In general, make sure you take time off from wedding planning each week to chill.

3 Reasons To Consider A Family-Style Wedding Menu

By Kellee Khalil for Lover.ly
The wedding menu that you and your partner design together with your caterer is just as important as the way in which you serve it. Does your wedding have a more formal feel? Then a plated dinner may be best. Perhaps your fete is much more casual? Think about hosting a buffet. And if your wedding falls in between the two, there’s one serving style in particular that you should definitely consider: family style. Here are our top three reasons why family style will be most popular wedding food trend in 2014.

Photo by: Steve Steinhardt Photography on Inspired By This via Lover.ly

1. It's less expensive. Similar to buffets, family-style meals are typically less expensive than their plated counter parts. Why? Although a wait staff is still needed to serve your meal, a much smaller team is required overall. And the smaller size of the team is indicative of the time you'll need to allot for dinner; your guests will enjoy their meal at a quicker pace leaving plenty of room in your timeline for toasts, cake, and tons of dancing.



Photo by: Braedon Flynn Photography on Grey Likes Weddings via Lover.ly

2. It's casually elegant. One complaint about buffets is they are not quite as elegant as a formal dinner where each guest remains seated and is served individually. Family-style meals create a great middle ground -- guests are seated but served in a slightly more casual way, making this style perfect for almost any style of wedding (think: rustic, garden, or backyard).



Photo by: Scott Andrew Studio on Snippet and Ink via Lover.ly

3. It creates a warm atmosphere. One of the greatest hallmarks of holidays spent with family is listening to everyone talking around the table. The same feeling can be achieved at weddings with family-style meals. Whether your guests have known each other for years or have met moments before, passing plates creates a way to start the flow of comfortable conversation. (Decor hint: Add candles to your centerpieces to enhance the warm and elegant atmosphere!)


What are your tips and tricks for choosing your wedding menu and serving style?

These Oscar Gowns Would Make Glamorous Wedding Dresses

The Oscars are a great place to look for wedding dress inspiration, and this year, celebs walked the red carpet and partied the night away in white hot gowns that could easily double as dresses for the big day.

From Kristen Bell's strapless Cavalli gown to Kelly Osbourne's Badgley Mischka number, Sunday's Academy Awards almost looked like the runway during Bridal Fashion Week -- and we couldn't be happier about it!

Check out the bridal-inspired Oscar dresses below.

Giuliana Rancic

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

In Paolo Sebastian.

Kelly Osbourne

Steve Granitz/WireImage

In Badgley Mischka.

Tara Lipinski

Steve Granitz/WireImage

In Rani Zakhem.

Cristin Milioti

Kevin Mazur/WireImage

In Reem Acra.

Kristen Bell

Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

In Cavalli.

Maria Menounos

Kevin Mazur/WireImage

In Johanna Johnson.

Portia de Rossi

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In Naeem Khan.

Lara Spencer

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In Kaufmanfranco.

Jenna-Dewan Tatum

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In Reem Acra.

Cate Blanchett

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In Armani Privé.

Paula Patton

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In Celia Kritharioti.