10 Ways to Ensure Your Wedding Guests Have an Absolute Blast

Photo: Ira Lippke Studios

Obviously lush flowers and a gorgeous venue are some of the elements of a beautiful wedding, but picture-perfect décor doesn't ensure an epic party. Score a 10 out of 10 for overall experience by following these simple yet effective tips that will have your guests talking about your wedding for years to come.

1. Ask for Song Requests
To ensure everyone is having a great time and dancing the night away, have your guests request a song via the invitation response, recommends Key Largo wedding planner Lynn D'Ascanio of Dasignerevents.com. "Give this list of songs to your DJ, along with the name of the person who requested each song. That way, if the dance floor starts to thin out, the DJ can play songs off of the request list." This pretty much guarantees that the person who requested the song will get up and dance and encourage others to do so as well.

2. Don't Let Your Friends and Family Talk Forever
"Many fun events have been driven into the ground by deathly long speeches," points out Lynn Jawitz, owner of Florisan Wedding and Event Design in NYC. To keep the party popping, ask your speech givers to keep their toasts short and sweet.

3. Remember to Thank Your Guests
Speaking of speeches, it's important to let your guests knows how much you personally appreciate them coming. "It's hard to believe how often this simple step is overlooked," notes Jawitz. "Bite the bullet, make a speech (keep it short, of course) and just genuinely thank your guests for dropping their lives that day to share it with you."

4. And Keep Them in the Know
According to D'Ascanio, the best weddings are the ones that are organized and follow a timeline. "When the events of the day unfold in a timely manner, and the bridal party and guests alike are not left standing around wondering what's next or where they should go or what they should be doing, the entire day seems flawless."

5. Add in an Element of Surprise
Who doesn't love a special surprise at a wedding? "You could hire a group of singers or dancers disguised as wait staff to break out into song or dance during dinner," suggests D'Ascanio. Or you and the groom could perform a practiced dance routine yourselves for the first dance, offers Greg Jenkins, founder of Bravo Productions. "A 'wow' factor can be memorable and will ensure your guests have a blast."


6. Opt for a Short Ceremony
If possible, try to keep your ceremony simple and short in length. "A long, drawn-out ceremony takes away that guest energy level at the onset, and sometimes it cannot be recovered for the reception," warns Jenkins.

7. Give Birthday Shout Outs
Does your BFF have a birthday on the same day as your big day? Or is it his parents' anniversary too? "Have your MC acknowledge any birthdays and/or anniversaries with a dedicated song during the reception," advises Daniela Grafman, wedding & special events coordinator at Vision Entertainment Group LLC. People love attention. Plus, it's just a sweet gesture.

8. Hire a Great Band or DJ
After all, they can, in fact, make or break a party. Florida wedding planner Aviva Samuels of Kiss The Planner, recommends looking for a high energy performer, while being careful not to choose an annoying personality to be your MC. "Great vocals, great dance moves and great spunk will have everyone up on their feet until it's time to go home. Seamless song transitions and the ability to read the crowd when they want to hear more of the same sound or a desire to switch to a different sound is where a DJ's talent also comes into play."

9. Provide Transportation
If you're hosting a destination wedding or your wedding is in a remote location, be sure to provide transportation for guests from their hotel to your wedding and back, says Lauren Randolph, founder of My Hotel Wedding. "This way people don't have to worry about driving home drunk, which guarantees that they can party harder."

10. Allow Your Guests Plenty of Free Time
This is particularly important if you have a destination wedding or a bunch of guests in from out of town, says professional wedding planner Sandy Malone of Weddings in Vieques. "Back to back activities after a long trip will run them into the ground. Let them have some time and space to explore and they'll be refreshed and excited at all of your events." We concur.

After 31 Wedding Anniversaries At Red Lobster, A Widow Got An Adorable Surprise When She Went Alone

Reddit user Coppin-it-washin-it’s parents spent every wedding anniversary at a local Red Lobster. When his dad passed away, his sister took his mom out for dinner on their anniversary. Then they got the bill:

i.imgur.com / Via reddit.com

The note the servers left for them reads:

We are sorry to hear about your husband’s passing, but we appreciate your loyalty in spending 31 years of your anniversary with us. For your appreciation your meal is on us! We look forward to spending your next anniversary with us?
Sincerely,
Red Lobster + your server, Taylor

The note was posted on Reddit Wednesday night and it quickly went viral.

reddit.com

BuzzFeed reached out the original Reddit user and haven’t heard back. But according to their comments on the post, the servers never let on what they were planning on doing.

“The waitress asked if there was a special occasion or if they were just hungry. My sister explained that my parents had been going there every year for their anniversary. The waitress then asked why my dad wasn’t there and they explained how he had passed away in March. She said she was sorry to hear that and then it was just a normal meal like any other after that. Until they got the bill.”

A spokesperson from Red Lobster told BuzzFeed the heartwarming moment did actually happen in a Missouri location. After the Reddit post started going viral, Red Lobster’s PR team decided to track down the server.

google.co.uk

“We’re truly proud of the Columbia team,” the Red Lobster rep said. “We also extend our wishes to the family who dined with us and look forward to serving them again next year!”

i.imgur.com / Via reddit.com

This has been your much-needed reminder that cute things can happen in real life.

What Every Bride Over 30 Ought to Know About Her Wedding Photos

Having photographed hundreds of 30-something couples and their weddings, here are 10 of the things I've learned.

1. Their wedding is an intimate celebration of love. It's not about making a big show. There's no guest invited because of office politics or because they're trying to impress someone. Every person in attendance has a personal, meaningful connection with the bride or groom. She wants a photographer who fits in with that vision that this is a celebration, not a circus.

2. Her wedding isn't a frat booze party. She's not in college anymore. Her wedding isn't going to be about how drunk she and her friends can get on the dance floor and having pictures of that. Instead, she wants photos depicting genuine moments with her loved ones and dear friends. That's what her wedding day is about.

3. The photographer better be at the same emotional maturity as the bride. She doesn't want to be treated like she's still 20-years-old by a photographer trying to get her to do juvenile antics for the camera like jumping in the air or making fart jokes to get her to smile.

4. She prefers to be immersed in her wedding, not pulled away to pose for staged photos. To her, photos of her celebrating and having fun with her guests trump cookie-cutter shots of being dipped backwards in a kiss.

5. She wants a knowledgeable and skilled photographer. Her tastes have become more refined. She's seen wedding photos that look like her cousin could've taken -- snapshots of people milling around, nothing too exciting -- and she wants better than that rudimentary level of photographer.

6. The photographer needn't take a thousand shots concentrating on just her all night long. She wants to see virtually all her guests represented in her photos. Those are the memories she wants. Even though they say the wedding's all about the bride, this bride wants to see her guests having the time of their lives too.

Besides which, she feels the best photos of her are always when she doesn't even know the camera is there.

7. She wants to feel a connection with the photographer. She has to feel the photographer understands what's important to her. It's not a simple matter of her "handing over the keys" to her memories and blindly trusting a photographer just because they're a photographer. I find communication is key in connecting with the bride.

8. She doesn't want photos that look the same from one wedding to another. She actually wants unique images from her wedding, which stumps a lot of photographers because they can't fathom how a wedding can be that different from any other wedding that their photos would look any different. But in my work I've discovered this has more to do with how the wedding's different more than it has to do with what is different about the wedding.

9. She wants to know who her photographer is. Maybe if she were younger, not sure of what she wanted, she'd be okay with the studio sales person picking out a freelance photographer for her, handing off a responsibility like that to the sales staff. But the 30-something bride wants to personally know who the people on her team are. And she wants the best people, which is why she hand picks them.

10. She doesn't follow wedding photo trends. A few years ago, the trend was to take a photo sitting on a couch in a meadow. Last year it was to take a photo pretending to run from dinosaurs. Whatever. The 30-something bride doesn't want to waste time on her wedding day doing novelty photos which will look dated soon enough.

More important to her: getting meaningful and timeless photos.

Is this all I've discovered?
No, but it's certainly the top ten. There's more. Generally speaking, a 30 something person's world is entirely different than it was for them at 20. They've evolved, grown as a person with life experiences, have emotionally matured and now have a stronger handle on who they are, what they like, what they don't like, and what they want. And that's reflected in every aspect of their wedding.
So working on their weddings is like having knowledge in a specialized field. My other 30-something couples whose weddings I've photographed can attest to that!

13 Secrets Of Happily Married Couples

It's often said that marriage is a lot of work -- so it's refreshing to hear from couples who not only figured out how to make their love last, but are having an awesome time doing it.

On Sunday, a Redditor posed the question, "Why are you still married?" The replies, from real-life couples who are just as in love now as when they said "I do," give a glimpse into the makings of a lasting marriage.

Below, 13 secrets of happily married couples:

1. They trust each other.
"We don't judge each other. We trust each other. We don't have one of those wild tempestuous marriages. No one will ever write a book about us and there will never be a Lifetime movie based on our relationship. But I am in exactly the kind of relationship I have always wanted."




2. They take the good with the bad and become stronger for it.
"We are coming up on 19 years next week. I am still married because I totally respect him for how he has held my hand through the bad times. The good times were good, but the bad times were 10x worse. His friendship and commitment never wavered."

3. They respect each other.
"Married for 39 years. Why? I still get that funny warm feeling in my stomach when I hear his car drive into the driveway. He treats me with respect and he's a hell of a lot of fun on a road trip."

4. They're honest with each other.
"11 years together, two years married ... he provides me support when I need it and tells me when to 'suck it up, princess'. He deals with all of my family bullshit and brings me ice cream ... he gives the best hugs and is amazing in bed."

5. They find joy in the little things.
"He's the person I most want to hang out with whether it's going out eat, acting like an idiot at a concert, or just sitting together watching TV. And he feels the same way about me. It's great. No matter what life throws us (and it's thrown a lot so far!), we always know we will be there for each other."




6. They embrace each other's differences.
"I love being married. My wife and I are opposites. I am impulsive, she is detailed. I am aggressive she is reserved. Together we are like a fucking superhero, winning and conquering all!"

7. Sure, they argue, but they always fight fair.
"[My husband] never has unkind words for me, even when he's upset. It means the world to me that we can 'argue' and still say 'I love you.'"

8. They have fun, even when doing absolutely nothing at all.
"The most important thing starting out was that we loved being with each other. We made each other laugh. We could do something or nothing and have a great time because we were together. We just fit."

9. They cheer each other on.
"Married for 25 years. She is a force of nature, all 104 pounds of her. This woman does everything, sings like an angel, dances, cooks, mixes cement, lays tiles, does woodworking, quilts, builds mosaics, gardens, runs her own restaurant and bed and breakfast. She is so alive. She lights up the room every time she walks in with her joy."

10. They love each other -- flaws and all.
"[My wife] made a man out of a mess. She allowed me to make mistakes without hating me for it ... she loves me when no one else does ... she made me whole."

11. They feel lucky that they found each other.
"We've been together for 10, married for three. He is literally the best person I have ever known. I would do anything for him. We make each other ridiculously happy, it's kind of gross ... We play video games together, go climbing together, cook together, you name it. Sometimes I cannot believe how lucky I am because this relationship is so damn easy."




12. They support each other.
"[My husband] is so supportive in everything I do. He lifts me up when I'm down, always encourages me when I feel discouraged and when I need to talk about my feelings, he's always there to listen. I mean it when I say I married my best friend."

13. They understand that "in sickness and in health" is more than a phrase -- it's a promise.
"We've been married nine years, together for 13. Eight years ago I became significantly disabled. We were a two income house and I took care of pretty much everything at home. And then I couldn't work anymore. I couldn't cook or clean. I couldn't do our grocery shop or pay our bills. I know he didn't think he could do it, but he does it all. He finished his PhD while still working and having to do all the housework and even down to having to bathe me when I couldn't ... He's a remarkable man and I adore him."

9 Things You May Not Know About Marriage

It wasn't until I set out to write a novel about marriage that I realized how little I knew about the institution. I've been married for five years now so it would stand to reason that I'd know a thing or two. But the truth is, many of us take marriage for granted without knowing much about its history, changing shape, and varied role in cultures different than our own.

So before I sat down and put pen to paper for my novel After I Do, which is, at this point, merely a figurative way of saying "opened my laptop," I did a bit of research on the contract that so many of us find ourselves aspiring to, living in, or recovering from.


9 Things You May Not Know About Marriage:

1. The first recorded marriages appear in history around 2000 B.C. in Mesopotamia. The purpose of these marriages were primarily to preserve power, gain land, and produce heirs. That being said, monogamy, polygamy, family units, and romantic relationships all pre-date recorded history.

2. Love was not relevant to marriage until the Enlightenment. It was a novel idea, in the 17th century, to be in love with your spouse. Previous to that, love between a husband and wife was considered highly inappropriate in some cultures and detrimental to a marriage in others. Love was often considered something to be sought out outside the marriage. Romantic marriage, which is to say marrying for the sole purpose of love, didn't become commonplace until after the Industrial Revolution, when men could make enough money on their own to afford to reject their parents' choice of a spouse.

3. In Western society, wearing a white dress on your wedding day was not popular until the Victorian Era. Queen Victoria wore a white gown when she married Prince Albert. The wedding photograph was widely published and started the trend of women wearing white gowns. The trend never made its way east, however. Wedding dresses in countries such as China and India are typically red, which is a traditional color of good luck.

4. Gretna Green, a village in Scotland, is famous for runaway weddings. The town became popular after The Marriage Act of 1753, which pertained to England and Wales. The law set forth a number of requirements for marriage such as church involvement and a marriage license. Because the laws in Scotland were much more lax, couples would run to the nearest accessible Scotland town, typically Gretna Green, in order to marry. The trend died down in the 1800s when Scotland started requiring a 21 day residency in order to marry, but when that was lifted in 1977, it once again became a destination for the betrothed. Today, the area hosts around 5,000 weddings a year.

5. Any American couple that has been married for fifty or more years can receive an anniversary card from the President and First Lady of the United States. You can request a card be sent by contacting your representatives or writing to the White House general address. They recommend sending the request several months in advance.

6. The Netherlands was the first country in the world to pass marriage equality. Today, seventeen nations recognize same sex marriage. Those nations are Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, England, France, Iceland, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden, Uruguay and Wales. Sub-jurisdictions in other nations such as Mexico and the U.S. recognize same sex marriage as well.

7. The longest living marriage is that of Karam and Katari Chand who have been married for 88 years. Karam, the husband, is 108 and Katari, the wife, is 106. They married in India in 1925. The longest married couple on record is Daniel and Susan Bakeman. They were married in New York City on August 29th, 1772 and their marriage lasted a shade over 91 years.

8. As of 2012, the Philippines and the Vatican City are the only jurisdictions which do not allow divorce. Divorce was only recently legalized in Italy (1970), Brazil (1977), Spain (1981), Ireland (1996), Chile (2004), and Malta (2011).

9. According to a study done at the University of Chicago, more than a third of marriages between 2005 and 2012 began online. The study also found that online couples have happier, longer marriages.

Of course, marriage is an institution with a deep history and a far-reaching scope. It has changed shape over thousands of years and taken on different meanings, traditions, and values all over the world. For anyone interested in finding more about marital conventions in other time periods and cultures (many of which run the gamut from fascinating to heartbreaking), I recommend googling the following search terms as a starting point: ghost marriage, avunculate marriage, dowry death, marriage markets, sati, forced marriage, grey divorce, collective weddings, and the work of the psychologist John Gottman. I have often lost whole days jumping from one Wikipedia article after another in an attempt to understand the full scope of marriage as an institution.

And what I've learned from all of this is that humans have a virtually unlimited number of approaches to marriage. There are, essentially, as many opinions on marriage as there are people in the world.
Which is good news for someone like me, who could discuss the details of marriage until I'm blue in the face, because it means there are always more facts to find and more books to be written.

5 Simple Ways to Be the Best Wedding Guest

Photo: Megan Clouse


Weddings are fun — especially when you're attending as a guest. You get all the perks of the "I do's" without worrying about any of the planning. But if you don't know anyone else attending the celebration, the situation can be a bit daunting. Not to worry: making a good first impression is not as hard as it seems. Here are our five rules on how you can be the best wedding guest ever.


1. Bring your style A-game.
Elegance and class are vital, but functionality is key as it's a marathon day with a lot of dancing involved. White is an obvious color to avoid (that's reserved for the bride) and you should definitely stay within the confines of the theme if there is one. But, you also want to make sure you feel good about your outfit — confidence is essential.


2. Don't be afraid to mingle!
It can be a bit uncomfortable to be at a wedding where everyone is a stranger, but remember: You're all there because you mean something to the bride and groom so you already have at least one thing in common. Be sure to smile and spark up a convo with your table mates. Ask them how they know the couple and go from there. Easy, right?


3. Hit the dance floor.
This will be one of the best parties you will ever attend, so dancing is obviously mandatory. Even if you don't have moves like Beyoncé (who does really?), be sure to get on your feet and let loose.


4. Show restraint when it comes to drinking.
Open bar seems amazing, but it can quickly turn bad if you do not pace yourself. If you're going to imbibe, make sure you do it in moderation. Hydrate before the reception kicks into high gear and continue to drink glasses of water in between cocktails to keep yourself together. After all, you don't want to be that person.


5. Have fun!
The wedding took the bride and groom months of planning and cost a pretty

How to Accurately Estimate Your Bar Consumption

As you begin planning your wedding, you will quickly realize how bombarded you are with options for just about EVERYTHING. Couples often report that of those options, the most confusing (and potentially pricey) is the question of what to do about the bar. Beverages are a large part of any party, whether you have an open bar with alcohol or a non-alcoholic event. Some venues will allow you to book a bar package (a flat rate for an open bar for a period of time) while others insist on a consumption-based approach (total drinks consumed counted at the end of the event). Overall, when it comes to your wedding, I recommend that you book a bar package. If your venue won't allow this (or if you just want to better evaluate your options) I have some tips for you on how to estimate your consumption.



Photo credit: Vince and Carla on My Hotel Wedding

Weddings are the social event of the season and people drink more at weddings than any other social gathering. Couples often underestimate the amount of alcohol their guests will consume, so I caution them to slightly overestimate on this part of their budget. And seriously, wouldn't you prefer to overshoot a little and get money back as opposed to under estimate and owing more?

Here's how to get a relatively accurate cost per person for alcohol consumption at your wedding:

Cocktail Hour - For a (1) hour cocktail reception, estimate (2) drinks per person. For a (2) hour cocktail reception, estimate (3) drinks per person and so on. The idea here is that each person will go through roughly 2 drinks within the first hour then start to slow down a little. Frankly, when cocktails last more than an hour your guests will be hungry, drunk and sore on their feet by the time dinner is served. So keep it to one hour max and everyone will be happy.

Reception, Dinner & Dancing - Estimate one (1) drink per person for every hour the reception lasts. This is pretty straightforward. Whether or not you have wine on the table (unless that's the only alcohol you're serving) it's the same idea, one (1) drink every hour.

Example - Cocktails for one hour (2 drinks/person) + Reception for five hours (5 drinks/person) = 7 drinks per person. Then take this number and multiply it by the most expensive beverage in the bar package you've chosen. 7 drinks x $8 Margarita = $56 per person in bar consumption.

Yes, this number may feel high, but in my experience coordinating weddings over the years, it balances out most of the time between younger guests who drink lots more and older guests who drink less or switch to water later in the evening. This also accounts for guests who start drinking a beverage, place it down half full and then head to the bar for another drink since they're not paying.


Photo credit: Micah and Megan Photography

Hint: Ask your Catering Manager if it's possible to give you a heads up when it seems you are getting close to your budgeted amount for bar consumption. This way you can say yes or no to keeping the bar open. Cheers!

Lauren SullivanTODAY

  

Some people call me dramatic. I like to say I exaggerate for effect. But everyone admitted my freak-out was warranted when, three weeks before my wedding last October, I found myself without a wedding dress.

I want to blame the downtown boutique that sold me my first dress (traumatic details on that below), but looking back, I realize that every predicament I found myself in was actually preventable — it’s just that I didn't know what to expect. Allow me to spare you from making the mistakes I made.

1. “Say Yes to the Dress” is not real life
There will not be a crowd of 12 hooting, hollering or happy-crying when you walk out in “the dress.” Most stores (including Kleinfeld, where #SYTTD films) only let you bring two people — maybe three — to your appointment.

My tip: Invite the most honest person you know and the most sensitive person you know. My mom (honest) would tell me if a dress flat-out didn’t work (after trying dozens on, sometimes you lose touch with reality). And my aunt (sensitive) told me I looked beautiful in everything. And my friends stayed home.

Shannon Collins

 

My hubby and I got married at the quaintest bed-and-breakfast in Philadelphia.

 

2. If you don’t wear strapless dresses in real life, don’t wear a strapless dress on your wedding day
Ninety percent of the wedding dresses you’ll look at will be strapless, which makes absolutely no sense when you think of how few real-life dresses are strapless. I was talked into buying a strapless dress — "Have an open mind!" — even though I've never worn one in my life. (Except when those Juicy Couture felt-y dresses were briefly a thing. Was that Summer '05?) Your wedding day is not the day to try a new style.

3. If a dress does not look good on you at the store, don’t believe “It’ll fit better in your size”
I was told the sample I tried on would work when it arrived in my size — that I wouldn’t even need a bra. (That should have been a red flag; I have a size D cup). When my strapless dress arrived, I was shocked to find it offered no support to my rack. When I brought it to a seamstress, she suggested spaghetti straps. SPAGHETTI STRAPS.

4. Go to a store with an in-house seamstress
If the dress comes in and does not work on your body (did I mention the spaghetti strap suggestion?), you’ll want the store that sold you the dress to feel invested in the final result. Plus, in-house seamstresses are familiar with the dresses on their boutique’s racks, and know ahead of time what’s possible and what’s not.

5. If you don’t go to a store with a seamstress, splurge on a good one
I took my ill-fitting strapless dress to the (relatively) cheaper of two recommended seamstresses for a fitting. After hearing I needed to deconstruct the entire dress over the course of a month to make it work (“You have large breasts! You need a bra!”), I took it to a pricey New York City tailor. She didn’t fix the dress I hated, but she offered lots of options — and she didn’t make me cry.

Shannon Collins

 

This is me crying. Not because I am marrying my best friend, but because I finally found a dress.

 

6. If you cry hard enough, a store will stay open late for a consultation
This is the part where I return the strapless dress.

J. Crew’s wedding dresses are simple and wonderful — and can be shipped overnight. After I realized that the first dress I bought — which was lost and delayed even though I'd paid to have it rushed — would not fit the way the boutique I bought it from said it would, I found myself sobbing and wandering the streets aimlessly. Then, a friend told me to get to J. Crew. Staffers offered me Pellegrino and tissues and told me they were booked solid, but that if I came back at 8 p.m. (after the store closed!), they would squeeze me in. And they did! Into a dress that arrived at my front door by noon the next day.

7. Pre-owned dresses are awesome
Until I found myself without a dress just 20 days before my wedding, I didn’t consider wearing a pre-owned dress. But, while waiting for my last-minute J. Crew appointment, I scoured the Internet for other off-the-rack options, and found that one I absolutely loved — a whimsical Alberta Ferretti gown WITH straps (not spaghetti!) — was being sold for one-third of its original cost by a girl within driving distance. I made it to her apartment, tried on her dress (which was in perfect condition, having only been worn once) and wrote her a check.

I’m not the only bride to deal with wedding dress drama; when I shared my saga with my coworkers, everyone seemed to have a helpful tip — the kind of advice that could have saved me a lot of stress.
So from us to you, here’s what TODAY newlyweds wish we’d known before buying a wedding dress:

Rebecca Davis / TODAY

 

Bobbie Thomas married in a Le Spose di Gio gown on May 31, 2013.

 

8. Keep an open mind
As you know, I let TODAY.com viewers pick my dress ... and for me, it was probably best to let go and just trust. I swooned for a dramatic navy blue floral Douglas Hannant ball gown and then considered a sweet simple white cotton maxi dress. I can be indecisive, and with six weeks to plan everything, it helped to have some boundaries. - Bobbie Thomas, TODAY style editor

Charisse Larado

 

Charisse got married at the Bel-Air Bay Club in Los Angeles.

 

9. Don’t be scared to hate your “dream” dress
I walked in with a clear image of what type of dress I wanted and ended with something TOTALLY different. You have to be able to kill your darlings… even in the dressing room. - Charisse Larado, TODAY producer

10. Don’t commit to a dress until you’ve set the date and picked your location
What you love might not fit with the season and/or venue you ultimately book. A silk dress for a summer southern wedding? You’re going to sweat straight through that puppy! - Charisse Larado

11. If you buy a dress that you hate, don’t worry
You can always buy another one and resell the first dress online. - Charisse Larado

Amsale

 

Katie's getting married in September in Cape Cod. (No sneak peeks!)

 

12. If you order within the six-month mark, you can be charged a rush fee
Be sure to make a decision before six months to go hits (if you aren't planning on buying off the rack). - Katie Buckley, TODAY producer

13. Don't feel pressured to buy the veil or accessories from the bridal salon
Shop around for accessories. A bridal boutique in New York tried to sell me a veil for $1,100. I took a photo, brought it to a fabric store in the Garment District, and they made the same one for around $375. - Katie Buckley

Adagion Studio; Vivian Fel Solomon

 

Vivian married at the Ritz-Carlton in Naples.

 

14. Go to a store where you can actually walk through and touch dresses, feel fabrics, etc.
Pictures of dresses and actual dresses can feel quite different. - Vivian Fel Solomon, TODAY producer

15. Trust your gut
I was surprised to like a lot of dresses on! And any of them would have totally worked. But there is *one* that sticks in your head. Take a walk after trying dresses on to clear your head…and you will keep thinking and imagining yourself in the *one*. It's subjective. You have to love it. - Vivian Fel Solomon

Kate Osborne

 

Amy married in a church on Manhattan's Upper West Side.

 

16. Eat a good meal before you go shopping...
...Even if you think you want to be as slender as you can be for the experience. If you get hungry, you will get cranky and that makes everything worse. I become an emotional, indecisive mess on an empty stomach, so I downed a Chipotle burrito before heading to the bridal shop. Keeping it classy. - Amy Eley, TODAY.com producer

17. Keep an eye out for sales at the store even after you buy the dress
J. Crew ran a 30-percent off sale on wedding dresses three weeks after I bought my gown. I called and they honored the new sale price. Cha-ching! - Amy Eley

18. If your dress has sleeves, make sure you can lift your arms up
I could not, and I didn’t realize that until my wedding day when I went to hug my husband. - Amy Eley

19. Don’t buy a smaller dress and put that pressure on yourself to lose weight before the big day
J. Crew only had a size 2 left of my gown. I am not a size 2 (never have been) but I convinced myself that I could chug green juice and exercise every day and then I would be a size 2. Guess what? My wedding day came around and I was still not a size 2. Breathing was a major struggle. - Amy Eley

20. Wear the same bra to your fitting that you’ll wear on your wedding day
A tip from my seamstress to get that bodice fitting just right. - Amy Eley

Steph Goralnick

 

Meena and Adam Duerson wed in Montauk in September of 2011.

 

21. It's ok to get cold feet — about your dress
It’s normal to regret your wedding dress in the months between buying it and actually getting to your fittings, since you don’t get to spend that much time in the dress before you have to pull the trigger — and then you have to wait so long for your actual gown to arrive.

I bought a dramatic, mermaid-style dress — exactly the opposite of what I thought I would end up with — because when I put it on, it felt amazing and fun. But in the months before my fittings, all I had to remember it by was a blurry photo snapped by one of my friends from a bad angle, and I started to feel like I’d made a huge mistake. I couldn’t stop thinking about another dress I’d almost bought, a slim, silky cut. As I waited for my dress to arrive, this other dress loomed large in my memory. But sure enough, when I finally put my dress on, the original feelings flooded back — I was so happy! — exactly what I wanted.

If you loved it when you bought it, don’t stress! As long as you were sure it was “the one” when you put it on and it makes you feel beautiful and happy, then it will still make you feel that way when it’s time for you to actually wear it. - Meena Duerson, TODAY.com editor

You see, it shouldn’t have to be that hard!

Wedding Flowers: Top 10 Wedding Flowers

Picture yourself walking through a glorious garden with every flower at its peak. Which flowers would you pick for your wedding? The commonplace? The colorful? The rarest? Most fragrant? Unscented? Having trouble deciding from the thousands of varieties available? To help you narrow down your bouquet and centerpiece choices before you meet with your florist, we offer this overview of the top 10 most popular wedding flowers.

1. The Rose

Long considered a symbol of beauty and love, the rose figures into many myths and fairy tales. Romantic writers and poets have used the flower as a metaphor for emotion, beauty, passion, and true love throughout the ages. An all-star in the world of weddings, the rose is far from boring, particularly when it comes to color -- the rose is available in solid colors and bicolor varieties, and there are striped roses and tipped roses as well. More than three thousand varieties of roses are grown commercially, many available year-round and that are surprisingly affordable. And though roses are associated with luxurious fragrance, not every rose is scented. Three main types are likely candidates for your wedding flowers: hybrid tea roses (the classic, uniformly-shaped commercial roses generally seen at your local florist), spray roses (a rose with five to 10 small heads on each stem and a "natural, garden-grown" look), and garden roses (expensive, old-fashioned varieties with bushy, open heads and delicious scents).

2. The Tulip

Although it's most often associated with the Netherlands, this flower is actually a native of Persia. Representing "consuming love" and "happy years," the tulip can be a meaningful wedding choice. The flowers are grown in a wide range of colors, including white and cream; pastels like pink, yellow, and peach; and vibrant hues like magenta, red, and purple. Available during much of the year, the most common tulips are very affordable, though rare varieties can be expensive. The versatile tulip can enhance both elegant wedding settings and more casual venues, and work well in almost any permutation -- from bouquets to boutonnieres to table arrangements. Three main varieties are commonly used: Dutch tulips (typically seen at neighborhood florist shops and in gardens), French tulips (expensive and elegant, with extra-long stems and large tapered blooms), and parrot tulips (noted for their ruffled, striped petals in intense colors).

3. Calla Lily

Also known as the arum lily, this elegant, trumpet-shaped blossom originated in Africa and symbolizes "magnificent beauty" in the language of flowers. The calla lily's distinctive form has been depicted in Art Nouveau and Art Deco works, in addition to twentieth-century photography. Two types are commonly available: a large-headed variety with a long, smooth stem and suitable for tall arrangements or presentation-style bouquets, and a miniature version ideal for nosegays and boutonnieres. Creamy ivory is the most popular color, but calla lilies also come in yellow, orange, mauve-pink, and dark purple.

4. Lily of the Valley

With bell-shape florets dangling from a thin stem, the lily of the valley is sometimes called "the ladder to heaven." The fresh, perfumed scent from its tiny flowers is unmistakable. In Norse mythology, the flower is linked to Ostara, the goddess of springtime, and while most plentiful during this season, it remains available -- and very expensive -- most of the year. So while a fistful of lily of the valley might be your dream, a more affordable alternative may be to use just a few stems to infuse a bouquet or centerpiece with its wonderful fragrance. Most people know of the white variety, but lily of the valley also comes in a very rare rosy-pink.

5. Hydrangeas

With its big bushy head and intense shades of pink, blue, burgundy, and purple, it's no wonder that the hydrangea represented "vanity" in the Victorian language of flowers. One of the most popular varieties changes in color as it grows from bubble-gum pink to sky blue, depending on the acid level of the soil. A stem or two of this moderately priced, scentless shrub flower helps fill out arrangements and bouquets, and a few sprigs make a charming boutonniere. You'll find the hydrangea in white and shades of green, pink, burgundy, and blue.

6. The Peony

The peony has a large, full head, strong perfume, and bright color. But despite this outward showiness, the flower acquired the Victorian meaning "bashfulness." Cultivated in Asia for more than a thousand years and developed further by the French, the peony is available in two main types, the herbaceous and the tree peony (the latter's flowers do not last as long when cut). A bouquet made solely of peonies can be gorgeous; the flower can also be used to create beautiful centerpieces and arrangements. Grown in single- and double-flower styles, this expensive bloom is seasonally available from late spring to early summer but can be imported in the fall.

7. Ranunculus

Looking for a cost-effective alternative to roses or peonies? Try the lush, multi-petaled ranunculus, a relative of the buttercup. First seen by Westerners in the Far East around the thirteenth century, this mild-scented flower features several blossoms on a stem with fernlike foliage. To carry ranunculus is to tell your partner, in the Victorian language of flowers, "I am dazzled by your charms." A natural for the bridal bouquet or bridesmaid nosegays, the ranunculus also makes a whimsical boutonniere and is available in many colors including white, yellow, orange, and pink.

8. Stephanotis

The Victorian meaning for this flower is "marital happiness," making the dainty white Stephanotis an obvious choice for weddings. The star-shape, waxy florets actually grow on a flowering vine; each must be individually wired or placed onto a special holder before it can be arranged. A bouquet of stephanotis blossoms is one of the most traditional a bride can carry, and a stephanotis boutonniere is a classic choice for a formal wedding. Mildly scented, moderately priced, and available year-round.

9. Sweet Peas

The sweet pea, which signifies "lasting pleasure," was first brought to England from Sicily in 1699, and the English have had a love affair with this delicate flower ever since. Its candy-like scent and ruffled blossoms make this an old-fashioned favorite in bouquets for the bride and her bridesmaids. The sweet pea's many colors range from white to intense pinks and purples, and its scent can be strong and sweet.

10. The Gardenia

Surrounded by dark green, waxy leaves, the exquisite gardenia exudes a sultry, heavy scent. It was this intoxicating fragrance that captivated an English sea captain traveling through South Africa in 1754, prompting him to bring home one of the native plants as a souvenir. Gardenias are lovely tucked into a bouquet or floating in a low bowl as a centerpiece, and a single gardenia makes a wonderful scented corsage. But be gentle: the delicate, creamy ivory petals of this expensive flower can bruise easily. Large three- to four-inch blossoms, as well as a miniature variety, are available.

Adapted from The Knot Book of Wedding Flowers (Chronicle Books, 2002).

-- The Knot

10 Conversations to Have with Your Wedding Photographer

Wedding photography will likely be one of the biggest expenses in your wedding budget, so it's imperative that you know exactly what you're getting before signing on the dotted line. We recommend meeting with several different photographers to get a feel for different shooting styles and personalities, and then making a decision based on both your gut feeling and your budget. Read on for ten conversations you should have before choosing a wedding photographer.



1. How would you describe your photography style? If you want a photojournalistic style and the photographer you're meeting with specializes in classic portraiture, this is not the wedding professional for you. Knowing your wedding style and bundling some images you love will help you find the right photographer for the job.

2. How often do you shoot weddings? How many weddings have you shot? Can I see your reviews? You want to hire someone confident, professional, and well-versed in the often-complicated realities of shooting a wedding. (Note: if you hire a friend or student photographer to save money, you may get some images you love but you're taking a gamble.) Checking out a photographer's reviews will help you get a sense of their "bedside manner" and the experience of working with them from start to finish.

3. Have you ever shot a wedding like mine? Have you shot at our location? Can I see the photos? Getting married in the woods of the Pacific Northwest? That's a different experience (read: rain!) than shooting a wedding in the bright sunshine of Southern California. Your photographer should understand the environment and be prepared for all types of weather and mishaps.

4. Can I see a full set of photos from a recent wedding? It's good to see an edited selection of a photographer's best images, but to get a sense of their range, style, and skill, you'll want to see a full set of wedding images. Know that not every picture will be great -- so don't toss a photographer aside because there are some less-than-perfect pictures in the set. Just browse the images to be sure all the important moments were captured and you like the overall photography style.

5. What do your packages include? What costs extra? Get specific about your costs: If you're buying a package, find out exactly what's included and what will cost you extra. (For example, if you need the photographer for an extra hour on the day-of, how much will it cost? Are digital images included?) Also ask if your photographer works with an assistant or second shooter and whether or not that person is included in the package fee. And confirm when your deposit is due and when your balance will be due.

6. What happens if you can't make it to my wedding? Things happen, people get sick, and there's a (slim!) chance your photographer won't be available on your big day. If he or she works with a backup photographer or another agency, meet those professionals before your big day.

7. Do you have any other events booked on my wedding day? It's OK if your photographer has other bookings, but you'll want to be aware of any time constraints and work them into your wedding-day schedule. If you need your photographer from morning to night, make that clear, and find out how much it's going to cost you.

8. What kind of editing will you do on my photos? All professionals do at least some editing on photos; fixing colors, shadow, highlights, and exposure is all standard. But there are some photographers who like to clean up "imperfections" on the subjects in their photos -- i.e. you and your new spouse -- and not everyone is OK with that. Ask any potential photographer how much editing they plan to do and be sure you're comfortable with it.

9. I have some particular shots in mind, are you willing to follow a list? Most wedding photographers are 100 percent familiar with shot lists, but ask this question in case you're working with a renegade who can't be tied down!

10. How long after the big day will I get proofs? Get this information in writing. You'll want to have, in your contract, a timeline for when you'll receive proofs and your final images.

XO,

Stephanie

7 Things Every Mother of the Bride Should Do

Photo: Christian Oth Studio


Some mothers of the bride are hyper involved in helping plan their daughter's wedding day, while other MOBs prefer to take a back seat. No matter which category your mom falls into, there are certain duties she is traditionally responsible for handling.

We consulted some top wedding planners to learn the ultimate mother-of-the-bride must-dos, plus asked them about some sweet nontraditional ways moms can lend a hand.

1. Shopping Support
Traditionally, mothers accompany their daughters in their search for a wedding dress, there to simply share in the joy and provide loving and honest feedback. Mom's far away? Email dress ideas back and forth or schedule a dress-shopping visit.

2. Researching Traditions and Finding Family Heirlooms
It typically falls on your mom to uncover religious or cultural traditions you — or your groom's family — might want to incorporate in the ceremony. She will also help you find the "something old" or "something borrowed," such as a stunning piece of jewelry that's been in your family for generations.

3. Go-To Contact
Your mom should be the one whose name you give to the caterers, florist, planners, entertainers, and venue to field questions and help coordinate. (Whew!) As celeb wedding planner Colin Cowie suggests, "Set your mom up for success with a list of creative contacts and a message book solely for your wedding day."


4. Playing Host
From the moment guests begin to arrive in town through the end of the ceremony, the mother of the bride is the official hostess, helping each guest feel welcome. According to Diann Valentine, event maven who has planned weddings for Usher and Toni Braxton, "Receiving lines are not as customary, so making point to greet or visit with each guest is important." Additionally, Valentine suggests that the mother of the bride host a dinner party for the groom's family or an afternoon tea for just the ladies of both families. "This goes a long way to help them welcome her into their family with open arms."

5. Communicating Outfit Choice with Your Groom's Mom
According to Colin Cowie, "Etiquette dictates that your mother follows your lead as to the color and formality of the dress she picks. The bride's mom buys her gown before the mother of the groom, and, once chosen, calls the groom's mother to describe her dress."

6. Day-of Dressing Assistance
"Helping the bride into her dress and placing the veil is, and will always remain, such a sweet, time-honored tradition," says Lynn Easton, owner of Easton Events in Charleston, SC, and Charlottesville, VA.

7. Second Dance
After you and your groom perform your first dance, then it's time for your mom and your dad (or whomever accompanies her), to take a spin. After all, your mom deserves her moment to shine, too!
No matter what, your mom will be there to help support you in whatever you need. There may be tension — between you and your mom or your family and your groom's — but it will pass. Emotions will be high, but your mom's there to be your rock — and your realist. Remember: She always has your best interests in mind.

Always a Bridesmaid (11 Times)

Jeff Firestone

I'll never forget my first time. I wore this drapey cream-colored promish dress. I think it involved a sash. At 21, I celebrated with the bride and other maids at some karaoke bar for the Bachelorette party. I gave the obligatory botched wine-soaked, half-crying speech at the rehearsal dinner. Headache pounding, I then miraculously made it through hair and makeup on the actual "big day."

Walking down the aisle, gracefully carrying a carnation bouquet, I stared at my then boyfriend standing on the groom's side fantasizing about our future wedding. A mere youngster, I clearly knew nothing about love, commitment, or holding my liquor. I'm not sure how much more I know now, but twenty years later, with significantly fewer stars in my eyes, I do have two feet planted more firmly on earth. I also look at the wedding machine quite a bit differently.
With 11 weddings under my belt, I know what wedding procedures and traditions I love (filet mignon) and which ones I would rather not experience ever again (the buffet). With the help of my compadre, Shannon Hill, we give you:

The Good, the Bad (dresses) and the Ugly (my updo) of Bridesmaid-ship
1. Most importantly, before I get into some of the jokes, costs, and annoyances, I want to say that your friend asking you to support her on her special day is a huge blessing. It is a beautiful thing to be asked, and I am grateful for every wedding I've been a part of. Now, let's dig in.

2. It's expensive. That diarrhea scene in Bridesmaids, where they are shopping for pricey wedding dresses, is no joke (well maybe the shitting and puking part). Participation in a full-blown wedding will set you back substantially.


Here is a standard and very approximate breakdown from my experience:
• Throwing the wedding shower costs (hopefully split between the bridesmaid crew) $100 to $300 each depending on fanciness-level.
• Wedding shower gift $50.
• Dress (you won't wear it again), jewelry, and shoes, $400 (bare minimum).
• Bachelorette Party in Vegas with flight, booze, food, chipping in for the bride, limo, hotel, strip club (debauchery), upwards of $1000 each.
• Wedding gift $50 (at least).
• Hair and makeup on the big day $100 to $200-ish.
Michelle's Rough Estimation = $1,800 to be a bridesmaid.

3. Some dramafied episode will happen. It just will. I've seen fistfights that ended the dancing part and major bitchery between the bride's newer friends and older ones. I've seen food throwing between divorced parents of the bride. Some bridesmaid (never me of course) will definitely hook up with some groomsman hoping a relationship will blossom. Someone will drop a glass of beer on the dance floor. Someone else will slip on that beer and cut their lip. Someone will cry. It all goes down at weddings because booze and romantic notions of forever make people say and do dumb things.

4. Rituals that seemed special will become annoying like: the bride and groom lighting one candle with their individual candles to show that now they are all joined and "one being." Same deal with the two colored sand piles that get mixed into one and "can never be unmixed!" The insanity of "mixing lives and forgetting individuality" that is implied with these rituals is what's annoying. Oh, and how can we forget the groom, to sexy stripper music, pulling the garter off the bride's thigh with his teeth while the bride laughs innocently like her dude's never been to that region before. It's so stupid. I loathe it and want this tradition banned.

5. If you are like me and still single in your thirties, be prepared to hear the same thing from aunts, friends, and anyone else at the wedding who sort of knows you: "Don't worry. I am sure you will be next, Honey." My recent experience, their expression is changing from hopeful to doubtful. These loved ones actually don't know anymore if you will be next (and neither do you). Too uncomfortable to ask what is going wrong, they nervously launch back into the old standbys, "You are dating right? Who are you dating?" Please, for the love of Jesus, just ask me about something else. I've gained some weight. Tell me you notice. Honestly, anything is less excruciating than someone asking whom I'm dating.

6. On a positive note, homemade vows are always the best things ever. When I see a couple read something they wrote for their person on a crumpled up piece of paper, I swoon. I love that shit. That's my favorite part of the wedding. Real words, said from the heart are #1 and rule.

7. Speeches are fun and should be taken seriously. If you are giving one, make it funny, practice it, and land those jokes. People love good speeches. Mix the stories, new stuff, and good things about the person your friend is marrying, and you'll be fine.

8. Participation in too many weddings could cause you to not want a wedding. I'm serious. I actually kind of don't know if I want a wedding (when I finally get married at age 80 to my childhood friend I made that "if we're not married by this age" pact with). I might just want to get hitched quietly, in front of a few family members in a field like Napoleon Dynamite's brother Kip. He and LaFawnduh were soul mates, you know.

This thing is getting too long, kind of like a wedding with a full Mass. Whatever you do, be grateful if you're asked, try to suck it up on the finances, and always act like a lady (at least until dinner and speeches are over with).

6 Things Young Brides Need to Know About Marriage

I have seen the "advice for brides" columns before. They are often laden with sugar-coated, diluted suggestions for living happily ever after: "Communication is the key to happiness" or "Healthy fighting equals a successful marriage."


I read them all before I got married. At 24 years old, I thought I knew I was doing -- because when you're in your twenties, you think you are wise beyond your years. But after two children and 10 years of marriage, clearly I wasn't wise enough, as my "happily ever after" ended with divorce.
Now, I am a divorce coach -- coaching women who are unhappily married looking to end their relationship, or those who are recently divorced. I have talked with hundreds of women worldwide about their regrets and what they have learned.


Here's what you need to know before you say "I do":


1) It's not about the wedding, but the man at the end of the aisle: The bridal marketing industry has done a great job brainwashing us to think we need that dream wedding. More than ever, brides are obsessed with spending thousands on a dress they will wear for only four hours, as well as months of planning every detail down to the last flower petal. Don't forget the purpose of the wedding -- which is to marry your best friend. When you walk down the aisle focus on him, not everyone looking at you. Remember, the wedding lasts a day, but your marriage is forever.


2) If you're not attracted to him now, you may never be: Perhaps you grew up with him or you've known him for years, and you love him because of the history you share. But are you physically attracted to him? Women who have been married for years have told me, "I love him, but I have never really found him attractive." And because of that, sex becomes a major problem in the marriage, with one or both spouses looking to cheat. Attraction to each other is a huge part of intimacy and passion, which is key to a lifelong relationship.


3) You need to be best friends now for when the sh*t hits the fan later: When you are in your twenties, you have yet to see job loss, mortgage payments, pregnancy scares or infertility, a sick child at 2 a.m., or having to take care of your elderly parent. You will endure stress you can't fathom right now, and your relationship will be tested. As best friends, role play these scenarios so that you can mitigate any surprises later.


4) You should never complete each other: Oh, Jerry Maguire, how you set us all up for failure with your famous line, "You. Complete. Me." Here's a secret: No one should complete anyone. You should love yourself and be secure with who you are, as no man should ever make you feel whole. Without a strong foundation of your whole self, your relationship will be built like a house of cards. In marriage, 1+1 does not equal 2. It should equal two ones.


5) Divorce is always an option: No one ever gets married thinking they will get divorced. But, try this: Go into your marriage thinking you might get divorced. Knowing that your relationship is always at risk will force you to nurture and respect it. Appreciate each other every day. Say thank you. If you happen to find a diamond on the ground, you will hold onto to it dearly, knowing that it might get lost. Do the same with your marriage.


6) Having kids will not make your marriage better: In case you haven't heard, having kids is tough. The moment a child comes into your life, your marriage is no longer about each other, but about raising a human being. Being a parent will bring you the most joy you will ever see, but it will also bring you agony, heartbreak, and lots of work. I see unhappy couples have more children to fill the void that is in their marriage, only to find them divorced after the baby novelty wears off. So don't expect children to improve your marriage because for a while, it will feel like they are tearing you apart.


At 39 years old, I recently walked down the aisle for the second time in my life. Hopefully you will do it only once. But I'm pretty confident this marriage will work, only because I know it may not.
Cheers, to all you beautiful brides out there -- now go get married!

Watch: Dying Cancer Patient Fulfills Wedding Wish

Rowden Go Pangcoga and his fiancée Leizel planned to tie the knot on July 8, 2014 — which would have been his 30th birthday — but in May, their dreams were dashed when he was diagnosed with stage IV liver cancer. His last request was to marry his one true love before it was too late.


In just 12 hours, family members and friends of the Philippines couple managed to prepare all of the arrangements. Pangcoga's brother, Hasset, posted a same-day edit by Snap Creatives on YouTube, writing that "Unable to take him outside the hospital, we brought the church to him. It was like a heartbreaking fairy tale."


The groom passed away on June 11, less than 10 hours after saying "I do," and he leaves behind a two-year-old daughter, Zakiah.


Watch the touching wedding video here:





Our prayers go out to the couple's families.


—Stefania Sainato

9 Couples Who Know That Weddings Are Just An Excuse To Have A Good Time

Between the romantic vows and the heartfelt toasts, there are plenty of serious (but beautiful!) wedding moments. So it's our firm belief that the rest of the wedding should be a party -- and parties, in case you've forgotten, are fun.


Below, nine funny wedding signs from couples who simply refuse to take weddings or themselves too seriously.

pseudodesigner/Imgur
You've been warned.

Dustin Lewis Images

Don't mess with this ring bearer.

Pavone Photography

If the DJ plays "Sweet Caroline," all bets are off.

 

Larissa Cleveland Photography

The tie that binds.

Marcio Cavalcanti Photography

Excellent point.

Angela Sackett, Legacy Seven Studios

The epitome of happiness.

PW Photography

Tellin' it like it is.

The Nichols

Nailed it.

ThrowAwayPete/Reddit
There's no love like gamer love.

10 Things a Mother of the Bride Should Never Do Under Any Circumstances

Photo: New Line/Courtesy Neal Peters Collection


Sandy Malone, star of TLC's Wedding Island, is the owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico. Here, the pro-planner is dishing some of her expert advice for free. The topic? Her top ten don'ts for mothers of the bride.


1. Never be late. We've had the MOB show up after the welcome party ended (and she was staying at the venue where the party was held). Worse, another MOB was so far behind schedule on the wedding day that she caused the bride to go down the aisle 45 minutes late. That means the bride lost a chunk of her reception party time.


2. Don't try to steal the show or the photographer. Stay off the center of the dance floor after too many cocktails, and don't take the photogs away from shooting the wedding for your own personal picture requests. It's not your day.


3. If you didn't help plan the wedding, don't try to change any details on the big day. The planners are following a strict schedule and décor plan that the bride pre-approved.



4. Don't get drunk at the wedding events. It's fine to celebrate, but remember that everybody has video on their cameras now.


5. Don't wear white, ivory, or champagne — or any other color you wouldn't have wanted your own mother to wear on your wedding day.


6. Don't try to match the bridesmaids or the wedding party unless your daughter has specifically requested it. You're not a member of the bridal party, you're the mother of the bride and you should stand out as such, in an appropriate dress.


7. Don't flirt with the staff. More than one inebriated MOB has glued herself to my husband or another unfortunate male staff member at weddings I've planned. We're working and you're embarrassing the bride.



8. Never forget that you're a parent, not "one of the kids." Behave like an adult and resist the urge to plunge into the swimming pool when the drunk 20-somethings make the splash.


9. Regardless of how you feel about your daughter's new spouse, do not express displeasure with the groom or his family during the wedding weekend. You never know who can hear what you're saying, so be careful if you are complaining to friends or the wedding planner. There are other guests all around you who may repeat what they overhear you say.


10. Never refer to your daughter's big day as "our" wedding. It's not your wedding — the day belongs solely to your daughter and her soon-to-be spouse. If you keep this one in mind, it might help you avoid the first nine things "thou shalt not do" at her wedding.

What to Know About All-Inclusive Honeymoons

photo credit: Honua Kai Resort and Spa

 

 

If you look in the back of just about any bridal magazine, you’ll see an abundance of advertisements for all-inclusive honeymoon packages. For many couples, this can prove enticing. Imagine not having to spend all that time coordinating flights, picking hotels, worrying about land transportation, or trying to budget for food and excursions. Sure sounds nice, doesn’t it?
While there are many benefits to choosing an all-inclusive honeymoon package, it’s important to note that not every “all-inclusive” is the same. Here are four of the key things you’ll want to consider before booking:


1. Just what is included? All-inclusive packages have a broad interpretation of the term “inclusive.” Be sure to read the fine print so you know if things like all meals, alcoholic beverages, gratuities and taxes, and off-site excursions are included in your rate. There can also be up-charges for travel at certain times of the day or year, so don’t get caught off-guard there.


2. Is it really a good deal for us? Do you and your spouse drink alcoholic beverages? Do you actually take excursions? Are you foodies who plan to experience cuisine outside of what’s included in the resort’s buffet? If you don’t actually need or intend to make use of the items included in an inclusive honeymoon package, you might not be saving yourself any money. Make sure the package is right for your needs.


3. Will the resort environment suit us? Some all-inclusive resorts cater to families, some to retirees, and others to honeymooners and romantics. Some are targeted towards adventurous and active couples who love off-site activities, while others encourage relaxation and indulgence. Be sure you book somewhere that will make your honeymoon as special as you’ve always dreamed.


4. Am I going to get what I expect? Keep in mind that all companies put their best foot forward in their marketing and sales efforts. You’ll find the best pictures and testimonials on a resort’s collateral. Before you book, read reviews from other couples who have already experienced the package you’re considering. This is the best way to help you make a decision on what’s right for you.
The bottom line is that you should do your homework before booking an all-inclusive honeymoon. Only you and your future spouse know what will fit your vision and budget. Don’t get caught by surprise by any fine print, and trust real reviews as you make your decisions. If you do, you’ll both be able to kick back and relax as you celebrate your new life together!