20 Little Ways To Make Your Marriage Even Stronger

Sharon Naylor for Bridal Guide

You want to be with the love of your life forever, and he with you, so always make your marriage a top priority (as in every day!). Here are some easy and fun ways to keep improving an already awesome partnership. Even if you're not married yet, you can start practicing these tips to enjoy your relationship even more throughout the wedding-planning process.

Grooms and husbands, hold onto this list as well — these rules apply to you, too!

1. Eat healthfully.
A 2012 British study from the University of Warwick found that people who consume more fruits and vegetables experience higher levels of mental well-being. Include these foods in your diet and you'll have increased energy, sleep better and exhibit a more positive outlook in general. You have to take great care of yourself to be the best "you" in this marriage. Check out these healthy breakfast ideas.

2. Make time for exercise.
It's important to work out — no, not to be a size 0 so your hubby finds you attractive, but so that you feel your best. Newlyweds who exercise have more self-confidence while clothed or naked, enjoy mood-boosting hormones and are less likely to experience depression. Exercise solo and with your partner: Running a 5K together or taking an exercise class is a fun way to bond.

3. Talk about your early days of dating.
Rather than bringing up the past in a wistful sense ("why don't we ever do that anymore..."), express appreciation for all the ways that your spouse has helped you. For example, you could say something like, "I was just thinking about that romantic dinner you planned by the fireplace on our third date. That was really wonderful." It's an ego boost for him and it shows that you value his best efforts. (Note: Making the effort to compliment your husband is especially important if he feels like he's being undervalued at work, since it shows that he's doing something right in this sector of his life.)

4. Bond with each other’s friends.
If you’re not already close with your husband's friends, nor he with yours, plan occasional group outings so that you can all get to know each other better. When you mesh well with each other's social circles, it enhances this important facet of your lives.

5. Give your spouse alone time with their pals.
Even if your husband's friends love you, there are still some events he’ll be invited to — like going to an NBA game — as a guy’s night out. Don't make him feel guilty about leaving you home alone by pouting and checking in with him constantly while he's out (and yes, guys do this too!). Maintaining separate social lives and being supportive of one another boosts your marriage.

6. Bond with each other’s families.
It's a gift to your spouse when you blend in well with his parents and siblings. Befriend them, give compliments, ask how their lives are going and smile. This is a big one, and it can be especially challenging if his relatives gave you a hard time during the wedding planning.
You may not love them (and maybe you will someday), but make an effort to at least be cordial, forgive as much as you can and start fresh with them as a member of the family. If you keep giving your husband a hard time because of a rude comment your mother-in-law made, then he'll become angry at you and it will cause cracks in your marriage, thereby letting her win. Here's how to deal when your in-laws hate you .

7. Touch as often as possible.
Hold hands. Touch your husband on the arm when you’re both making your morning coffee. Place your hand on his cheek when he kisses you good night. Think about these little points of contact as love "marks" that stay with him throughout the day.
At the end of a long day, pamper each other with foot and hand massages while you’re watching your favorite TV shows on the couch. The physical contact creates happy hormone oxytocin, and non-sexual physical contact keeps you feeling adored by each other. You’d be surprised how longtime marrieds whose relationships have grown stale never touch each other anymore in these little adoring ways.

8. Drop your old issues.
We all have scars and damage from our dating days and from our families, but don't use an old fight as a weapon in a new one. It's unfair to throw unresolved issues at one another — drop those sensitivities by avoiding hot button issues that you've already discussed (and hopefully resolved).
If you're still having trouble letting it go, consider journaling or talking to a counselor to prevent these bygones from weakening your marriage.

9. Fight fairly.
Avoid using absolutes like "always" or "never" to accuse your spouse when you’re revved up and kind of irrational during a particularly bad argument (i.e. "You never listen to me"). Within the argument, establish a "take it back" code whenever either of you says something you don't truly mean.

Remind your husband that you love him and stay focused on finding a solution, which opens the door for a compromise. You both need to know when to apologize; love does mean saying "I'm sorry" sometimes. Here's advice for handling your first big fight .

10. Cook together.
Make it an occasional treat to prep a new meal together. The sensory experience of cooking and co-creating a fabulous, romantic dish or snack is way better than popping some toaster tarts in the oven.

11. Have a sense of humor.
Don’t be uptight or overly sensitive, making it impossible for your spouse to playfully tease you if you do something silly. If you’re always a raw nerve, he'll feel like he's walking on eggshells, which makes you a chore. Laugh off a joke (and deliver one right back at your husband) to show him that you're a carefree partner who doesn't make him nervous to kid around with.

12. Know when to listen (without offering advice).
Sometimes, you or your partner just need to vent and spill out all the frustrations of the day. Since your husband loves you and wants you to feel better, he might give suggestions that can produce the opposite effect intended. It's easy to turn your stress against him ("Don't you think I already thought of that?").

Let him know when you just want to be heard and comforted — no crisis intervention necessary — and you've just created a strong tool in your marriage.

13. Carve out quiet time.
Make it a point to decompress each evening. Avoid following your spouse around like a puppy as soon as he gets home from work, telling him about your day or reminding him about things you need to do, like fix the washing machine or attend your niece's birthday party.

Your husband understands that you just miss him, but he might feel bad telling you to chill for a while and let him unwind. Be open and honest whenever you need some alone time, whether it's 15 minutes or an hour, and vice versa. You’re not saying, "Don’t bother me," you’re communicating clearly about an important need you have that you’ll both respect.

14. Be financially responsible.
Money is one of the top marriage stressors, especially in these challenging financial times. You both need the security of knowing that you’re each paying bills on time, and not making unnecessary purchases.

Create a joint account for bills but also keep separate accounts for your own play money, and, of course, make sure you're both socking away some money in your savings to contribute towards shared future goals.

Most importantly, be financially honest with one another, no matter what. No secret spending or hiding it from your spouse if you're having trouble paying a bill on time.

15. Speak well of each other.
If you vent to your friends or family members about a fight you had with your husband, they may not forgive him, even after you've forgiven and forgotten. It's a betrayal to trash-talk your spouse to others, even if he made you really mad. Your personal issues need to stay personal so that you don’t create problems in your social and family circle that will only grow worse over time.

And his family and friends love it when you rave about his awesomeness, just as your loved ones will adore him for speaking highly of you all the time.

16. Be playful.
Even if life is stressful, express your playful and silly side by suggesting (or agreeing to participate in) sports, video games, a round of mini golf, a night at the amusement park, or other spirited activities. Show this side of your personality often, and remind your spouse how much fun you are. Even if you're the worst darts player ever, laughing at your lack of skill (instead of pouting or getting frustrated) lets him see you in this adorable way.

17. Don’t stall on each other’s requests.
Life is hectic, but if your partner asks you to look up something online or find a piece of paperwork for him, make it a high priority to do so as soon as humanly possible. When you show your spouse that his requests are important to you and you value his needs, that makes your partnership even stronger.

On the flip side, if either of you says, "I'll get to it in a few days...I'm kind of busy now," that can cause hurt feelings. Of course, some requests can't be done now, and you may not be able to drop your important work to complete it, but don't make your husband wait for weeks. Just do it as soon as you can.

18. Accept that you’ll both have bratty moments.
Sometimes when we’re stressed, we get snappy. It happens to everyone, and that ultra-bratty response may even be a surprise to you. So if your spouse replies with a terse comment, don’t pull the pin on a big fight grenade. Just accept it as a sign that he’s stressed and not able to respond more maturely at the moment.

And if he blames your bratty remark on PMS, it’s better to walk away than get into a fight over something silly. Apologies can come a little bit later.

19. Divvy up chores.
Division of labor in a marriage is something that marriage counselors handle a lot with couples who are having trouble. You can avoid resentments by simply talking to each other about which household projects you want to take on. Maybe you’re okay with killing the spiders and taking out the trash, and he’s fine with vacuuming.

Make your own plan without any male vs. female labels, and then — this is important — sit down to discuss which household chores are annoying you, which you want to trade, and which you want to hire someone to do...like the dusting and vacuuming. Done!

20. Ask your spouse, "What do you need more of?"
Being this direct, and safe to talk to, lets him (and you) say, “I need some more alone time when I get home from work” or “I need more cuddle time” or “I want to make out more.” Your spouse isn’t a mind reader, and they want to know how to please you better. You get your wish out there, no resentments build, and you have a great tool for your ultra-strong marriage that you can use again and again.

7 Ways to Rock Your Marriage -- In a Good Way

Banning gay marriage does not protect "the sanctity" of marriage. Making a divorce more difficult to obtain does not save a marriage. Your sexual orientation, gender, skin color, or heritage don't define or make a marriage. What makes a marriage is the discipline to do the work it takes to make a marriage successful. These seven steps are what sustain a marriage and make it something special:

1. Kiss your wife or husband every day, several times a day. Make sure some of those kisses are the passionate, "I can't wait to get my hands on you" kinds of kisses. Think back to when you first started dating and how you smooched then. Good kissing can lead to sex and sex is very important in a love relationship.

2. Hold hands with your wife or husband. Such a simple gesture is also a very intimate gesture. Hold hands everywhere you go. It connects you to each other.

3. Never leave each other or come back together throughout the day without a kiss and saying "I love you." That reminds both of you, sometimes several times a day (if not more), you are in this together. Even if you are just running to the store, do it. You never know what may happen.

4. Do something special for each other every day -- some small gesture that is just between the two of you. My husband makes the coffee each evening and sets the timer for my very early waking habit. I, in turn, have his coffee cup and two scoops of sweetener ready to go with a spoon. It doesn't have to be something grand, just something thoughtful every day.

5. Talk to each other. Find a time each day to talk about life, love, finances, the kids, family, friends, the news, a funny joke you saw on Facebook, politics, anything. Look each other in the eye and have a conversation.

6. Remember you are partners yet still individuals, and individuals have different opinions. Respect the opinions of your significant other. My husband and I often have differing political points of view yet we can have civilized conversations. We allow each other to explain our position, we ask each other questions, and we never, ever criticize the differing opinion.

7. When speaking to others about your wife or husband, only speak highly of the person you chose to spend your life with. Speaking negatively of your significant other makes you look bad and sets a poor foundation for any relationship.

March 7, 2014 marks the 22nd anniversary of the day I said "I do" to Charles Justiz, aka Wonder Husband. We have had our ups and downs. We have had our rough spots. We have had times neither of us thought we would recover from. These are the seven things we have learned to do to get beyond those bad times to grow a strong and loving relationship that has only gotten better with time. It takes work and it takes doing all seven of the above every day.

This is not a blog post. This is a love letter to my husband. Happy anniversary Wonder Husband. I love you and am proud to say I adore you more every day.

Dayna Steele is a business speaker and author. She speaks customer service, growing a business, and improved individual performance - all based on what she learned from working with the world's greatest rock stars. She met her husband Charlie through David Crosby.

8 At-Home Date Night Ideas

Most of us are sick of winter at this point. So why not shake off the winter blues (not to mention the cabin fever) with a fun date night at home? Check out my favorite, budget-friendly ways to spend the evening in with my better half:





Shrug off the winter blues with a wine and cheese tasting party for two! Assemble a collection wines and cheese you love with a few new surprises in the mix. Turn on your pick of tunes and enjoy talking and nibbling the evening away, while picking your favorites from the bunch.


Photo by Veronica Lola Photography from The Sweetest Occasion





A classic movie night always makes for a great date! Pick a tried and true favorite (maybe the movie you watched on your first date) or switch things up with a new release. Pop the popcorn and you're ready for the evening! These adorable printable movie tickets are the perfect way to ask your better half to join you for date night.


Photo + printables by Dabbles & Babbles





Around our house we love Upside Down Day, indulging in our favorite poached eggs for dinner. Why not switch it up with date night breakfast in bed? Whether it be with your world famous omelet or croissants picked up at the neighborhood bakery, slip into something cozy and spend the evening in bed.


Photo + recipe inspiration from Always with Butter





Does anyone else love a blanket fort as much as I do? Good! Sack out on the living room floor with a nest of pillows and blankets for an indoor camping date night. Dim the lights, tell stories and make like a couple of kids at summer camp. So romantic and so cozy!


Photo by Sara & Rocky Photography from Wedding Chicks





If you're a culinary-minded couple, spend the evening in the kitchen learning something new! My pick is giving homemade pasta a whirl - it's simpler than it seems and the results are always scrumptious. Then dim the lights and enjoy your meal by candlelight!


Photo + homemade pasta recipe and tips from The Little Kitchen





One of our favorite ways to have a date night at home is over a board game or a game of cards. We turn off the television, rock the music and spend the night laughing and battling it out over a favorite game. I love these printable Bingo cards to kick your game night off in sweet style.


Photo + printables from Design Eat Repeat





Dance! There's no better date night than dancing. Put on a favorite date night outfit and sway to the beat in socked feet. Be silly, have fun, and dance! You'll have loads of fun while enjoying a romantic date night together.


Photo by Aimee Howell Photography





Dream big and spend the evening together creating a couple's bucket list! These downloadable bucket list worksheets allow you to dream big for the long haul and create mini bucket lists for every month of the year. Pour a glass of wine and pass the time day dreaming away.


Bucket list worksheets available for $2 from Miss Tiina

By Sharon Naylor for Bridal Guide


While you're planning your wedding, are you also preparing for your marriage? According to a survey published in the Journal of Family Psychology, couples with premarital education reported higher levels of marital satisfaction and experienced a 30 percent decline in the likelihood of divorce over five years. (This topic is especially timely because Colorado has proposed a ballot that would require engaged couples to complete premarital counseling before they’re legally allowed to wed.)
If you're getting married in a house of worship, then you might already have faith-based marriage classes booked in your schedule, since some churches and synagogues mandate them. And if you're not among the engaged couples required to get counseling, then you may be curious about whether or not it's worth taking the plunge.


Here, get a comprehensive look at how an accredited counselor can help you build a solid foundation for your future together. Also, find out what you should discuss with your future spouse before walking down the aisle.



Photo by: Robyn Van Dyke Photography on Southern Weddings via Lover.ly


The Benefits of Marriage Counseling
Creating positive marriage resolutions. It's easy to get emotional when discussing heavy-duty topics like money, sex, and kids. An experienced counselor can help guide the conversation and prevent you and your partner from going off on a tangent, thereby losing focus and not accomplishing anything.


Learning (or improving) conflict resolution skills. If you've had some major tiffs or blowouts in the past (and who hasn't?) then you both know how you tend to react during arguments, whether it's wielding the silent treatment and pouting or yelling and name-calling. If you're being honest with yourself, then there's probably room for improvement. A counselor will teach you how to listen and communicate more effectively; more specifically, they'll also tell you what to say (and not say) in order to reach a happy solution.


Getting realistic expectations about timing. For example, if you come to an agreement that the kids topic is off the table for two years, then you won't be left anxious or frustrated when you want to delve into that plan and your partner isn't ready. This also applies to major purchases like buying a house.


Avoiding toxic resentments. Clear the air about resentments you've been hanging onto throughout your relationship. A counselor will help you resolve these issues and free yourselves from them so that they don't cause massive damage later on in your marriage.


Dismantling fears about marriage. One or both of you might come from a divorced family, or from a dysfunctional background where fighting and manipulation was the norm. Premarital counseling can teach you how to make peace with your past and break the cycle.


Identifying the "seeds" of future marital stress. With an experienced outsider's perspective, you can learn which behaviors and habits you need to adjust or quit cold turkey.

Address any Concerns You Might Have
Money. Counseling sessions can be pricey and you might not be able to shift your budget to make room for this investment. Ask your wedding coordinator or officiant to help point you toward free or low-cost counseling resources like a community clinic or teaching hospital. In addition, you can check out the American Psychological Association or the National Association of Social Workers to find affordable counselors located within your area.


Time. Classes will take a chunk out of your schedule so if you both put in long hours at work and your weekends are packed with activities, it can be a challenge to make and keep appointments or be fully present and engaged when you're in them. In spite of this, it still might be worth your time to do it.


Fear of unearthing additional problems. It can be unnerving to begin the process of premarital counseling because you and/or your groom might worry that examining your relationship under a microscope can lead to more stress and issues. In fact, although this can be hurtful in the short term, it can be very helpful in the long run.


Being humbled. It's neither easy nor fun to learn that you have less-than-stellar communication skills or find out that your groom isn't happy with your sex life. Even something as simple as hearing that he'd like more decompression time when he gets home from work can make you feel scolded, so you need to be prepared for some tough truths. It's important for you and your future spouse to remove your egos from the equation and allow yourselves to be open to constructive criticism, with the knowledge that in the process, you'll become a better husband and wife.


Remember this: As challenging as premarital counseling can be, it's all for the best and you're putting in the effort that's required to make your marriage work.


Photo by: Paul Von Reiter on Grey Likes Weddings via Lover.ly


How to Make the Most Out of Your Sessions
Accept that it’s going to be challenging at times. It's a mistake to think that marriage counseling is just a scheduling session for when you'll have kids, or buy a house, or move to an island when you retire.

Remember that the goal is not to "win." Both partners need to keep an open mind and be willing to change things that aren't working.
Keep your sessions completely private. Don't chat with bridesmaids, your mother, or anyone else about the things you've discussed, and don't even think about posting anything on Facebook that could embarrass your partner. Trust is essential to improving upon any relationship and 100 percent discretion is necessary.
Express gratitude to your partner. Tell your future spouse that you're thankful they're willing to attend counseling with you and for the great work you're doing together.
While it’s a great advantage to have a professional counselor guiding you, you might find that it's easier if you just discuss all the hot topics and future plans in the comfort of your own home. Use the following questions to get the conversation started about your expectations, hopes and values.
Questions to Ask Your Future Spouse
Values:

• How will we handle conflict?
• What are our zero-tolerance hot buttons (e.g. financial dishonesty, infidelity, drinking too much, gambling)? What are the repercussions of those missteps?
• What are the most important values that we’ll keep in our relationship?

Photo by: JoPhoto on Lover.ly

Career:

• What are our career goals (e.g. getting a second job or traveling more) and what will it take for us to reach them?
• Do either of us plan to change careers, and if so, how will we adjust our lifestyle and budget to allow for a potentially lower household income?
• During busy times, will we be working late at night? On weekends? During vacations?

Finances:

• What is our current financial situation, including our total debt, savings and retirement funds?
• How big of an emergency fund do we need to live well if one of us is out of work, or if we have an unexpected expense?
• What is our monthly budget?
• What can we establish as our individual "fun money" funds, and do we want to inform each other when we tap into them?
• Who will pay for which of our household expenses and bills?

Intimacy:

• Are we happy with our current lovemaking schedule, or do either of us want more?
• If we’re not having as much sex as we would like, is it a matter of time or energy, and what can we do to remedy those barriers?
• What’s the best way for each of us to express that we’d like more sex?
• Do either of us want more romance? If so, what exactly are our most wished-for romantic gestures? More kissing? More hugs? Romantic dinners?

Kids:

• When do we want to have kids?
• How many kids do we plan to have?
• If for some reason, we can’t have children, will we pursue adoption?
• Will one of us stop working after we have children, and how will that affect our lifestyle and finances?
• What do we want our children to learn from our relationship?
• Will we raise our kids with religious beliefs and traditions?

Religion:

• What are our independently-held or shared religious beliefs?
• Would we like to re-connect to a religious or spiritual community?
• What are our spiritual beliefs and practices, and how will we include them in our life?
• If we each have different religious beliefs, how will we maintain our own traditions and combine them, if possible?

Household Duties:

• Who will be responsible for which household chores?
• Can we revisit our job division list in a few months, if either of us is unhappy with the balance of effort needed?
• Do we have strong needs for our home to be spotless, or is a little bit of clutter okay?
• Who will be responsible for meal-planning and meal preparations during the week and on the weekends?
• Do either of us need and enjoy alone time? How will we make that happen?

Family Involvement:

• How often will we visit our parents on a regular basis? Every weekend, or once in a while?
• How will we divide the holidays fairly between our parents?
• How will we deal with our respective family dramas?
• How often will we vacation with our families, if ever? And if it’s not something one of us loves to do, how can we compromise (e.g. leaving after three days instead of staying the week)?

Social Life:

• How often will we spend time with our friends? Will we keep our regular Friday night happy hour plans with them or adjust to once a month or so to give us more time together as a couple?
• How will we deal with each other’s friends we don’t like very much?
• If a friend asks to stay at our house while they're in town, or if they're out of work, how will we handle that?
• How often will we have date nights?
• How often do we want to vacation together?

Hold on to this list and review these questions again in six months or so after your wedding, when you've adjusted to being married, to see if any of your responses and feelings have changed.

Behind-the-Scenes: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's Wedding Reception Playlist

What happens when a Grammy-winning artist gets married? He makes a mega-playlist, of course, to entertain his guests. Prior to John Legend and Chrissy Teigen tying the knot on the banks of of Italy's Lake Como in September, the groom pulled together more than 60 songs to set the tone for the night, from Aretha Franklin to Led Zeppelin. Post-ceremony, Teigen traded her ball gown for her dinner dress, and Legend pressed "play." But as only a musician can do, he made sure the tunes were punctuated by two live performances: Legend serenaded Teigen with his latest hit, "All of Me," and guest Stevie Wonder (who was also in heavy rotation on the playlist with six songs) took to the piano for "Ribbon in the Sky."


Legend passed his selections on to us, and we couldn't help but share them with you. Here, more than four hours of music to inspire your own choices for your wedding day, rehearsal dinner, even bridal shower. Scroll down through our Spotify player to see and listen to them all.



See the full, exclusive story currently featured in the magazine, now on newsstands, or available to download. Pick it up, and stay tuned for more behind-the-scenes shots over the next few weeks at MarthaStewartWeddings.com.

Just So You Know, Nobody Is 'Required' To Be A Bridesmaid

The rules of wedding etiquette are constantly changing, making it difficult for modern brides, grooms and guests to find up-to-date and correct information. That's why we've launched #MannersMondays, a weekly series in which we ask our followers on Twitter and Facebook to submit their most burning etiquette-related questions. Then, with the help of our team of etiquette experts, we get you the right answers to your biggest Big Day dilemmas. Check out this week's question below!

"Is the only sister of the groom required to be a bridesmaid? Would the personal attendant do?" - Jessica Lust via Facebook

Anna Post -- great-great-granddaughter of etiquette guru Emily Post and author of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette -- is here to help us answer this week's question. Find out what she had to say below:

"No, the groom’s only sister isn’t required to be a bridesmaid. In fact, no one is ever required to be a bridesmaid, or to be asked to be a bridesmaid.

First, a word on the word 'required.' It often implies 'I don’t want to, but I guess I have to.' While there is no etiquette that requires someone to be or be asked to be a bridesmaid, a wedding is about a couple becoming part of each other’s families. And that means making a good-faith effort to get to know new family members. Building relationships out of a sense of obligation often lacks sincerity, undermining the chances of success from the beginning. So I might think about this question more as, 'Would it be a good idea to ask the groom’s only sister to be a bridesmaid?'

Generally, consider asking close friends and family. There is no minimum or maximum number, and there doesn’t need to be an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. It’s also fine to have none at all. It’s a good idea to at least consider asking any future sister(s)-in-law. You may not know them well yet, but this is a chance to get to know them better and to honor their close relationship with your fiancé. By including them, you are banking on the future relationship you will have with them. If the groom has more than one sister, it would be a very smart idea to ask all of them rather than to pick and choose — or don’t ask any at all.

When being asked to be a bridesmaid, it is always fine for anyone — including the sister of the groom — to decline. As the groom’s sister, the same advice as above applies: Think about saying 'yes' as a way to get to know your brother’s new bride. If being a bridesmaid is really not for you, but the bride and groom would like you to be part of the ceremony, suggest doing a reading instead."

This Is How You Know You've Found "The One"

"How do you know you've found the one?" young friends ask me.

"Does your boyfriend make you happy?" I ask. "Does being around him boost your sense of well being? Does he help you be the best you can be?"

Funny that I can be a love advisor when more than 30 years ago I almost said no to love.
In movies, love hits like a freight train in a cathedral: hard, fast and unexpected. But for me, love was a slow simmer that over time came to a full boil. It has continued to simmer and enrich its flavors ever since.

A first impression deferred
My first date with my now husband was a blind one -- or almost blind. Craig and I went to the same small suburban private high school. We appeared together in two school plays. But more than a decade after I graduated high school, when Craig called to ask me out, I didn't even remember he existed.

My first impulse was to say no. I had given up on matches arranged by well-meaning relatives and friends -- a date who had the hiccups for 48 hours, another who arrived with his macrobiotic meal in a brown bag, and a third who carried his leftovers, a container of garlicky shrimp lo mein with the noodles dripping off the side, to a downtown movie on a hot summer night.

Thankfully, instead of saying no, I looked Craig up in my high school yearbook. In all the photos I found he had a knit cap glued to his head that made him look a little goofy. Yet I couldn't deny his handsome face. I said yes.

When we met in person, he got my attention by letting me know that he'd had a crush on me ever since high school. Whether it's true or not I'll never know. On our second date, he almost sent me running when he told me that he thought he was going to marry me.

I was attracted, but I resisted; he wasn't totally how I envisioned my dream guy. He was smart and funny. He had great hair and a sexy deep voice, kind of like soul singer Barry White. But he also had a paunch, and his attire was nerdy: sandals, a t-shirt and the same pair of gold pants I soon discovered he wore at every date. And he was in his late twenties and still figuring out what he wanted to do.

My real reason for hesitating was that, though I yearned to find my soul mate, I feared replicating my parents' less-than-ideal union. But I couldn't deny that Craig and I effortlessly connected: talking, joking and laughing. We both were obsessed with learning new things, new words, new concepts. We fully embraced anything we explored, from biking to family history. And we loved going to inexpensive authentic ethnic restaurants and taking in all the culture we could -- plays, movies and books.

I took pleasure in the way he surprised me -- with a made-up poem in the middle of an otherwise silent moonlit hike. Or by playing Tangerine Dream's music from "Risky Business" in the car when he picked me up, music I once casually mentioned I liked.

All's well that ends well
After a year and a half of dating, when my landlord and his wife (who lived in the same building and acted like my second set of parents) went on vacation, Craig came to stay at my apartment for a week as a trial run. He was smart enough to know he had to reel me in slowly. A week turned into two and then three. Soon it was clear that he was never going to leave, and I didn't want him to.

Sharing my life with Craig has amplified the joy and made the difficult times easier -- except for when I worked as bookkeeper for Craig's computer networking business. We'd crabbily peer at spreadsheets together -- we both hated accounting -- and the misery of the numbers invaded our marriage. To this day he says he fired me. I say I quit.

But our love remains strong. Last year I had major surgery and relied on Craig for months. His loving round-the-clock care, emotional support and cooking of all my favorite foods, from kasha and varnishkes to spaghetti and clams, brought me back to life.

So how do you know when you've found the right one? If you pay attention, you'll know, even if you're a little dense about it at first like me.

Now at night we have what we call "The Best Time," when we cuddle, laugh and talk after the lights are out. I tease him, "Let's pretend it's our first date and this time I won't be so slow to realize how much I love you; I'll just jump your bones." He laughs and pulls me toward him.

Wedding Reception: Top Tips for Decorating Your Reception Tables

 

Banquet Reception Table Decorating Tips

1. Reach High Break up the long, narrow tables with height. This will give your tables some dimension. Be creative: Alternate between ceramic vases and candlesticks.

2. Balance It Out Consider the space. Oversized windows need to be balanced out. Longer tables are the perfect solution for giving more depth to a bare room and keep it from feeling cold.

3. Play Up Shapes Don't settle on round, standard plates. Let the place settings work together by mimicking the table's shape. And make a subtle point by using sharp sides.

4. Run Long Elongate the table by working the middle zone. Add texture by layering a graphic runner over a solid tablecloth. If you aren't into doubling up on linens, then let your centerpieces step in.

5. Disperse Details Rectangular tables have a lot of space to fill. (No pressure!) The trick here is to keep in mind that not every inch has to be covered. Prevent this potential color overload by using accent hues in a couple of strategic spots, like on the ballroom chair cushions, lining the middle of each table with tall candlesticks and on place settings by way of the menu or place cards.

When to Use Banquet Tables: High ceilings. Tall windows. Massive floor space. You've fallen head over heels with a room that needs some filling. The solution (yes, there is one!): Stretch your tables. Set these long, lean shapes in organized rows or in a U-shaped formation. Watch how the lines of color saturate your party room.

This Couple's Incredible Love Story Will Make You Cry

Four years ago, Larry Ragsdale planned to propose to his high school sweetheart, Kelcie Yeoman, during a vacation with her family to Disneyland. But just a week before the trip, their lives were turned upside down. While driving home from showing Kelcie's sister, McKenzie, the engagement ring he'd chosen, Larry's car was struck by a drunk driver, and he nearly lost his life. He was thrown into a coma, and for months, no one knew if he'd ever recover.


But Kelcie never gave up on him. She was by his side every day until, at long last, he awoke. They learned that the former football and track star was left partially paralyzed from the accident; he had a long road to recovery ahead of him, filled with countless surgeries and exhaustive physical therapy sessions. Determined to be with him every step of the way, Kelcie even got a job at the facility where he was recovering.


In August, three years after coming out of the coma, Larry proposed to Kelcie with the same ring he'd chosen before that fateful night. But with their bank accounts drained from the arduous recovery, the wedding of their dreams (in Disneyland) seemed completely out of reach — until McKenzie launched a fundraising campaign and reached their goal of $20,000 in just 11 days!
Watch the video of their incredible journey (warning: Grab the tissues first!):

As a Wife, I'm Guilty of These 5 Mistakes (And You Probably Are, Too)

Susannah LewisBecome a fan
Freelance writer, blogger, humorist, aspiring best-selling author, wife, mama, Bea Arthur's biggest fan



After writing "I'm Guilty of These 5 Parenting Mistakes (And You Probably Are, Too)," I knew that I needed to write a post that pays homage to the major muck-ups that I make as a wife. Maybe I'll also blog about the mistakes that I make as a rainbow loom maker, Turbo Tax user and fitted sheet folder. Seriously, when it comes to mistakes, I'm experienced on how to make them in all areas.
My husband and I have been together for 12 years. It's sometimes hard to believe that if our relationship were a person it would be in the seventh grade, donning shiny braces and saying asinine things like "cray cray" and "totes."
Like all relationships, we've had our ups and downs. We've had arguments that ended with slamming doors and Michelin tires screeching down the driveway. We've declared our love and apologies over the phone once our tempers and transmissions cooled down. We've talked out our problems until the sun came up or one of husband's farts lightened the mood. We've prayed together, cried together, laughed together and gotten food poisoning together after eating disgusting undercooked burgers doused in Heinz 57.


Most importantly, we have prevailed. We have persevered. We are raising two unbelievable children (despite our parenting mistakes), and we both have the same vision of someday pointing our rocking chairs towards the west, watching our grandchildren score major grass stains on the lawn and sharing Glucosamine and Chondroitin supplements.

However, as a wife, I make mistakes. And I make them often. I don't need other wives telling me what mistakes I make, because I'm aware of them. You don't need me telling you what mistakes you make, either, but you probably make these.

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
I sometimes forget that my husband is my husband. He's been around for so long that it seems like he's just some dude leaving crumbs of Wavy Lays on the couch and dirty boxers on the floor right next to the hamper. I forget that he's a hard worker, a wonderful provider and a loving father. I forget that sometimes my sarcasm and jokes hit below the belt. I forget that my job as his wife is to encourage him, compliment him, value him and support him. I often forget that he deserves my utmost respect.

2. Let's Get It On
I'm tired. I'm tired a lot. By 9 p.m., the only things on my mind are folding the laundry, putting the kids' snacks in their backpacks, locking the doors, feeding the malnourished fish, setting the clocks, brushing my teeth, lotioning my ashy elbows and getting into the bed to watch a show that does NOT involve animated pirates, sappy music while Danny Tanner resolves an issue, restoring cars or selling rare finds at a Las Vegas pawn shop. I want to relax and heave a collected sigh of relief that the day is done. I have no desire to play birds and bees. But, by God, men need it. They might just implode if they don't get it. My husband is just as in need as the hungry Beta Fish. I often forget that I'm the one that must meet the need, whether or not I'm in the need-meeting mood.

3. Nothing Compares 2 U
Since the day my first child was born in 2006, she has been my reason for living. When her brother came along in 2010, he ranked right next to her on my priorities list. My children's happiness and well-being far trumps anything in my life. Sometimes their needs trump my husband's happiness and well-being. Date night shouldn't solely be about my SAHM batteries recharging and how many margaritas I can consume before it's time to go home. It should be about refreshing our relationship. I often forget that my husband needs my attention, my encouragement and my admiration as much as, if not more than, my children.

4. Control
I may make a ton of mistakes, but I know how to properly load a dishwasher. I also know how to hang a picture where it will be the most aesthetically pleasing in our home. I can discipline a kid and cook a meatloaf and I can pick out window treatments. I don't need help in any of these areas, but my husband sometimes thinks that he should deposit two pennies into those accounts. Before I even hear his suggestion on how to cram more dishes into the dishwasher or where to hang the portrait or how to spice up dinner, I shoot him down (see no. 1, R-E-S-P-E-C-T). Sometimes I make him think that his idea is the worst idea since Miley Cyrus squatted on a wrecking ball. I often forget that my husband has pretty good ideas and although I'll never admit it to him, that picture would look better over the mantle.

5. Pretty Woman
I once sent my husband the most brutally honest text message: "Let me know what time you'll be home so I can get out of my pajamas and appear to have been productive today." Some days the extent of my beauty regimen is brushing my teeth and popping the zit on my chin. If it's a particularly cold day, I refuse to wear anything that didn't come from the Gap Athletic Wear Collection. (FYI -- you don't have to actually be athletic to wear athletic wear). But, I know my husband appreciates it when I look nice. He never fails to tell me that I look beautiful when I've cleaned up and accessorized with scarves and dangly earrings. Some women like to believe that "inner beauty" is all a man needs. Newsflash -- it's not. Inner beauty is a wonderful, pure, lovely, noble thing. But a man also appreciates a nice-looking woman. I'm not saying that all women should morph into June Cleaver and mop Kool-Aid from the floor while wearing stilettos, but I often forget that removing eye boogers, washing the Crisco from my hair and trading the yoga pants for regular clothes once in a while is a step in the right direction.

Some days I feel as if I've really mucked up the whole wife-y thing. I rudely rolled my eyes at my husband, I didn't pat him on the back when he really needed it, I put my own needs and my children's needs before his. And the guilt sets in because I've got a really good man -- he's faithful, he's hard-working, he's kind, he's easy-going. Watching him interact with our children still melts my heart and makes me smile.

I often forget to do the right thing in our marriage, but I'll never forget how much I love my husband. That love is what fuels my desire to be better. That love is what makes me better today than yesterday. That love is the same love that will be in my heart when we rock on our back porch and watch our children and grandchildren. That love will be there when I forget to buy him Miralax or put tennis balls on his walker. I'll always make mistakes, but that love will always remain.

Now We Know What Mr. Potato Head's Wedding Would Look Like

Wedding photographer Chris Thornton was trying to figure out a way to explain his profession to his 3-year-old son. So he put it in terms a toddler could understand by staging and photographing a wedding for a pair of Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head dolls.


Check out some of our favorite shots below:








Serving Mr. Potato Head a baked potato at his own wedding? You've got to be kidding

How To Choose A Wedding Date In 7 Steps

By Davia Lee for Bridal Guide


Choosing a wedding date is one of the most important planning decisions that you'll have to make as a couple — it will impact every other aspect of your big day. You may have an idea of where you envision yourself walking down the aisle or what you want your cake to look like, but until you decide when you'd like to get married, you can't commit to anything. You might be asking yourself, "How do I pick a date that works for everyone and is still special to me?" or "Where do I even start?"
For every couple, the process is completely unique and that's part of what makes your wedding date so special to you. I hope that by sharing some planner insight — as well as my experience as a real bride — I can help you find the perfect time to say "I do."





Step #1: Take the weather into account.

The basics: The most popular months to get married are June, September, and October and it's no surprise why -- the weather is absolutely beautiful in early summer and fall. In general, you can plan for weather based on past records and standards, but always remember to continue to track it throughout your planning process as well.

I've planned weddings where we've encountered some unseasonably strange weather -- those of you who live in California remember that December/January heat wave we had! -- and the best way to deal with it is to add some cushion in your wedding budget for items like throws or fans. Think about your guests and their comfort level.

My take: I love every season for its unique beauty, but I knew that I didn't want to wear a wedding dress in mid-summer and that there was no way I could get my fiancé Jesse to wear a suit in 100 degree weather! So, we peeled back the layers of each season and ended up with spring. The weather won't be too warm and everything is so lush and pretty during that time of year.




Step #2: Consider all the factors of an off-season date.


The basics: Getting married in January or March might help cut your rental venue fee down but you have to be prepared to make sacrifices in other areas. For example, let's say that peonies are your absolute favorite flower and you can't imagine having a bouquet with anything else. Depending on the time of year, it may be hard (if not impossible) for your florist to find them at a price that fits your budget. (In general, off-season flowers are incredibly expensive.)

The same concept applies for Friday vs. Saturday weddings. Although a venue might be able to give you a break on their minimums for a Friday reception, be aware that the rest of your wedding vendors might not be able to.

My take: Since I'm getting married in the springtime, I am willing to spend a little extra on guest comforts such as throws, extra heaters, or a hot chocolate station. Bonus: Those amenities can serve double-duty as personalized guest favors or interactive activities throughout my wedding day.

Step #3: Lead the date selection process by creating a list of what you envision for your wedding day.


The basics: Imagine that your wedding day has finally arrived -- what do you see? A lush rose garden as the backdrop for your ceremony? Vineyards dripping with grapes ready for harvest? Snow-covered mountaintops? By narrowing down your potential wedding date to one season (or two), you can cut down your options in half.

My take: This is where the girly side of me comes into play! Jesse loves fields and greenery -- he's Irish, so it's in his blood -- and I'm a total flower girl. As much as I love November and December, I knew that flowers would be slim pickings during those months. So for me, it came down to wanting to create a beautifully lush setting for the entire day, ideally in a field in the middle of nowhere.



Step #4: Think twice before getting married on a major holiday.


The basics: In addition to Christmas, Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve, you may also want to reconsider tying the knot on religious holidays, event weekends (depending on your location), major sporting events, Father's Day and other holidays of this nature, and September 11th.

Although holiday weddings can be super fun and festive, your wedding date is something you want to celebrate for years to come because of the meaning behind it -- not because it was also New Year's Eve. Another thing to keep in mind is the significant costs that are associated with holidays weddings. For example, the price of roses during Valentine's Day is unbelievable, so having them at your big day could really put a dent in your overall budget.

But perhaps the biggest factor to consider is your guests. As much as they love you, do they really want to spend a major holiday celebrating you instead of being able to celebrate them? Yes, your wedding is about the two of you, but you also want to make it an event that your guests are excited about and can afford to attend. Hotels, flights and car rentals can all get very expensive, especially during a holiday weekend.

My take: Once we narrowed it down to springtime, Jesse and I had to decide whether we would get married in March, April or May. March is St. Patrick's Day, and as much as I love a good themed party, I don't see myself having a St. Patrick's Day wedding. May is Jesse's birthday month, so that was out! April it is.

Step #5: Focus on what you want your wedding day to be and how to portray that in a date.


The basics: At this stage, you should have your potential dates narrowed down to a month or two and this is where it gets fun! Within the months that made it to the final round, are there any dates that are meaningful to you as a couple or as individuals? Do you want to honor a family member who is no longer alive by getting married on their birthday or anniversary? Are there any dates you want to avoid?

My take: For this step, I started by asking Jesse if there were any dates in April that were special to him individually since we couldn't think of any for the two of us. (We started dating in March and we got engaged in January, and those are both already out.) He couldn't come up with anything, so I asked him what he thought about getting married on my grandparents' wedding anniversary, which is April 30th. They've been married for over 50 years now and have taught us how to love and enjoy life, so it seemed fitting that we could honor them. We both agreed that our wedding should take place on that day.





Step #6: Give yourself plenty of time and don't rush it!


The basics: I have planned full weddings in just a few months and we've all seen how weddings can be pulled together within weeks on TV. However, what you might not be aware of is the cost that it takes to ensure that a big celebration can be executed quickly.

When a bride reaches out to me and asks if we can plan her big day in a short amount of time, I always tell her that anything is possible, but there might be areas that she will have to sacrifice. For example, a custom wedding gown can take over a year to create, depending on what you want. Also, your custom logoed favors, centerpieces or invitations may not end up exactly how you had planned.
The moral of the story is to make sure you give yourself enough time to plan for the things that are truly important to you, whether it's incorporating lace from your mom's dress to use in your own gown or getting hand-crafted favors from your favorite travel destination.

My take: Being a wedding planner, my life is scheduled WAY in advance -- I already have events booked for early 2015 -- so I knew I needed to pick a date with enough time to really block everything out, especially if I want to be able to go on a honeymoon. Jesse and I knew that we would be looking at late 2015 to early 2016 for our wedding. This will give us plenty of time to bring in a number of custom details and let my creativity completely take over!




Step #7: Think about other aspects of your wedding and how they will all play out.


The basics: Now, depending on what other aspects of your wedding are important, you might want to keep an open mind to a few dates. What if your dream venue is booked or your favorite photographer is out of town? Better yet, what about the important people in your family? You will want to make sure they can attend!


My date: I wanted to make sure we had my grandparents' blessing, so the first thing we did was call them to ask if we could honor them by getting married on their wedding date. Of course they said yes and they were so thrilled! Next on the list was letting immediate family know. Since the date is so far out, we aren't officially announcing it with save-the-dates or an engagement party just yet, but more so, being respectful of them in letting them know that we do have a plan.

These Oscar Gowns Would Make Glamorous Wedding Dresses

The Oscars are a great place to look for wedding dress inspiration, and this year, celebs walked the red carpet and partied the night away in white hot gowns that could easily double as dresses for the big day.

From Kristen Bell's strapless Cavalli gown to Kelly Osbourne's Badgley Mischka number, Sunday's Academy Awards almost looked like the runway during Bridal Fashion Week -- and we couldn't be happier about it!

Check out the bridal-inspired Oscar dresses below.

Giuliana Rancic

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

In Paolo Sebastian.

Kelly Osbourne

Steve Granitz/WireImage

In Badgley Mischka.

Tara Lipinski

Steve Granitz/WireImage

In Rani Zakhem.

Cristin Milioti

Kevin Mazur/WireImage

In Reem Acra.

Kristen Bell

Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

In Cavalli.

Maria Menounos

Kevin Mazur/WireImage

In Johanna Johnson.

Portia de Rossi

Frederic J. Brown/AFP/Getty Images

In Naeem Khan.

Lara Spencer

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

In Kaufmanfranco.

Jenna-Dewan Tatum

Steve Granitz via Getty Images

In Reem Acra.

Cate Blanchett

Getty Images

In Armani Privé.

Paula Patton

Venturelli via Getty Images

In Celia Kritharioti.

14 Little Ways To Make Your Spouse's Day

Grand gestures are nice and all, but it's often the little things spouses do for each other that have the most impact. We recently asked our readers to tell us which small-but-sweet gestures have the power to make their day. Below are 14 acts of love and kindness that you can start doing for your husband or wife right now.


1) In the winter, start the car while your spouse is getting ready for work. Nothing beats a nice, toasty car on an ice-cold morning.


2) Kiss first thing in the morning before you even get out of bed. There's no better way to start the day!


3) Greet your husband or wife at the front door as soon as he or she gets home from work -- or anywhere.


4) Hide little gifts around the house. Treasure hunt, anyone?


5) Carry the laundry baskets to and from the laundry room when your wife is pregnant (or any time, really).


6) Text each other from work in the morning just to say "I love you" and "Have a great day".


7) Stock the fridge with your spouse's favorite food or drink.


8) Bring your love breakfast in bed. Because breakfast eaten underneath a comforter always tastes the best.


9) Make the coffee in the morning. Bonus points if you put out the cream and sugar, just the way your spouse likes it.


10) Have an early morning cuddle session. If the dog jumps in, all the better.


11) Put a sweet Post-it note in your spouse's lunch box. A simple midday "I love you" will instantly turn your husband or wife's frown upside-down.


12) Write a cute message in dry erase marker on the bathroom mirror. It puts a smile on your spouse's face before he or she even gets in the shower!


13) If you have small kids, get up first and change the baby's morning diaper.


14) Make dinner and do the dishes.

Habits of a Hot Marriage in the Middle of Motherhood and Monotony

Kristen Welch

wearethatfamily.com

He pulled me into the closet and closed the door. I could hear kids calling. We ignored them.

He whispered, "I miss Hawaii. I miss you."

We promised each other last summer, loving and living a carefree togetherness we hardly recognized, that we wouldn't slip back into the hurried routine and forget each other. My husband won a free trip with his job and this break in paradise was one of the first times in our nearly 19-year-old marriage that we had taken a trip without our kids.

But it's easy to make promises when this is your view:




And it's easy to forget them when this is your view:



Promises are much harder to keep in the making-breakfast-doing-laundry-paying bills-and-work-filled days. I believe it's called monotony. And it can kill your marriage.

Nearly two decades later, we are still each other's favorite person. Most days. We miss one another when we're apart and can't get enough when we're together. Usually. But we also let a messy house, a cold dinner, a parenting dispute, that unexpected bill -- you know, life -- come between us.

And our whispered white sand promises are lost in the busy monotony of our lives.

Yet we still vie for a hot marriage. I actually think about it. I see him through the kitchen window mowing the lawn, shirt off, hot and sticky, flecks of mud and grass stuck to his chest. And I think "hmmm...." He walks in from a long day of work, tie loose at his throat, and sits with our little girl and reads with her. It's just plain sexy.

But then dinner boils over and milk is spilled at the table, I scrub pots and pans, mop up messes, call out Science lab terms to my 6th grader, turn over a load of laundry and remind someone to feed the dog again. I walk outside to dump half-empty water bottles into my pots of wilted flowers and I'm greeted with the foul odor of the septic system. My husband heads out to Home Depot for chemicals because some things that stink just can't wait. I'm left to do baths and devotions and by the time he returns, I can hardly keep my eyes open. Tomorrow is filled with much of the same, a lesson here, a church group there... life has a way of going from Monday to Thursday in a snap and I can hardly remember that hot guy mowing the lawn.

I can confirm the temperature because I have known the extremes: a cold marriage, filled with contempt and misery. A lukewarm marriage, perhaps the worst, filled with idle days, stagnant affection and distant intimacy.

We have lived every season -- from unemployment to sickness to grief to sheer joy. Our favorite by far: White hot. It's also the most difficult to maintain.

Marriage is hard, hard, hard work. We never arrive and kick up our feet and ride the waves of hot monogamy. It takes faithful, committed, selfless habit-forming work in the middle of a boring routine. They say it takes 21 days or more to create a habit. I dare you to try the following six habits for the next month and see what happens:
Habits we try to repeat daily:

• Touch everyday: Make a conscious effort to grab his hand, run your hands through her hair, kiss for a couple of seconds. Set a goal to physically touch his arm when you're talking, tackle him in a hug in your closet, pat her butt on the way out the door.
• Be good forgivers: Perhaps the most crucial key is forgiveness. Listen, marriage is the union of two people prone to mistakes and sin. You can't control your spouse, but you can forgive. Refuse to pick them apart, turn molehills into mountains and wave the banner of unforgiveness.


• Make the little things big: The other day, my husband gave me a card and a new wallet, just because. It was a small thing, but it made a big impression. I knew he was thinking about me when we were apart. Connecting with your spouse in small ways that makes them feel loved is a big deal.


• Fill our minds with thoughts of each other. Let's be honest, we live in a world where it's easy to fill up our tank with outside influences. From the pretty girl in the office or in the magazine to the romantic, handsome guy in the novel we're reading or movie we're watching, there are many ways to get satisfaction outside of our spouse. Lust is ignited with a second look. But when we only let our mate fill up our tank, we are on the path to a marriage that is not only white hot, but holy.


• Go to bed at the same time: While this might not be possible every night, this habit is important because it is a quiet time to connect. Texting and chatting on the phone are a good substitute if you have to be a part. Nearly missing each other constantly brings a chaos to your home that isn't healthy for your marriage or family.


• Compliment each other. This might sound like a no-brainer, but 500 people can like my new hair cut and none of the compliments mean as much as his. Seeing him look at me -- really look and watch attraction ignite in his eyes is amazing. We were shopping the other day and I casually pointed out the green t-shirt on sale and said, "That would look good on you." My daughter tried to convince him to get the red one and I overheard him tell her, "No, mom likes the green." Your influence over your spouse is powerful, use it to bless them.

We get it right some days and miss the mark other days. But we never give up.

8 Things Happy Couples Don't Do

Sometimes, building a solid healthy relationship isn't just about what partners do, but what they don't do.

Here are 8 things that you won't find in the habits of happy couples.

Discourage each other.
Two people who love and care for each other would never attempt to discourage their partner or hold them back in life. They encourage and support each other when it comes to chasing after goals and dreams.

Holding someone else back while in a relationship will only lead to resentment in the long run -- ironically, loosening your grip often keeps someone closer.

Play mind games.
Even something as simple as "how long do I wait before I call?" goes out the window when you're with the right person who is mature and understands you. Call when you want to call, text when you want to text. There will be no games or manipulation when building a solid foundation for a relationship.

Doubt each other's feelings.
In a happy relationship, both partners know how much they mean to each other. Open communication and affection are important to minimizing insecurities and doubts.

Stop trying.
You know you've found a quality partner when they keep showing you how much you mean to them... long after they've got you.

Brush issues under the rug.
No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, but the challenges you face together are what make you stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. No problem can be extinguished unless it is faced, and couples who care for each other will be mature enough to have mature discussions and reach a conclusion.

When feelings are hidden, the other partner won't know what they need to do or change in order to keep the other happy, so nothing will improve.

Snoop around.
One of the key ingredients to a happy relationship is trust, and people who trust each other don't invade each others' privacy by snooping around. There should be no need for a password protected phone or deleting your Facebook chat history. Trusting couples should be open books to one another and will have no use for being sneaky.

Dig up the past.
We all have a past that has shaped us into who we are today. Some experiences for better, and others for worse. Happy, mature couples understand that about each other and don't use each others' pasts as ammunition in arguments or to start issues.

Let things get stale.
Both inside and outside of the bedroom, it's important that neither partner gets bored or feels as though things are getting stale. Often times intimacy in the bedroom is actually built outside of it through romantic gestures, showing of appreciation and affection, and always letting your partner know how much they mean to you.


Happiness in relationships is built on communication, trust, loyalty, and mutual respect. These are some of the cornerstones of love -- without one, the other cannot exist.

The Top 10 Bachelorette Party Destinations in 2014—Plus, a Cool Online Tool for Planning Your Weekend

Where bachelorette parties used to be one wild night on the town, more brides are using their bachelorette as an excuse for a real girlfriends' getaway with their 'maids. Both party options (one day vs. several) have their merits, but I'm a fan of the mini-vacay, when money permits. With that in mind, here are the 10 hottest destinations for bachelorette parties in 2014, according to the clever gal behind The Bach, an online tool that helps streamline bachelorette party planning while you're busy with, you know, everything else that comes with planning a wedding (and having a life).


1. LAS VEGAS
Fabulous Las Vegas is still the number one destination for both bachelor and bachelorette parties. Head here for rowdy pool parties, elaborate clubs, lively casinos, fantastic restaurants, and entertaining shows.

2. MIAMI
If your group loves warm weather and exciting nightlife, Miami is the perfect destination. Bachelorette parties flock to South Beach for wild pool parties, white sand beaches, and some of the steamiest nightclubs in the country.

3. NEW YORK CITY
NYC is known for its amazing nightlife and award-winning restaurants. With a huge variety of unique daytime activity options to add, your bachelorette group can do anything from a trapeze class to a sail around Manhattan.

4. NEW ORLEANS
If the bride is looking for a truly rowdy party scene, nothing compares to the bars on Bourbon Street. By day, your group can try flavorful creole cuisine, admire the distinct NOLA architecture, and enjoy some great jazz.

5. NAPA VALLEY
Napa Valley is all about drinking in style and relaxing over incredible wine-country views. Here you can taste some of the best wines in the country, relax at world-class spas, do a river cruise along the Napa River, or try something adventurous, like a hot-air balloon ride.

6. AUSTIN
As the live music capital of the world, Austin is the perfect destination if the bride loves catching shows. During the day, go tubing or rent a boat, and don't miss out on Austin's delicious Tex-Mex and barbecue spots.

7. CHARLESTON
The always-charming Charleston offers beautiful architecture, delicious Southern-style cooking, and a lively bar scene. During the day stroll through the quaint streets, hit the beach, or go out on a boat for the afternoon.

8. SCOTTSDALE
Scottsdale's warm weather, scenic landscapes, and gorgeous spas provide an ideal setting for a relaxing girls' getaway. At night, check out the lively bars and restaurants in the Old Town.

9. ATLANTIC CITY
Atlantic City is a favorite with many East Coast brides because they can relax on the beach during the day, then try their luck at gambling before dinner and dancing at one of the casino clubs.

10. CHICAGO
This cosmopolitan city has a fantastic restaurant and bar scene and tons of fun group activities to try. Bachelorette parties can choose from cooking and art classes, comedy and cabaret shows, burlesque classes, and more.

Do you want a bachelorette weekend? Or just one night? Which of these cities would you pick?
Brides who want a multi-day party, remember: The bachelorette getaway is a luxury, not a mandatory event, so you need to graciously give cash-strapped bridesmaids or those with kids—or, heck, those who just don't want to use their vacation days—a break.

How Couples Can Avoid Fighting About the Wedding

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway


Now that you are in the midst of planning your big day, you may find yourself feeling so crazed by wedding planning that you forget to nurture your relationship. It is not uncommon for couples to temporarily leave the "Love Boat" and hop a ride on the "Stress Express" before they even make it down the aisle.


Even when you steeped in tasks and tackling a huge to-do list, stressed-out couples need to take time out to honor the love they have and keep the lines of communication open.

If you ever feel your relationship needs a tune up, the first thing you can do is think back to the early days of love, when all you could think about was each other. And think back to the moment when you became engaged, when you were floating on air! Remember the things that led you to want to marry in the first place.

Here's a little exercise for clearing the air if you ever find yourself annoyed with each other, unloving toward each other, or stuck in a wedding planning rut. Just set aside some special time to share what's on your mind.

• Designate a special "Us Time." Make sure you have an appropriate setting and privacy and take a few moments to sit together quietly, decompressing from every day stress.

• Share a few moments of silent meditation. Just hold hands, look deeply into each others eyes and breathe in unison.

• Once you feel calm and connected, take turns sharing what is on your minds. For example, you speak for 15 to 30 minutes then your beloved speaks for 15 to 30 minutes.

• Don't yell, shame, or blame your beloved. If you are feeling unhappy about something, be careful not to blame or dump on your partner. Instead of saying, "I am so upset because you did this ... use statements that allow you to take responsibility. For example, "I would feel very supported if you would ... "

• Communicate clearly. Tell each other what your needs are so that you do not have to argue or try to act out your upsets. Makes sure each of you gets a chance to share and that the other listens in silence so that you can both clear whatever is weighing on you.

• Be loving. Although each of you must bear witness when the other talks, don't hesitate to touch one another or look at one another tenderly.

• Seal it with a kiss. Once you've both had a chance to say all that's on your mind, seal it with a hug and a kiss --and a vow to keep the channels of communication open.

If you find yourself coming up against an issue - over and over -- that neither of you seems to be able to come to truce about, consider counseling. Even a session or two with a trained therapist can be helpful.

Feel free to use this exercise after the wedding day and any time your relationship needs a tune-up!
Note: I first learned about this technique from therapist Richard Cohn, PhD.

This Man Bravely Pranked His Girlfriend Days Before Proposing

For some, the days leading up to a marriage proposal are stressful and filled with unknowns: Will she (or he!) be surprised? Will she like the ring? What will she say?
For others, it's a time to prank their significant others -- like the brave man below who snapped photos of himself holding the engagement ring in plain sight of his true love and posted them to Reddit. Check them out below:

"The weekend before popping the question, I decided to be ballsy and see just how far I could go with taking pictures of myself with the ring with my girlfriend in the background and not realizing."



"She didn't realize it was right over her head, she was too into watching TV. The best was we were watching one of those bridal shows on TLC, Friday is Bride Day."



"She really likes Eeyore."


"Visiting her at work."



"Needed some eggs for dinner that night."

"She was getting annoyed why I was taking so many selfies for no reason."


Of course, his girlfriend's annoyance quickly turned to joy when she found out what he was up to. Our man did finally stop taking selfies and got down on one knee.

"She thought it was all hilarious after the fact. Bonus picture of popping the question just before she said "yes."

We love happy endings.