5 Signs You're Being a Bad Friend (And How to Turn Things Around!)

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It's a given that friendships change over time, and there's no doubt that your friendships will be strained a bit through the stress of wedding planning, and that's fine and normal. But be careful you're not becoming a delinquent friend in the process. Here are five warning signs to watch out for:


1. She does all the calling. When we get busy and feel stressed, we can sometimes retreat, become more self-focused and forget the importance of reaching out to others, even the people we love most. And when your best friend is doing all the calling, you might not even notice that it's happening until she starts to feel like you don't care about her as much as you used to. Try to remember to set your stress aside now and then and initiate contact with your closest friends: suggest a run, a girls' night out, or a shopping trip.


2. You cancelled on her a few times in a row. Once is forgivable, twice is ... a little rude. Three times? She's going to be miffed. She knows you're busy, exhausted, and you have a lot on your plate, but she still expects your best self and your time, just as you deserve hers.


3. Your conversations are all about you. When you talk, is it all about you? Is she always helping you solve your problems? And as the hours pass when you're out to dinner, have you hardly scratched the surface of her life? Red flag! When things weigh too heavily in your direction, tip the scale back to her. Refocus and ask her how things are going in her life. Even if you feel like you have more to vent about and discuss, redirect the conversation by saying something like, "Boy, we've talked a lot about me tonight; Let's catch up on your life!"


4. You haven't asked her "How can I help?" in a while. Of course, your wedding's coming up, and you need help (which is why you're so grateful to your maid-of-honor for handling so many items on the wedding to-do-list!), but if you can't remember the last time you offered to help her with something in her life, time for a redirect!


5. She's stopped sharing secrets with you. Yes, your BFF is a great listener and a sponge for your stress, and while this arrangement can work during a stressful period (i.e., planning your wedding!), if it's a one-way street, it is unsustainable forever. Friendship is a give and take, and she's going to need you to be there for her too. She needs to vent and share her innermost secrets with you, just as you have done. Try to get the two-way street back for the health of your friendship.


—Sarah Jio