8 So-Called Wedding 'Trends' We're Calling B.S. On

Bridal magazines and blogs are quick to grab onto the latest "trend." Sometimes, those judgments seem reasonable -- we can totally see short wedding dresses taking off. But when media outlets declare donkey weddings or marijuana weddings the hot new wedding fad, we can't help but roll our eyes. Here are eight wedding "trends" we're calling B.S. on:


1. Donkey weddings



Some people may try to convince you that having a donkey at your wedding is a thing. Sure enough, an Arizona company called Haul N Ass Productions has trained donkeys -- err, "beer burros" -- to be wedding party entertainment. The donkeys walk around wearing saddle bags filled with beer for your guests and are billed as a great "ice breaker." Or you could just like, hire a bartender instead. That works too.

2. Robot weddings

In the U.S. and Japan, couples have been using robots like the four-foot-tall i-Fairy to officiate their wedding ceremonies. If you want to participate in this trend anomaly, you can call up Oscar the Wedding Robot who is based in Minneapolis and can serve as "officiant, ring bearer, flower girl, videographer, usher, reader, dancer, child charmer, or speech giver."

3. "Hand lifts" for better engagement ring selfies (aka "relfies").

Apparently, some women have undergone plastic surgery on their hands for a better selfie of their engagement ring. The surgery involves having fillers implanted to give hands a smoother appearance. Media outlets jumped on the story, and earlier this year, NYC dermatologist Dr. Ariel Ostad told SELF that he's seen a 40 percent increase in requests. Cue eye roll.


4. Shadow weddings



If your wedding is designed to be the perfect moment to declare your love for your spouse while looking beautiful, the "shadow wedding" is meant to be the exact opposite. Conceived by two California therapists, the shadow wedding takes place a week before a couple's actual wedding ceremony in order to "celebrate" the couple's unpleasant, unromantic baggage. The couple dresses in shlumpy clothes and makes depressing vow statements like, "I vow to be controlling and always think that I know what is best for you." While it's meant to offer a more honest counter to the idealized fairy tale wedding, it mostly sounds uncomfortable for everybody involved -- and so not a trend.

5. Social media wedding concierge



Earlier this year, the W Hotel announced a new "social media wedding concierge" service to help you craft the perfect hashtag for your special day. For $3,000, the concierge will live-tweet your wedding, splash Instagram with photos from the event and get all your guests to use your wedding hashtag.
We're just kind of like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. Bum-flashing bridesmaids

(REALITYKINGS.COM) 

 

A good bridesmaid will do anything for her friend's special day, and apparently that sometimes includes dropping trou in the bridal party photos. In June, College Humor noted that a number of photos of bridesmaids showing their bums had been circling the Internet. While media outlets were quick to dub the salacious bridesmaid photo a new "trend," it turns out many of the photos were from porn sites and were pretty old. So, thankfully, we dub this not a thing.


7. The "solo wedding"



This "trend" comes from Japan, where the solo wedding is apparently the latest way to celebrate one's independence. Designed for the "modern woman," it's billed as a chance to celebrate self-love by getting married to yourself. For the equivalent of $2,750, the Japanese company "Solo Wedding" will plan a two-day excursion where the "bride" can pick out a dress and flowers and pose for photos. We're all about celebrating singledom, but there's got to be a more fulfilling way to spend a few thousand dollars?

8. The marijuana wedding



As legalized recreational marijuana takes off, many have been quick to announce the rise of the "marijuana wedding." Apparently, these events can include everything from edible pot caramels to marijuana leaf bouquets to vaporizers given as party favors. While this brand of wedding could conceivably catch on in Boulder, Colorado, we don't see pot replacing a nice old-fashioned glass of champagne in most of the country anytime soon.

9 Signs You Might Be a Perfectionist Bride

 
Photo: Getty Images
 
It's all in the details isn't just another cutesy little saying for the perfectionist bride; no, she lives and breathes excellence in every single aspect of her life. Some might call her a bridezilla and others might simply say she knows what she wants. If any of the below sound familiar though, well, welcome to the club.

1. The thought of not having customized save the dates or invitations made makes you kind of anxious.

2. Come to think of it, so does making any sort of wedding-related decision. What if you find something or someone (AKA a vendor) you like better down the line? Then what!?

3. Once you get started on Pinterest, you literally can't stop. In fact, you have a secret Pinterest board for pretty much all the wedding details, including one solely dedicated to the font choices you prefer for your day-of stationary.

4. When your maid of honor or mother-in-law kindly offers to DIY the wedding favors for you, panic ensues. Those types of things are best left to you or a professional hand selected by you.


5. The number of bridesmaids to the number of groomsmen in your wedding party has to match up perfectly or else someone's getting added/demoted. Visual symmetry for the win!

6. You'd never in a million years dream of letting your bridesmaids choose their own dresses for fear of what they'd actually choose (even if it was "perfect").

7. If Kylie Jenner had been your bridesmaid, you'd have made certain her blue hair was gone for the big day!

8. Your budget keeps growing bigger and bigger every day as you realize how much all those teeny-tiny (and in your mind, absolutely necessary) details cost. Who knows, maybe you'll start selling your old designer duds on eBay to account for the difference?

9. Hiring a wedding planner who "totally gets you" was the best decision you ever made because you know planning your wedding is a full-time job and you've already got one of those, unfortunately.

8 Surprising (And Scientifically Proven) Things That Lead To A Lasting Marriage

Finding and keeping a lifelong love can feel like a crapshoot. No matter how madly in love you may be, maintaining a marriage is never easy. And while you may know that sex, trust and compassion are crucial to keeping the flame alive, you may not be clued into some of science's more surprising findings about what makes a marriage last.

Here are eight unexpected factors that may make for a happy, lasting marriage:

1. Having a cheaper wedding.

You may be tempted to bless your marriage with a fairytale wedding, but according to research from Emory University, couples who have thriftier celebrations are more likely to stay together. Among female respondents, those with a wedding bill higher than $20,000 divorced at 3.5 times the rate of those with a $5,000-$10,000 wedding bill.

2. Meeting online.



According to a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, couples who meet online have a lower divorce rate and report higher levels of marital satisfaction. Just another reason to brag about finding your spouse through the interwebs!

3. But not living on social media.



Are you Facebooking your way to divorce? According to a 2014 study from Boston University and published in Computers in Human Behavior, you just might be. Researchers determined that the use of Facebook and other social networking sites is linked to increased marital dissatisfaction and increased divorce rates. They also found that, among heavy social media users, 32 percent had thought about leaving their significant others, compared to 16 percent of non-social media users.

4. Watching movies together.



According to a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, couples who regularly watch movies together stay together. When researchers asked couples to watch films and talk for 30 minutes about the characters' romantic relationships, they saw divorce rates shrink by half. That's because conversations about movie characters' relationships act as safer environments for couples to think and talk critically about their own relationships.

5. Responding to your spouse's random, distracting comments.



According to psychologist John Gottman, when your partner interrupts your reading to point out a dumb meme on the Internet, they're not just trying to amuse you -- they're asking for your positive attention. And if you're constantly responding, "Not now, I'm busy," you're hurting your relationship.
After studying these types of interactions between newlywed couples and following up with the couples six years later, Gottman found that still-married couples had paid attention to their partner during these little random interactions nine times out of ten, while couples that divorced had only paid attention to one another three times out of ten.

6. Using the word "we" during arguments.



"I" love "you" is great, but "we" love "us" is better. According to a study from the University of California, Berkeley, couples who use the word "we" and "us" during conflicts were better able to resolve arguments and suffered less stress from those arguments, compared to couples who used words like "I," "me," and "you." The study also found that using individual pronouns was linked to having an unhappy marriage.

7. Putting your partner on a pedestal.



Think your partner walks on water? Hold onto that thought -- for life. According to research from the University of Buffalo, viewing your partner with starry eyes may be key in preserving your marital happiness. The study asked 222 couples to rank their partner and themselves on a variety of characteristics several times over the course of three years. Those who over-inflated their partners' characteristics were more likely to stay blissful in their union.

8. Doing things that you both enjoy.



You may think sharing in leisure time is the most important thing in the world. However, findings published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicate that sharing activities one partner strongly dislikes actually decreases marital happiness. When couples engage in activities both partners enjoy, both their short and long term marital happiness increased. Researchers concluded that it's less important that the two of you share the same activities than that you both are participating in hobbies that you actually enjoy, whether it's together or separately.

The Best Wedding Dates to Consider for 2015

12/13/14 was the last number-sequential date that will grace the calendar for TWO DECADES. Nearly 20,000 couples were slated to tie the knot yesterday before the clock struck midnight. If you weren't one of those lucky pairs, but are still hoping to pick a wedding date that's as cool as it is easy to remember, here are 6 dates for you to consider in 2015. It's looking like May will be a very popular wedding month!

 

Photo by Nancy Ray on Southern Weddings via Lover.ly

 

1/5/15:

January 5th is your first chance for a fun wedding date in 2015. January is quickly approaching, so you might need to get going with your planning (or consider a low-key city hall wedding!), but the 5th would certainly make for an easy-to-remember anniversary date! Imagine all of the fun things you can do when it comes to your save-the-dates; consider sending out a round reminder with a never-ending circle of 1s and 5s to make sure no one forgets your date!

 

5/1/15:

Look closely...May 1st, 2015 is a palindrome, which means it reads the same backward or forward. This would be a good date to pick if you're into numerology, the belief in divine, mystical or other special relationship between a number and some coinciding events. If your wedding date reads the same regardless of how you look at it, that may just be a good sign that your marriage will flousish no matter what comes your way.

 

5/5/15:

If 5 is your lucky number, consider this 5-filled date for your nuptials. It will look nice on your favors, a corn hole board, and on customized champagne glasses. Even though this date falls on a Tuesday this year, it'd be a very nice pick for tying the knot in an intimate ceremony followed by a small party with just your nearest and dearest.

 

5/10/15:

Are you and your fiancé math nerds? Then this is the date for you because 5 + 10 = 15. You don't often find dates that really add up quite as nicely like this one does. Plus, in 2015, May 10th falls on a Sunday, making it a very wedding-worthy date, so make sure you book it early.

 

8/15/15:

If you have your heart set on a Saturday soiree, then consider August 15th as a possible date. It's the only time the 15th day of the month falls on a Saturday throughout the ENTIRE year...if you're able to secure this date, that's a fun fact you can share anytime anyone asks you why you picked that particular date!

 

11/13/15:

Do you and your fiancé march to the beat of your own drum? Embrace your quirky personalities and unusual relationship with a completely odd-numbered date like this one. The somewhat sequential date makes it easy to remember without being too conventional. This particular date falls on a Friday, keeping in line with your unique nature.

8 Ways To Add Glam Factor To Your Reception Using Mirrors

By Libby MacCarthy for TheKnot.com


If you're looking for that extra something to give your wedding décor a touch of glam factor, think about incorporating mirrored accents into everything from your reception tabletops to centerpieces and wedding signs. Mirrors add a polished touch to any room, plus they'll highlight your reception's best features and can make the space feel bigger.


Paired with lots of candlelight and lush floral arrangements, mirrored tabletops are great for creating a romantic, formal ambiance. Or for a rustic affair, use reclaimed mirrors in gilded antique or vintage wooden frames to welcome guests or help them find their seating assignments.


Check out some of our favorite ways to incorporate mirrors into your wedding below!



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MyLife Photography
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25 Holiday Proposals That Are Worthy Of A Champagne Toast

They don't call it "engagement season" for nothin'!

The time between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day always seems to be chock full of marriage proposals, and this year was no different. We asked our readers who got engaged over the holidays to send us a photo with their new fiancés to celebrate the big news.
Below are 25 holiday proposals that are worthy of a champagne toast.

• Khalil & Mary Jo
  Fiyyaz Karim
  At Rice Park in St. Paul, Minnesota
• Jake & Ema
  Amanda Berube Photography
  At the RiverWalk in Columbus, Georgia
• Rob & Evangeline
  Sprung Photo
  At Welles Park in Chicago
• Sheena & Antonio
  Courtesy of the couple
  At an ugly Christmas sweater party in Radcliff, Kentucky
• Mark & Christie
  Courtesy of the couple
  At the Ace Hotel in Los Angeles
• Carolina & Lorenzo
  Regina Gámez
  In Acapulco, Mexico
• Jason & Matt
  Courtesy of the couple
  At their apartment in Los Angeles
• Andrea & George
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Paris, France
• Justine & Zak
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Perth, Western Australia
• Farah & Zachary
  Courtesy of the couple
  At the New York Palace Hotel in New York City
• Dustin & Sydney
  Courtesy of the couple
  On the roof of the Glenn Hotel in downtown Atlanta
• Heather & Doug
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Fowlerville, Michigan
• Tyler & Veronica
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Tooele, Utah.
• Heather & Jude
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Pensacola, Florida.
• Henry & Maru
  Lollop360
  In Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
• Sarah & Raylen
  Courtesy of the couple
  At Gaylord Texan Resort in Grapevine, Texas
• William & Kristen
  Courtesy of the couple
  On Vail Mountain in Vail, Colorado
• Alyssa & AJ
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Jackson, New Jersey
• Holly & Will
   
  Courtesy of the couple
  At the Atlanta Botanical Garden in Atlanta, Georgia
• Scott & Justin
  Courtesy of the couple
  At home in Burbank, California
• Carrie & Kyle
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Portland, Maine
• Michelle & Eric
  Courtesy of the couple
  At the ConAgra Foods Ice Rink in downtown Omaha, Nebraska
• Andrea & Tim
  Courtesy of the couple
  At home in Fishkill, New York
• Melanie & Damond
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Detroit, Michigan
• Tony & Laura
  Courtesy of the couple
  In Sudbury, Ontario Canada.

20 Things I've Learned From 20 Years of Marriage

Darryl A. Cobbin 
Husband, Father, Author of Before You Wed. Read This




Tis the season of marriage proposals on bended knee accompanied by an emphatic "yes!" We need to look no further than the national jewelry advertising campaigns of "Every kiss begins with Kay," "He went to Jared" and Zales, "the diamond store," to know the holiday season is primetime for engagements. My wife Valerie and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this year and while I watch the various lovely commercials from each jeweler, I reminisced about my proposal to my bride and how much I didn't have a clue about marriage when I nervously knelt to take Valerie's hand with a spanking new engagement ring in pocket. I just knew that I loved her, which is a beautiful start, but not nearly enough to make a marriage last two decades.


For all of you contemplating giving or receiving a marriage proposal this holiday season, I'd like to share 20 things I've learned from 20 years of marriage. This list is composed from a combination of personal experience along with stellar points I've summarized studying Rick Warren at Saddleback Church in California. Saddleback recently had a fantastic series on "Awesome Relationships" which featured the insightful and affable founder and CEO of eHarmony Neil Clark Warren. Ok, enough with the preamble here's the list:


1. Love is not just an emotion. Love is also a choice.
2. Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
3. Tragedy and conflict don't build character as much as they reveal character.
4. Every marriage has seasons (springtime is busy, summer is easy, fall is messy, winter is bleak).
5. Date your mate.
6. Before you get married opposites attract, after you get married opposites attack.
7. Resist the temptation to compare your marriage to others. That's the fastest way to divorce court.
8. If you demand that your spouse must change before you love them, that's not love.
9. Not all friends and family members are good for your marriage.
10. Your decision to stay married or divorce will impact others in ways you can't imagine.
11. The five most common areas of potential struggle in marriage are communication, sex, in-laws, child rearing and money. Much better to discuss these areas before the marriage.
12. Saying I'm sorry is a sign of strength not weakness.
13. Love is spelled T-I-M-E. Spend quality time with the person you love.
14. If you don't understand the impact your past is having on your present, then your past is running your future with or without your permission.
15. In conflict, don't become a skunk or a turtle. Skunks stink up the place while turtles pull into their shells. And by the way, skunks always marry turtles.
16. Similarities are like money in the bank.
17. Make sure there is chemistry, but don't give chemistry too big a role to play.
18. Figure out the 20 most important qualities you want in a marriage partner and the 20 most important qualities you can't stand.
19. Finding the love of your life is an awesomely complex task.
20. Work daily at becoming a better spouse rather than wishing you had a better spouse.

As you consider the Vera Wang collection from Zales, the Scott Kay collection from Kay or the Neil Lane collection from Jared, please first closely and quietly reflect then act upon this list. It just may guide you to the love of your life and help you reach a 20 year wedding anniversary and beyond.

Happy Holidays!
Darryl

10 Things These Couples Wish They Knew Before They Got Married

Photo Credits:Thinkstock Images

 

There are plenty of couples we just couldn't wait to see married: Jim and Pam from The Office, Leslie and Ben from Parks and Rec (I apologize. All my examples are fictional). And for good reason we wanted them hitched! Those couples really proved to us that they could survive a lot.

But marriage in real life is much harder. And if you opt to pursue a happy matrimonial union, it may be one of the hardest things you ever do. That's why we've rounded up some quality reflections from some introspective married folks. Here's what they wish they knew before they tied the knot:

1. Don't let the mentality of "her chore/my chore" build up.

"There isn't a chore in the house that takes more than 30 minutes to do (even laundry if you discount the time when the clothes are actually washing/drying). If you see something out of place, dirty, whatever, just clean it up. She'll do stuff, you'll do stuff."

2. Make sure you've had all of the talks.

"Kids — make sure you see eye to eye on when, how many, and how you'll raise them. Religion — make sure you guys have similar beliefs, or if you don't, an agreement on how religion will affect your lives through the next few decades. Time & Chores — make sure you have some agreement on who will do what when you live together. Actually, live together for a while and make sure that works in general. Money — Where is it coming from? How are you going to spend it? Will accounts be merged? What if you split up?"




3. Choose your side of the bed carefully.

"It will never change. Also… make sure you get at least one shelf in the bathroom cabinet."

4. Under no circumstance should a couple have to do everything together.

"Do things you want to do, have her do things she wants to do. She wants to go out? She should. You want to go out? You should."

5. Three words: private bank accounts.

"I think the best advice I could give would be to make sure each of you has access to your own private bank account. Use a joint account for bills and things like that but each of you should have a little something on the side so that you can retain some sense of financial freedom. For instance if you want to buy an Army of Darkness poster it won't start a 4-hour fight about who spends more of their money on what."

6. Think about how you'll both be when life really sucks.

"Things may be good now and you think you've had your struggles, but do you think that you and this person could maintain a relationship through really tough times? I'm not talking about big fights or drama that you or people around you have created, I mean really tough shit that only God throws at you because he's just that kind of a sonofabitch. Think honestly on that... don't glaze over it or say, ‘We love each other, so we would make it.' Love has nothing to do with it, it's about whether or not both of you use mature and effective communication, coping skills, etc.
Think about how you handle stress, how she handles stress, how resentments build, does she blame you often for circumstances out of your control (or you to her)? What would happen if one or both of you lost your job down the line and couldn't pay all of your bills, went into foreclosure, bankruptcy, etc. Do you think you could handle that? What about if you tried for years to have children only to find out that one of you is completely unable to do so and the other is completely healthy? Would you be able to work past all of the resentments, blame, shame, etc. on both sides? A lot of relationships are just strong enough to make it through the day to day, which a lot of young people think are the hard times, and when real problems hit, they crumble."

7. Know when you need to cool off.

m

"Sometimes knowing when NOT to talk to your spouse is better than talking. I disagree full heartedly with the ‘never go to bed mad' idea. Sometimes its good to work things out right away. Other times you need to cool off. ‘Listen babe, I am upset right now and have a lot of things flying around in my head. I want to talk to you about this, but right now I can't think straight and need a bit of time to cool off.' Then go do something to relax a bit, collect your thoughts, and then talk. It's a helluva lot better than getting your thoughts mixed up and spitting out something you really didn't mean but said anyway because you're so raged. And if she ever says she needs to cool off, respect that and let her."

8. Plan out the week's meals in advance and know exactly what you are eating each day.

"This makes grocery shopping easier and saves you money since you won't be scrambling for food every night and just end up going out to a restaurant and dropping $50 on a meal you could have made for $5."

9. If you can, make sure the place you move into has separate rooms for each of you.

"You will both need your own space. I sleep with my wife every night. But we would have killed each other years ago, if I didn't have an office to retreat to and she, her own room."

10. Make sure you guys are awesome at resolving conflict.

"Do you have good communication skills with each other? Are you able to work through a problem without it blowing up into an argument? Acknowledge your differences, but make sure they are reconcilable."

[h/t Reddit]

Goodbye 2014..... Happy 2015!