My
mom doesn't live in NYC and my friends work in offices during the day,
so I decided to brave the Manhattan salons and boutiques solo. Here are
my lessons in bodices, butts, and budgeting...and how I found my Fairy
Gownmother.
BHLDN - $
BHLDN (important: pronounced "beholden" not "B-H-L-D-N") was my first stop. If you haven't heard of BHLDN, it's
Anthropologie's
wedding line. Unique and affordable, BHLDN curates beautiful gowns and
accessories from international designers and sells them online and
in-store. I loved the dresses I saw online and was convinced that
one in particular was MY DRESS but I couldn't find it A N Y W H E R E because it was discontinued (yeah, they do that, and yes, I tried looking on
Tradesy,
OnceWed, and
PreownedWeddingDresses.com...and
called around to every BHLDN in America), so I booked an appointment
with Amy at the Upper East Side location on a Tuesday afternoon in hopes
of finding something similar to the dream dress.
I arrived late
(because trains) and met with a stoic Amy on the bridal showroom floor
of Anthropologie. They had about 20 dresses on display and Amy asked me
to point to the ones I liked. I didn't like any of them really, so I
stroked a few fabrics I thought were nice and kind of poked at stuff I
didn't (sequins, crystals, wedding buttons, hoop skirts). I also showed
her a picture of my lost gown, hoping it would jog her memory and she
would pull it from some secret discontinued gown rack in the
Anthropologie basement. She did not, and instead told me to undress and
wait for her in a dressing room while she chose my dresses for me. I
immediately congratulated myself for wearing undergarments and waited in
one of the warmly lit bride boxes until Amy returned with an armful of
gowns.
The options she chose for me were great; tasteful and clean
Badgley Mischka
designs, and a couple boho style gowns. Every dress was in my price
range, the most expensive hitting the $1500 mark. After wrestling me
into seven or so, Amy was friendly and offered to take 360-degree phone
shots of me in each and every dress. I sent each posey panorama to my
parents and friends and everyone had different opinions and it was
tiring.
In the end?: I didn't go with any of the
dresses here. Nothing took my breath away and while all the gowns were
beautiful, I didn't see mine. Still, BHLDN is a perfect option for the
bride on a budget or any bride who wants a gorgeous dress for a steal.
This was my first experience wedding dress shopping and where I learned
that A. it's good to wear underwear sometimes and B. most of the time,
consultants don't let you pick the dresses you want to try on. I miss
Amy and would like to hang out with her outside of BHLDN, maybe in a
park for iced coffees or like, a Bravo night in, my place or hers, it
really doesn't matter. Her place is probably cleaner.
Reformation - $
Okay,
I like Reformation and their low-impact, highly Instagrammable Easy Ups
for it-girls. And guess what?! They have a very small bridal line!
Reformation isn't exactly "so me" because I'm definitely poor and
unstylish, but their wedding dresses are in the same price range as
BHLDN, which is great. On the internet, Reformation's wedding gowns are
beautiful. Long, chic, painted on the models like a nuptial sealant,
these garments are on-trend, like you could wear them to a hide-and-seek
garden party in Bushwick and not get side-eye from the other guests.
No
appointment was needed to try on the gowns, so I showed up at the Lower
East Side location unannounced. The store smelled so good, like chopped
wood and Greek yogurt and clean hair. I was immediately greeted by two
girls wearing different wide-brimmed hats and dark lipsticks, who were
both very excited when I told them I wanted to view their bridal line.
One girl ran downstairs and reappeared with their entire line (3
dresses) and told me their internet was broken so it would be a few
minutes before I could try them on (...). I didn't question her,
thinking maybe Reformation had built some sort of wifi-operated Ava/Ex
Machina robot consultant (which I would have been TOTALLY game for). I
sat on an oversized woodblock for a half an hour, chewing my nails, and
watching the Hat Girls try on sandals and laugh at each other. Time
slipped away, until Hat Girl #2 flicked a dressing room curtain, gave me
permission to enter, and quickly left me alone with the dresses. I was
relieved that neither Hat Girl would be present for my undressing, and
massively bummed that there wasn't a robot consultant in sight.
These
dresses were so easy. Completely free of bells and whistles,
Reformation's wedding line is lighter than Popchips and felt like
wearing sexy nightgowns. I probably tried on their whole line in under
three minutes.
In the end?: Reformation's
wedding dresses weren't for me. While the dresses were comfortable and
cheap, they didn't make me feel special. I guess I learned at
Reformation that I wanted something special. And a robot consultant.
Disappointing.
Adrienne's - ?
My
experience at Adrienne's was non-existent. The store looked close to my
apartment on Google Maps, so I called and made an appointment on a
whim. When I arrived, I was surprised at how dingy Adrienne's looked
from the outside. Along with the tinted windows that made the store look
like an escape vehicle, there were sale bins and racks of dirty
bridesmaids and wedding dresses outside on the street.
In the end?:
I didn't go inside, met up with a friend for lunch, and forgot to
cancel the appointment. Truly, my bad. I received an angry phone call,
from whom I assumed was Adrienne, and I genuinely apologized for
forgetting to cancel the consultation. At Adrienne's, I learned to
always call to cancel a consultation, even if the store looks like a
place for smuggling rhino horns.
Lovely Bride - $$$
Lovely
Bride in TriBeCa is faaabbbullouuuss. This was my first experience in a
real bridal salon and it was everything I'd hoped for: mothers and
daughters and friends sipping tea on fleshy armchairs cooing at their
bride/niece/bestie standing on a box, consultants speaking in soft,
clipped sentences rushing in and out of dressing rooms trailing heavy
stacks of rejected, creamy fabric behind them. Crying brides, happy
brides, miffed brides, and a sassy receptionist who likes to remind
clients that "she's got you." In Lovely, all your bridal worries are
numbed by the blush and warm and sparkle of the place, like you're on
painkillers, or suspended in the womb of a very wealthy person.
My
consultant was named Lindsay and she was very sweet, even when I told
her my budget was under $2,000. We walked along the aisles of gowns in
the back of the store, every once in a while Lindsay would pull a crop
top or a tulle skirt separate from the racks, reiterating that these
were my options in my price range. The moment you realize you're out of
your league in a bridal salon is kind of an embarrassing one. You're
vulnerable and stuck in an hour-long appointment with a stranger who
sells things to richer people than you eight hours a day; to walk out is
admitting defeat, to stay means driving yourself further into debt. So
like an intelligent person who sticks to her budget, I stayed and tried
on dozens of gorgeous dresses that I couldn't afford. I halfheartedly
told Lindsay that if I found "the one" I'd spring for it. She offered to
sell me a faded, stained sample I really liked for $3,000; twice my
budget. I told her yes of course I'd come back and buy it on Friday. We
had a deal.
In the end?: I didn't buy the
sample. I emailed on Thursday and cancelled the second appointment to
buy, and told her I couldn't afford it. Somehow, admitting defeat was
easier via email. She never responded and I was sent an
auto-cancellation from Lovely the next day. In Lovely I learned this:
Just wait. Don't let the wedding industry intimidate or coax you into
overpaying for anything, especially A DRESS. And also, don't fool
yourself. If you can't afford something, it's okay. There are millions
of wedding dresses out there. Wait, wait, wait.
The White Gown - $$
I
was tired when I walked into this 5th floor studio in Midtown. The
White Gown was empty and dark, I think the staff hadn't turned the
lights on yet. The place felt like a Manhattan apartment, a sad one,
stuffed with dresses and rhinestone ribbon belts. I was drowsily
welcomed by Portia, who asked me what kind of dress I was looking for. I
told her I didn't like strapless, lace, or glitter, and that something
simple would work. Portia led me over to a pair of wide windows facing
an office building and told me to undress behind a curtain. She went to
pick my dresses for me (a pet peeve of mine at this point) and I waited
in a black bathrobe. Portia returned with two lace dresses, one sequined
gown, and a strapless dress, all unattractive, none of which I asked
for, and none worth their price tag. I tried them on to be polite, but
explained they just weren't my style. Portia didn't seem to care, which
is fine, we were both tired.
In the end?: I
didn't like this place or what they had to offer. Portia was clearly out
of it. I left The White Gown discouraged and a little put off. At The
White Gown, I learned I needed coffee and that I should figure out a way
to talk about what I wanted in a wedding dress, because somehow, it was
getting lost in translation.
RK Bridal - $-$$
Located
by the Chelsea Piers, this store was a trek on foot from the East
Village, and when I arrived, I was wiped out. No appointment necessary, I
took the elevator up to the 6th floor and walked into the sprawling, RK
Bridal. This place is HA-UGE. The store is a one-stop-shop, stretching
with aisles and aisles AND AISLES of gowns, jewelry and tailoring
counters, and dressing rooms.
The cheerful buzz at RK Bridal was
palpable. The manager greeted me warmly while I was signing in and
chatted for a bit. She was so personable and seemed genuinely interested
in what I was looking for, and even made a few helpful suggestions for
designers I'd probably like. She asked what my budget was, I quietly
told her the number and I think I even asked "Is that ok?" She laughed
and said, "You'll find something here that you love." ??!!??
The
manager invited me to look through the aisles of dresses, choose the
ones I liked (?!?!) and to hang them on a rack near the dressing rooms
while I waited for a consultant. I was thrilled to be able to actually
see, touch, and feel the selection of dresses; this was the first time I
was allowed to do this in Manhattan. The manager walked me over to a
few sections she thought I'd like and told me she knows the store is "a
lot" (referring to the size) and not to be intimidated. Most of the
dresses were smashed tightly on the racks, so in order to get a complete
visual, RK attached photographs and prices of each dress to the hanger,
which I found really useful. The manager left and I combed the store,
not really finding anything initially. While the price point was
spectacular for the quality (I saw beautiful dresses from $400 - $2000,
nothing was priced unreasonably--so refreshing) RK's selection seemed
too "pageant-girl" for my taste. The dresses I saw were heavy and
sparkling, very Glinda the Good Witch. Not very me.
When I met my
bubbly consultant, Sheryl, I wasn't sure she could help me. I told her
immediately I didn't want anything "pageanty". She asked if I had any
pictures. I didn't. She pointed to a girl trying on a classic,
high-necked gown and asked, "Do you like that?" I said sure. Sheryl
darted off, and I trudged into the dressing room and waited. I was sure
she'd come back with exactly what I didn't want since I hadn't seen
anything in-store I liked on my own search. I was wrong. Sheryl quickly
returned smiling, with a rack of gowns that were so on-point I could
have screamed. I didn't know where she found them in the labyrinth of
charmeuse and chiffon and I didn't care. Every gown was more beautiful
than the last, and dare I say, Sheryl actually made the experience fun
for me. We laughed, took pictures, and talked about Real Housewives. She
complimented my butt. I told her she was an angel. Sheryl the Fairy
Gownmother owned it. And guess what? She sold me my dress. I would have
never tried it on if she didn't push me, but once it was on, I think we
both knew.
In the end?: I bought my dress at RK
Bridal and learned to try stuff on that maybe doesn't look like "me" on
the hanger. And that everyone should strive to be more like Sheryl.
